My stepson, who I raised, is now a grown man with a wife and child. His father and I divorced some years ago after many years of marriage. We had a blended family (his son, my daughter and a child together). My children are still extremely close and my stepson has always considered me as his Mom even though he has a biological mother who was in and out of his life while he was young. Now that he's grown, his biological mother has a renewed interest in him, which is all good for him. On the other hand, she has always resented my ex and me and thinks nothing of making a scene and ruining celebrations. I am still included in all his life events, but can't help feeling awkward/uncomfortable. My husband and I have a civil relationship with my ex and his family, but I still feel like an intruder. Any advice for me?
2007-07-25 03:26:22 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your stepson chooses to include you in his life, then you should enjoy the time you spend together and not let someone who didnt spend as much time with him as you did ruin your life. If you ignore her then he will realize what is going on and take steps to correct the situation. If you are concerned you might want to take him aside and let him know that you appreciate being included in a particular celebration but that if it makes it easier for him you could skip this event. Dont do it too often though because he may think you dont want to be part of the celebration. Set aside time to spend with him when she isnt going to be part of his day if she makes you that uncomfortable. I am sure he understands
2007-07-25 03:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by dave n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did a great thing raising your stepson but you need to cut the ties. He's grown now and has a mom and it sounds like you've moved on with your life...why not just continue moving...
2007-07-25 10:34:08 · answer #2 · answered by Steven's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep on with what you are doing...all that matter is your relationship with your son!! His opinion is the only one that matters. My mom and stepdad divorce in '04 after 15 years of marriage....he raised me since I was 13 and he is my dad!! He promised that no matter what he'd always be there for me and that has meant more to my life than anything!! Ignore the ex and keep on keepin on...your son will see your strength and dedication to him and he will honor you as his mom!!
Praise God for you!
2007-07-25 10:34:07 · answer #3 · answered by Notagain 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i have 5step children (i hate the word step) I always treated my kids like they were mine. while going through the divorce my kids were very mad at me and their dad. because it was their home. My ex moved to one state and I to another and my children followed me. In their eyes they have 2moms and a dad. and after many years of resentment she and I are pretty good friends. it is not you it is her she needs to appreciate everything you did for him and except you as part of the family because it sounds to me like you are a blessed as i am. having beautiful children just given to us by God. It must be hard to be a mom and not in your child's life so it is probably herself she is mad at and resents not you. I hear people tell me a lot. what a good person I am for being in my kids lives. I'm just blessed.
2007-07-25 10:52:50 · answer #4 · answered by woodlvtohlp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be intimidated. You sound confident in who you are. Maybe even voice your thoughts when an uncomfortable situation arises.
2007-07-25 10:31:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, all that matters is how your stepson feels about it. If he wants you around, then so be it.
2007-07-25 10:31:40 · answer #6 · answered by bellesnail 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her and be there for your son! Yes he is your son, you were a positive figure in his life.
2007-07-25 10:32:27 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what feels right, if it doesn't feel right, talk to him about it, and let him know how you feel. Maybe he can talk to his mother about how she feels about you
2007-07-25 10:32:48 · answer #8 · answered by ilovelilPhof 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋