My sister-in-law is recently divorced and is staying with us until she moves into her new house supposedly (or so she claimed) for 1- 2 week max.... that was 6 weeks ago.
She does nothing to help, only comes in when dinner is put on the table, contributes nothing and raids the fridge each evening, to top it all she glued her broken nail together on our new leather couch and spilt superglue on it, never said a word until I confronted her and all she said is sorry 'bout that..
I told my husband I wanted her out, we had a huge row he didn't talk to me for 2 days and when he did accused me of lying, being underhand, 2 faced and trying to drive a wedge between him and his family. We have been married for 24 years, I take his mother every christmas (for 3 days) as none of him family will tollerate her, this has been for the last 16 years.
He brought up an argument I had with a 'friend' of mine last year when I caught her talking badly about me and he said I was lying.
2007-07-25 02:53:18 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I cannot leave as our youngest is going through puberty and has anxiety problems - schoolwork etc., so I have to stay until he is older (he is 12).
What do I do ?
2007-07-25 02:55:35 · update #1
Hi Chikemama - thanks for your advice, the only reason I take his mum for christmas is I cannot leave anyone on their own at that time of year, and I have my mum who is a widow as well, but she helps out, goodwill to all etc., and yes it has been hard.
2007-07-25 04:18:33 · update #2
LittleComfort. It was your question actually that brought this type of situation to my mind. I have parents who dont seem to get me or understand what i am about and therefore i get accused of such things. Im lucky in that my husband understands me and knows me inside out and vice versa. I am guessing the problem is deeper than whats going on with his sister. You have been married 24 years so he will know full well what you are like, i would be more inclined to sort out what is going on with your hubby. Seems very unreasonable to me, you deserve more support from him. It must be very fustrating.
Im confused as to why your hubby insists on falsely accusing you of being someone your not, in the worst kind of way. Is this just a recent thing or has it been this way always? Maybe it runs in his family, as you say his mother is a nightmare, now the sister and your hubby is showing you no support, respect or thanks for taking care of HIS family.
2007-07-25 06:40:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am So sorry that you are dealing with all these stressful issues. I know that that is very hard.
Have you talked with you sister - in -law? keep in mind that she is going through a divorce, and is probably a bit depressed and scared. She may be afraid of living on her own. Maybe talk to her and see about having her help around the house.
As for your husband, it is probably stressful for him too having his sister there. Try again to talk to him ( after you talk to you sis- in -law) and let him know what was said. Maybe some counseling would be good too, to work out the issues of supporting you spouse. (husband backing up friends and family over you)
As for the Mom- in- law, if she is so awful, why do you take her crap every Christmas? Because your husband says so?
Maybe this year, get your husband's sis out of the house and into her own place, and talk to your husband about the two of you and your son going away on holiday. Without MOM!
Good Luck!
2007-07-25 03:07:45 · answer #2 · answered by chickemama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So its ok for your sister-inlaw to drive a wedge between your husband and yourself then. She should pay keep as i bet your older children are if they are working. Can't you suggest to her that maybe she should get a job to take her mind of the matters she is going through. If your husband doesn't start seeing your side of things then i would start stating that he will be in the same situation as her- going through a divorce. Why should you be the brunt of all her problems. She is taking advantage of your hospitality and needs to understand you are not there to slave around after her. I would refuse to do it and tell your husband if he wants her here then let him do everything for her as your not!!
2007-07-25 03:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get to the bottom of why he thinks you're trying to drive a wedge between him and his family.
There's obviously something deeper going on here. It may be nothing to do with his family at all.
Look at your relationship with your husband. How do you communicate? Is the way you speak to each other confrontational? Maybe what you need to do is sit down together and talk about what's going on between you.
Peter
http://www.renewingromance.co.uk
2007-07-25 09:26:56 · answer #4 · answered by Peter P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two had problems long before his sister moved in. You need to rethink this marriage.
2007-07-25 02:57:26 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay where you're at and boot him and his sister to the curb.
If they're lucky, maybe their mother will drive by and pick them up.
2007-07-25 03:11:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont leave. tell your hubby to take his sister and leave or better yet, it is your house too. go home and tell her it is time to go. give her till the end of next week.
2007-07-25 02:58:25 · answer #7 · answered by Yes I am here!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you only together for the sake of the kids if so then that initself is not healthy
2007-07-25 03:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by pretty flower 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋