Why do women put so much of themselves into a relationship?

Question

hmm... It doesn't seem like men do that... women seem to lose themselves in their partner. I know I do... which makes a breakup SO much more difficult. Seriously... why do we do that?

god... it must be so much easier to be a man!!

Answer 1

Well I don't think LOSING yourself in a relationship is healthy, but both people are supposed to put their all into a relationship. Relationships take hard work, and if you don't put 100% in (although that doesn't mean giving up everything you liked about your life before this person was around), then it isn't going to work. I put everything I have into a relationship - I want to give it my best - then if things don't work out, at least I know it wasn't because of a lack of effort on my part. However, I still hang out with my friends, maintain my exercise schedule, etc. while in a relationship.

As for people who become a different person and stop doing everything they were doing when single, while in a relationship... I don't know why they'd do that. I guess they don't know who they really are, and are weak. I'm sorry to be blunt like that, but it's true.

I totally disagree with these people's responses. Women are not THAT different than men - I know a lot of men that put all of themselves into a relationship too. Break ups are NOT more difficult for women. There have been studies that show that women are actually faster to recover from relationships because they have friends that they can talk to and lean on after a break up. Men often don't, yet they are experiencing the same stress.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Women are very, very emotional and being in a relationship only opens up those emotions so much more through trust and friendship. Women are always, constantly thinking. There is never a time a woman is thinking of nothing. Guys on the otherhand have the capability to block out thought completely. This does not help in a relationship because it allows women more time to think and dwell on the relationship.

Women grow up dreaming of prince charming and getting married. It's something inside their brains that tell them that settling down is neccessary for survival. However, when dating as young as our society does these days, the feelings associated with marriage start to spring out a lot earlier than they should, and women get attached to men they don't even want to marry. So even if they don't want to marry their partner, after a breakup they feel a huge loss.

It's all down to the way women think emotionally and the way men think through the senses.

Answer 4

It would seem that it is easier to be a man.

But truth is, we are the ones whose emotions run through "touch." We are romantic, and embrace life with words and feelings.

While most "men" are satisfied through their eyes. They can nod to one another and say hello. [Most women need to ask too many questions, like "how are you?" and to some men, that's too much].

Maybe that's why they came up with that Venus and Mars book, so long ago.

As for breaking up, kiddo... we women can love someone almost to "death," suffocating them, and being so very much in love, we don't see a future without them.

I learned the hard way, it's better to let go, and move on.
Try talking it out with good friends, without holding the pain or a grudge. Then maybe it won't hurt quite as much.

God bless you today.

Answer 5

Men do this too... just in a completely different way than we do and they are just as easily hurt when that breakup happens... they just hide it better. This is unless you get a player, but there are women who play just as much. It all depends on the person and who they choose to try as a partner.

Answer 6

Women have been socialized to be caring and nurturing from a young age. One only has to look at the types of toys they are given and the expectations that are placed upon them. Carol Gilligan's theory of the edict of care is a perfect example of how this process influences women and men differently.

Answer 7

Most women say they don't do this ... but I "Imprint" like a baby duck ... so the man becomes the leader, and I'll follow even if it's to hell.

So, now that I'm aware that I "Imprint" ... well, I understand why traditional women were taught to be distant until the man earns "Trust" ... otherwise I'll keep "Imprinting" on losers.

Answer 8

yes i was thinking the same thing,I read a post by a girl who was really devestated because her boyf left her,she went on about how her life revolved around him,howcould he do this,he was her world etc etc.Now she cant function,is calling crisis lines because he left her for someone else.

I don't get how anyone gets like that? you should truly know yourself and be capable of your own happiness before you depend on it from someone else.Putting everything you are into someone else or looking for yourself in someone else just seems like the biggest cop out there is and leaves you hollow once they leave.


I have never relied on my boyfriends for my happiness or lost who i am in them,they are one of the many good things in my life but they are not my whole life.What guy could bear a girl whose main focus in life was him?

Answer 9

It's the way they're created, but that's sth we can change. Any human being can control his/her emotions; however since many of us don't try to defeat our instincts, we happen to be the way we're supposed to be, not totally what we wanna be!(I know, confusing :D)

Answer 10

It is because women are born nurturers. Men are still evolving in this category.