under the blue sky,
standing at the street with a smiling face,
that's what i always show you,
and that's what you always seen in me,
the sorrow that's hidden behind me,
the wound that still bleeding,
a thorn stabbed inside so deep,
a pain memory chasing me every second, everyday,
a regret that won't let me go,
i tried to buried,
but there still an ugly scar that can't erase,
i let the tears float,
i reach out my hand,
but i can't catch any hand,
i saw shadow standing beside,
i can only felt grey and cold surrounding me,
im scared, im lost,
i can't yell, and i can't move,
coz im rotten at the ground of hatred and regrets.
2007-07-24 19:28:13 · 20 answers · asked by moonrider 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
correct me if got any wrong word used.
2007-07-24 19:31:23 · update #1
thanks for everyone who rated, i only took 5 minutes to wrote this poem ( actually i don't know can i call this poem or what), so i didn't check my vocabulary or any wrong word been used, but thanks anyway who help in correction.
2007-07-25 16:29:35 · update #2
10 baby
2007-07-24 23:22:07 · answer #1 · answered by tony s 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Under the blue sky,
Standing at the street with a smiling face,
That's what I always show you,
And that's what you always see in me,
The sorrow that's hidden behind me,
The wound that's still bleeding,
A thorn stabbed inside so deep,
A painful memory chasing me every second, everyday,
A regret that won't let me go,
I tried to bury,
But there's still an ugly scar that I can't erase,
I let the tears flow,
I reach out my hand,
But I can't catch any hand,
I saw a shadow standing beside,
I can only feel Grey and cold surrounding me,
I'm scared, I'm lost,
I can't yell, and I can't move,
Cause I'm rotten at the ground of hatred and regrets.
2007-07-25 02:39:18 · answer #2 · answered by aspenkdp2003 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2
2007-07-25 02:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by devoted2him1 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
and that's what you've always seen in me
the wound that is still bleeding
a thorn stabbed inside me so deep
a painful memory chasing me every second of everyday
i tried to bury it
but there is still an ugly scar that i can't erase
i saw a shadow standing beside me
i can only feel grey and cold surrounding me
other than the few spelling mistakes its great. I really like it, you expressed yourself well. Id give you a 9 out of 10
2007-07-25 09:13:12 · answer #4 · answered by eva m 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
2 1/2
2007-07-25 02:48:41 · answer #5 · answered by shim696 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
9
2007-07-25 02:31:18 · answer #6 · answered by Stan the man 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
2 =(
2007-07-25 02:30:52 · answer #7 · answered by Georgia Rose 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It has lots of emotion in it. I feel the pain myself. But honestly I think you could write it a little better. Work with it. I'd give you a 6 1/2 right now. But it has 9 potential.
2007-07-25 02:32:35 · answer #8 · answered by the_syco_t 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
4...Few missing words that ruin the flow. I get a cold emotional feeling but overall imagery is not deep enough. Sounds like the narrator has a passionate hatred for someone...that's what I get (Not an English major or anything).
2007-07-25 02:41:14 · answer #9 · answered by Sonny E 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow... I feel your pain in your words. I hope you do find someone who will hold you hand and help guide you to a safe and happy place.
I give you 9 out of 10.
2007-07-25 06:50:31 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wonderful poem! I give u 10/10
A good way to express onces bad history in life. When I read your poem I remember one poem I wrote, and this poem fits my life so perfectly!.
cheers... Good Day
2007-07-25 03:00:40 · answer #11 · answered by Akar 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋