Hi,
I am very confused lately, I have been in love for about a year, me and my girfriend went out for a month during that time we had sex numerous times, we are both in our 20's, after the first month she had to move out of state, and its been a long year, we have been talking over the phone a lot , she will be coming back here next week or two , but now she says she doesnt want to have a sexual relation anymore and she wants us to date from the begining like we had never had sex or something, she also says she has found God and now would not have sex before marriage, what should I do, I really love her a lot and in the past year I have waited for her honestly she never told me this before, its very hard for me because a couple of months ago we were sharing thoughts on how many times we would make love when she get here, and now she tells me she cannot do it, and now she wants to know if I still love her or respect her.? what about respect for me and my feelings? what should i do ?
2007-07-24 18:57:07 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think of her all the time,she told me that she doesnt love me as the way she should because of the distance,I have dreamed about so many things in future with her which I have mentioned to her,but now she comes with this,dont tell me to dump her because i am really in love with her, I want us to be together and i hope one day i will be able to propose to her,but i m the kind of guy who needs to have his affairs straight before marriage(like a house, good job, stability in life etc.) I m not that religious, but i respect her opinions on religion. its all so confusing ....
2007-07-24 19:23:34 · update #1
respect her... she is right...support her .. u have your entire lives ahead.. if sex is all that u want then move on.. if u want her.. respect her {}
2007-07-24 19:03:06 · answer #1 · answered by who ?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go along with her on this and take the sex part into your own hands until she comes around. Waiting on a woman to be ready is a quality that they respect in a man. You do want her to respect you, don't you? Also, what about your feelings? If you put her feelings before your own. And she puts your feelings before her own. Then you should be able to get past this. Man, everybody goes through a religious time in their life. She'll calm down. Give her time.
2007-07-25 02:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by 12th 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you love her, just try to accept her for what she has become. Respect her & find other ways to communicate your love to her.
Sex is NOT the only thing important in a relationship. In fact, to be able to connect heart to heart is much much better than having sex alone.
Try it out. People do change their mind about life... if it doesn't work out, then you both might have to look for different partners then. Having the same wavelength of thoughts is very important in a relationship.
All the best
2007-07-25 02:03:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is quite interesting, and I find it somewhat odd that someone mystically finds God while away and now refuses to have have any sort of sexual contact...It is pretty obvious that you still care for her, and I can't see how not having sex would make you respect her less....I would just be honest with her about how you feel. I wouldn't try to pressure her into having sex with you, but tell her you are confused as to how this came about, and would really just like to know why if nothing else. On a shady note, she could be using this as an excuse to not sleep with you for whatever reason...I really have no idea, but a sudden finding of Christ is always suspect to me....
2007-07-25 02:05:49 · answer #4 · answered by djbillietee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pardon me? You're the man, the man of your house, the man of your prospective family, you gf from the start should have been respected and you should not have had sex with her. You made the mistake, you don't know what respect means and now you're calling her down for your lack...gee
What should you do? You should date her, everything same as before but without sex. And, maybe it's time you knew God too. She IS considering your feelings.
2007-07-25 02:04:59 · answer #5 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for her...and you. What you need to do is accept her decision. If you truly love her then not having sex should not matter. That is where a relationship built on love or sex will succeed or fail. If you cannot be in a relationship with her because of her becoming pure then you need to tell her and go your own ways. And DO NOT let her give you sex just to keep you around.
2007-07-25 02:08:36 · answer #6 · answered by bobbo342 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really tough one. Sex in marriage is something that's best set up BEFORE you get married. You have to sit down and think about just how much you want her in your future. Ask yourself if marriage is even IN your plans. If it is, how long until the marriage? Then ask yourself if you can go without sex until then. If you start to have sex on the side, you can forget the marriage. So, basically the ball is in your court. Love is one thing, but you can love someone, but not be able to live with them. So, really, it's up to you. How important is SHE in your life and how important is SEX in your life. It's up to you.
2007-07-25 02:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just don't understand a lot of you people. If sex is so important that you would even consider leaving someone you say you love, wtf are you going to do when the lustre of your sex life fades as it most definitely will--have an affair? Get a divorce? You spend less time having sex than almost everything else in a relationship. Yes, it's important, but it's not life and death, although it can certainly kill you. If sex is the number one priority in your life, don't bother having a loving relationship--be a gigolo/sIut for life.
2007-07-25 03:05:14 · answer #8 · answered by vinny_the_hack 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can respect her wishes and go with the flow, or you can get away from her, fast. She has gone round the bend and there isn't much you can do about it.
Tell her you will be happy to marry her when she is ready, but in the meanwhile, you are going to have sex with someone, whether it is her or someone else. Let her make the choice.
2007-07-25 02:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
respect her and what she has decided.. If she wants to do that good for her. I wish her the best of luck, b/c temptation is a hard thing to resist. Very hard... But if you do love her show her you respect her and want the same thing. Things may change later on you never know.. everyday is a new day.
2007-07-25 02:01:10 · answer #10 · answered by bballplayer2408 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to refrain from sex once you have had it. Especially for a man. Why don't you take her up on her idea? Get married and you can have unlimited sex. Perhaps she wants the next sexual encounter with you to lead to having a baby. Have you thought of that?
2007-07-25 02:15:42 · answer #11 · answered by Hani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋