I am in a program that requires me to work as a teacher for 2 years (within a window of 3 years) in order to get my certification. I live in a VERY competitive area where it is incredibly difficult to get your foot in the door at most of the big districts. I had a one year contract last year and so I am needed to do year #2 of teaching in order to get certified. There are several jobs available to me several hours from my husband & house...and we're having a difficult time deciding what we should do. We see pro's and con's to both sides (me moving temporarilty for 9 months to get certified vs. me staying and not having a job and HOPING that I get one next year or I don't get certified and will have wasted my experience & money in regards to the program) and I figure maybe I can get some feedback on here. Would you or wouldn't you move and why? (We've only been married a little over a year and we have house, car and loan payments so living on one salary isn't possible currently)
2007-07-25 03:23:33 · 10 answers · asked by its about time 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way, try to be nice and supportive either way...in case you can't tell I'm under plenty of stress without rude comments on here :)
2007-07-25 03:24:20 · update #1
Sorry, more info...we have no kids. My husband can't move because he has a good job and plans to stay there awhile. My family lives across the country, so it really is just me and my husband. We have no trust issues...he travels sometimes for work and its no big deal to either of us...we wouldn't cheat, so that isn't something that I even have to consider. I'd be renting a room for pretty cheap, so financially it isn't going to be a burden...if I have a full time job, $200 bucks a month won't hurt us at all vs. me not having a job at all or substitute teaching where we live and I'll make about poverty level income.
2007-07-25 05:02:43 · update #2
Oh, and it would only be about 2 hours away, so we would have weekends together no problem
2007-07-25 05:03:34 · update #3
Husbands do this all the time. And most families survive if it is done intelligently. One does have to do what one must for the family to survive. If you absolutely have to have the money, then you have no choice. The problem with most people is they think "wants" are really needs. The only real needs are food, shelter, and health. If you do it, stay very involved with the family and those support functions. And if it is only an hour or so back to home, then think of your work location as just "lodging", and go home. Don't get involved in anything at the work location as this will tear things apart. Good luck.
2007-07-25 03:28:18 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For me it would depend on many things though I personally don't think I could stand to live away from my husband, family and home for 9 months. But since that's the choice you are faced with, you have to think about all the factors. How far away will you be living? Where will you stay? Will you rent a room or stay with a friend? What are the financial ramifications of your moving elsewhere - because if you move you will be now trying to maintain two separate households with separate expenses. If money is tight now, how can this work? What is the level of trust and commitment in your marriage? Can it withstand the distance - this is a very big area to worry about it. How easy is it for you and your husband to visit? Can you rent your house for the 9 months and have your husband move with you? I'm assuming there are no children, you didn't mention any. Well that is all the questions I have for you - they are really there for you to consider further the pros and cons. Good luck.
2007-07-25 03:48:58 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a tough call. If your husband is supportive, and you think the relationship can handle the distance, than you should at least consider the move so that you don't waste the time and money you've invested in your career. I'm going for my doctorate, and a lot of my classmates and I are in similar situations. If you can stay close enough to see each other most weekends, it will make it easier. It's not fun, it's not easy, but it's only 9 months. On the downside, it would mean the expense of another apartment for the year, and it sucks to be apart when you don't want to be.
2007-07-25 03:32:09 · answer #3 · answered by meh 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I live by Suze Orman's motto:
People First
Then Things
Then Money
So, I don't think I would put an internship in front of my marriage. Marriages are already difficult enough, so putting nine months of distance between the two of you may not be the most beneficial move. However, there are many women who relocate for their career, so it can be done. But, I think I would bust my butt and find one in district. I understand competitiveness, but the pay is not that great and the kids are horrible, so I KNOW there are still open teaching positions in your district. Why not give yourself a few months and set up a deadline (have your husband's input, as well). If you don't find one in that time period, make plans to move.
2007-07-25 03:35:15 · answer #4 · answered by TwinkaTee 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd stay close to home and substitute teach if that opportunity came up. Meanwhile I'd keep plugging away trying to get teaching jobs - have you looked at private schools? You could volunteer to do free tutoring at the schools in your area - on site, working with the teachers who are already there.
I'm not a teacher and yet I would love to tutor math. I've been thinking about doing tutoring - free - and I'm going to try to do that next year while I continue to take math classes myself. So far, I have only heard positive things about my idea. I would have to work with the math teachers in order to keep up with and be prepared to discuss the homework.
Nine months, even with weekends at home, seems like a long time. Could you also consider finding a new living situation midway between the new teaching job and your husband's job?
2007-07-29 10:23:35 · answer #5 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Looks like you have already answered your own question... You say that you love and trust him and that its for the well being of the family... and you get to stay home out of the deal... so whats the problem... yes there may be some lonely nights, but that can make it even more interesting... you two can do the phone thang.... try it out for a while and see how it goes... he can always find another job if that doesnt work out... good luck...
bouncin out~*
2007-08-01 08:00:10 · answer #6 · answered by beckybounce226 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you would be okay away from him for 9 months....Just make sure there are frequent visits during this time. You have to do what is going to be best for your whole family in the long run.
Good luck...This is a though situation. I sure hope you are both trustworthy and have a strong relationship.
2007-07-25 03:36:17 · answer #7 · answered by bellesnail 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say do whatever is best for you in the long run. If you move away how far away is it? I'd say it would be better to go ahead and do it, that way you have a better chance of getting the job you want. If you don't do it, you always wish you would have done it!! Listen to you female insticts.
2007-07-25 03:36:51 · answer #8 · answered by ... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep this job. Make the weekend wild and wonderful together.
2007-07-28 22:30:22 · answer #9 · answered by bsharpbflatbnatural 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its difficult,you may have to curb your lifestyle as in parties,association,stay focused.He will need to do same.
2007-07-25 03:32:12 · answer #10 · answered by hunter 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋