I have a four week old and also a 4 yr old step son. My son was born at 34 weeks and had to stay in the hospital for a short amount of time. When we took my step son to visit his new brother the first thing he did when my husband held the baby was poke his brother in the eye. Then the rest of the weekend he insisted we tote him everywhere and constantly threw fits which is not like him. Were your children jealous of the new addition? How did you go about making them excited vs feeling as though they must fight for attention? This weekend will be the first weekend I have them both alone and want to make everything go as smoothly as possible. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks so much!
2007-07-24 21:31:51 · 7 answers · asked by J&A 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You could take this approach as it worked for us. Tell your older son, that he is a big brother now. Big brothers have lots of responsibilities. They have to teach little brothers everything. Then give him reponsibilities. Example, when your feeding baby he gets the spoons or he gets the high chair. When traveling in the car, he locks little brother in the baby carrier.
It worked for me and my wife when our children where young.
2007-07-25 00:30:13 · answer #1 · answered by mikeae 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My elder was 4 1/2 when the younger is born. In fact he wanted a little brother to play with and thats why we planned for the second. So he was too thrilled to see a brother. Lucky he got a brother too. Not a sister. We dont know what could have been his reactions if that was a baby girl!!! He liked his brother and never allowed any strangers / relatives to touch him. He himself will keep away till we told the young one is fit to touch and play with. First one or say 2 months, he will go out and scream in joy that he has a boy baby (As if he delivered... Hahaha). Both are very good playmates and at times they fight a lot too.
2007-07-24 22:12:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 4 year old son was fine. Never did anything like poke his sister in the eye or anything, but has since gone out of his way to hurt her. It's just a jealousy thing, but you still have to discipline him & try to spend some alone time with him when the baby is asleep. Let him see that you still love him, my son used to think that I didn't love him anymore because I had another baby to take care of.
2007-07-24 21:35:53 · answer #3 · answered by jaytei 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well...were do I start? my three year old was and still is jealous of my 8 month old son and I have found the only way to combat the problem was to include her in every thing it did when it came to the baby. I would get her involved in bathing, Nappie changing and so on. I all so would suggest that you spend some one on one time with your four year old just to reaffirm to him that he is loved and is indeed still a big part of your life. Also I found that by making a big deal out of his new job as a big brother is a job that is four big boys and how the baby will learn many things from him, also get him to sing, tell story's and just get him do to things with his baby brother. good luck and I wish you all the best.
2007-07-24 23:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by ali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing to worry about .Such sibling rivalry is a usual feature even amont blood relations. I feel that when you have a step son it was necessary for you to indoctrinate him about the shape of things to come. Well, it is not late. You can start from now. Try to find some time to revert to the pre-pregnancy days. You might have been spending lots of time with him-reading his story books, bathing him, looking after his clothes.Endeavour to revert to this ,albeit subdued, schedule to make him feel that he is still wanted. Try to associate him to the extent possible in the upbringing of the infant to make him feel that he is responsible as the elder brother to look after him. Enroll him in some playschool where he can have some friends to keep him engaged to lessen his attention to your so-called not caring for him. By and by he will definitely come round.
Yet another word of warning. In case you are pregnant again take case to indocrinate your own child about the expected arrival. Or ,you would have the same problem on your hand. This time with your own, very own child.
2007-07-24 22:00:59 · answer #5 · answered by Prabhakar G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry i can't help. My older child was born 1 minute before her brother. They still get jealous occasionally if i spend more time with one but as long as i say i will have one on one time with them next time they are happy. Try spending some one on one time with your 4 year old so he knows he is still loved
2007-07-24 22:10:00 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she get jealous, she did a lots of funny thing to get more attention, and i just keep quite, let her be, can't spoil her too much.
2007-07-24 21:35:58 · answer #7 · answered by moonrider 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋