my daughter is 13 and now in trouble and we meet with probation in morining. She got mad at me and has now been at her dads for 1 week. He stays at his moms who lives in a 1 bedroom apt and him and my daughter sleep on floor or couch
I live at my moms in a house but i have 1 boy who has his own room and my 2 girls and i share a room. He is behind 68,000.00 in child support, does not work and the only reason she wants to stay with him is that he sets no rules for her and I do. She wont talk to me and he wont either. Neither one of us has custody over her and we were never married. Can probation make her come back to me?
2007-07-25 00:16:02 · 8 answers · asked by nancy m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes they can he doesnt have the proper space for her but she may resent it and run away. good luck its not easy being a mom
2007-07-25 00:20:13 · answer #1 · answered by marianne l 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, there is no such thing as "automatic" custody by the mother just because the parents were never married; the parents either enter into an informal agreement outside of the Court system, or they involve the Court system, establish paternity (which obviously occurred or a child support order would not be in place) and the Court decides which living arrangement is in the best for the child.
From what you have stated above, it is more likely, depending on the charges, that she be placed in a juvenille correction facility or a foster home and likely Social Services will become involved (although this varies depending on where you live).
Social Services goal is usually to reunite the child with at least one of the parents unless there has been severe abuse or neglect and may be able to assist you with finding subsidized housing where you and your daughters have separate bedroom (you would need a minimum of 3 bedroom, one for you, one for you son and one for the girls). If you meet the criteria and your ex does not, Social Services will be more likely to return her to your custody.
2007-07-26 06:48:41 · answer #2 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, since neither of you have been married to each other, you automatically have full custody. Yes, probation can make her come back to you. What your ex should have done was sent her back to you even though she was mad...he is enabling her to run away from problems and issues! Actually, you can call your local police and they can bring the child back to your house, lol! Good Luck! I hope this helps.
2007-07-25 07:28:49 · answer #3 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have to tell you if a client presented me with this situation I would not place your daughter in either household.
You obviously need to get yourself in a stable financial situation if for no other reason than to provide appropriate housing for you and your children. Her father has no business sleeping in the same room with his 13 year daughter!
Then there is the blatant confusion about just who is in charge here. A 13 year goes where her parents tell her and does what they say. It is called being a child. You as the parent need to step up and be one.
Honestly, if you walked into my office today with this story, I would recommend a residential facility for your daughter, where she could learn about rules and discipline, responsibilty and rules. I don't think she has had that opportunity yet.
2007-07-25 07:27:02 · answer #4 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
yes they will probably make her return home to you. You might want to check with an attorney in your state. In Ohio if you have a child out of wedlock-the MOTHER has sole custody of that child until the father petitions the court to establish his rights. He may not have any right to keep her under the law. You can prove to a judge very easily that he is unable to take care of her.
2007-07-25 09:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by stacilynn26 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she will not mind either one of you, she may end up in a group home. Pray this does not happen. Which ever parent she goes to will have to have adequate space and convince the authorities that they will make her mind. She will pretty much have to agree to mind also.
2007-07-29 05:07:23 · answer #6 · answered by bsharpbflatbnatural 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be made a condition of her probation. However I'd expect that she will not stay, and will either go back to her father, and defy probation, or just simply run away.
2007-07-25 07:28:37 · answer #7 · answered by Beau R 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Probation will have the opposite effect to what you're seeking. The only way through this is to talk to her and let her have her say. Listen to what she's saying and with luck you will understand why she's reacting this way.
Good luck
2007-07-25 07:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋