Hubby can't / won't find a job......!!?

Question

Hubby had to quit his job (it was seasonal employment). He is now unemployed. I work full time thankfully!
This whole week he's been staying at home watching our 3 kids (saving money on daycare costs).
Yesterday, my mom came over to watch the kids so that he could go to an interview at a temp agency. He was suppose to come to my work after my mom showed up to get directions to the place. He never showed. He left his cell phone with my mom in case of an emergency (we don't have a land line). He told my mom that he thought he knew where the place was and left. He never went. Supposedly he spent like 6 freakin hours looking for jobs in one area - but not once, did he go in and put in a f**king application. No where. We are sinking fast in the finances, it's bad.
My questions - What was he thinking? What was he doing all that time? I did ask if he was out messin around on me, he said no, but who knows. What kind of a man does sh*t like this? Any advice what to do?

Answer 1

First you gotta find out what's going on. Don't get angry, it only shuts people down to be yelled at. Just try to calmly get to the root of the matter. I can't decipher if it's only been a week since he's left his job, in which case I wouldn't be surprised if he's hoping for a few days off before looking for work (I know it's not cool but...). My suggestion would be to sit down and start working on finances, just go over monthly expenses, bills due and monies coming in (don't hold back here on verbalizing your concerns about what's going to happen and what to do). A gentle reminder that his family needs him to contribute now. If nothing happens after that 2-3 days) let him know that you can't afford to support him and the children too. That if it comes to a choice the kids are first and he's gone. Give him a chance to really put it out there to you about what's going on w/o being afraid of a reaction from you and deal with the issue calmly together.

Answer 2

You didn't marry a man, you married a child. I'd say get counseling but if finances are an issue that probably isn't an option. I'd give him an ultimatum. Either get a job and keep it or find another place to live. Yeah - it sounds harsh but there has to be SOME kind of concequences. He can't enjoy the luxary of a family and not contribute to raising them. That's not how the world works.

Answer 3

I suggest you sit him down for a serious talk. Tell him that it is imperative for him to find employment as soon as possible. Remind him that he has a family and he needs to help provide for them. Tell him that you want to see him making an honest effort (putting in applications, showing up for interviews). If he does not immediately begin actively searching for a job, I would ask him to leave until he finds something. Tell him that you are not planning to be the sole support in the family. And that if he does not care enough about you and your children to take care of his responsibilities, then perhaps he should seek other living arrangements for the time being. Good luck.:)

Answer 4

he needs to be the one working actually both of you do with 3 kids maybe he just wanted a break from the kids being with 3 kids 24/7 can be stressfull but so can being the only provider for 5 you need to evaluate your life see what your priorities are leave him let the state help pay for daycare request child support (they will still order him to pay with no job) is he cleaning hte house and cooking and laundry if not he is lazy and probly will never change he may change fro a week or so if he thinks you are leaving but he will go right back to being him self

Answer 5

did he actually say he was not out looking for a job? were miles racked up on the car showing he was actually looking for a job? or was the tank lower on fuel? was he at a buddy's house? hmmm...ask him more questions...and find out...I hope you find out...=). Hmmm. This is a tough one. Why did he have to quit his job, just wondering? He has only been unemployed 1 week? Hmmm...he probably likes his vacation, lol...let's hope he's not messing around and see what happens this week...ok? keep us updated...

Answer 6

omg do we have the same husband?!?!?!? it took me telling him he had to leave and he did and i was so scared that he wouldnt come back but in a week he told me how much he couldnt stand being apart and he knew that he needed a job and he would try harder, and he did. now he has a job. what happens is that a man gets in a depression slump and thinks that he simply cannot get a job, so instead of getting let down over and over they stop trying.

Answer 7

it is embarrassing looking for a job, but there is no excuse for his behavior. when you have a family you need to man up and do what is right for the family. maybe he thinks he is better than this temp agency.but you should have a calm talk with him. try not to get mad at the guy. even though what he did was wrong you dont want him to get worse. when you talk to him tell him you are more disapointed than angry. it may help. but what he did was wrong.

Answer 8

The only leverage you have is to leave him. You are his support system. As long as you are there for him, he doesn't see the urgency of getting a job. He is immature and selfish. I'm sorry but chances are you will have to support the family or leave him and find someone better. He's a loser.

Answer 9

you need to tell him that if he does not get a job soon then you are going to have to ask him to leave the house at least that way you could get welfare help and then go from there , I mean what in the world was he thinking ,it sounds like he does not want to work and does not bother to find a job . He sounds very lazy . good luck .

Answer 10

do you prefer him to look for jobs and NOT GET any of them?There is no guarante he will land something ever.Do you think he is so skillful and desirable to employers?