why did this make me angry?

Question

im a 30 year old borderline personality disorderer sufferer, ive endured alot of abuse, victimization, trauma and bullying in my life.....everytime i have to go out its an ordeal because of high levels of anxiety and panic, and trying to control chronic feelings of rage that ive had for a long time to...which i worry about because i never want to lose control......so the pressures on everytime i go out....plus i have paranoid feelings that im being victimised now and the systems against me or people in society....im waiting for therapy.

but whilst i was out yesterday going about my daily buisiness, i was walking along the sidewalk, and some buisiness woman was behind me talking into a mobile phone, and i heard her say '' yeah hes just trying to put a brave face on it''... & i carried on walking feeling angry and confused....i was thinking, was she insinuating anything against me....because she knew i was in earshot to be able to hear what she said..
why did i think this? & how do i

not let things what people say make me confused and angry?.&....interpreting it to be a personal attack on me?

like i was thinking that somehow this woman knew about me and my past, about me personally and was making a personal attack on me through what she said

Answer 1

see a doctor

Answer 2

Because you are suffering from alot of abuse, victimization, trauma and bullying you are feeling this way. I think because you are going through so much and yet you are putting up with the world, you feel offensive when the woman said, " yeah he is trying to put a brave face on it"...
Even though you are going through all this you are trying to be brave. It's a good thing you are waiting therapy. I think they'll help you. I must also say it'll be wise if you see a counselor as well.

Does the woman know you who said that?
You must also realised that. You think this way because you are trying to put up a good/brave face and you are going through alot.

Hope you get the help you need as soon as possible before anything get worst.

Answer 3

I think you've got it all wrong. You need to become comfortable with yourself. If you do that you won't need to worry about interpretting what others say and do. If you don't care about what people think of you and just try to be happy things will fall into place. If you take control of the situations in your life, all the scary feelings from the trauma and bullying will fade away. Stop asking for help from others. Other people can't solve your problems for you only you can. Though the woman with the cell phone wasn't talking about you, you can learn something about yourself from that situation. Think, why did you care? If she's got a problem with you, why should you care? That's her problem and if she judges people like that, she's not worth your time. Good luck with life, man. I hope you learn to take control and write your own future.

Answer 4

It's natural to feel this way after what you've been through and until you receive any treatment/therapy you will continue to feel paranoid and angry. Although people like us, ( as i suffer with very simalar things to you ) like to feel were in control and have everything in place, the truth is, is that were very insecure, fragile people who have nothing in our control. Alot of the paranoid feelings come from jealousy as we would love to be leading normal life. You have to try to tell yourself, this woman you overheard was having a conversation which had nothing to do with you, it was not aimed at you or a personal attack agaisnt you. If possible when you go out, try to just concentrate on what your getting etc. This is a stradegy i use often now, i try not to focus on what other people are doing as i'm there to get what i want and then i'm out. I hope you hear about your therapy soon, good luck.

Answer 5

We all get that way some times, you are putting yourself down. Stop it and go and do some think more positive. Are you hanging around negative people, find new friends that are positive. Look around and see if there self help classes, buy a punching bag and beat the living day lives out of it ,go to anger management classes. My daughter did all that written here and you know what she feels great. But if you seriously don't improve see a doctor. All the best.

Answer 6

Strangers talking into a cell phone should be a sign to you that others have more problems than you do!

The person talking into the cell had no frigging idea who you were or are!!

If you're 30 years old, you should be beyond the bullying stage of school... Go out and be your own self! Go to the grocery store! Just browse the aisles looking at nutrient info.. (be sure your cart is out of the main 'drive')

NOBODY is looking specifically at YOU... Trust me, I couldn't recognize any patron of any Supermarket that I've ever used.

Hugs and good luck to you

Answer 7

Next time you go out to do your business, try focusing on the positive things around you.

Be grateful you have another day, where maybe your not living in IRAQ right now where people are beeing kidnappedand tortured. Be glad you arent starving in Africa, a mother not able to feed her kids.

Be grateful for what you have right now....rather than mad at what your past gave you.
You got through it...you endured.
Now it should be time to apreciate the beautiful things in this world.
And if you have trouble with that..its okay.
Try to do things like going to the beach, or the mountains, or to the oo, or horseback riding.
Or go to the animal shelter and spend the day playing with the caged animals. they willlove your attention.
Or go down to help out at a chidlrens hospital, or maybe an elderlyhome.
Or go hand out food at the nearest homeless shelter.

If you are having problems in your own life and dealing with people, sometimes its good to go out and see how much worse it could be.
And that makes you grateful for what you have now.

But just remember....youve endured through it.
you made it.
Now its all behind you, and now its time for you to learn to see the other side of life..the beautiful side.

Worst case, this will spark the charity side of you, and youll help a few people out, that most people tend to forget.

P.s.
Try his next time you walk out your house.
Make up your mind that youre not going to worry about the little things in life, and tell yourself no one or nothing is going to ruin your focus on what a beautiful day it is.
take a fewpieces of bread or a bag of chips and find some birds to feed.
and watch them for a bit.
And try and rememebr, life is beautiful!!!
Hard at times -- but oh so beautiful!!!

Rule #1 - dont sweat the small stuff
Rule #2 - Its all small stuff as long as your still alive

Answer 8

Well whoever this women was (did you know her?) I'm sure that she wasn't talking about you. Perhaps you should focus less on her and more on what she said what does ' yeah hes just trying to put a brave face on it'' mean to you? How does it make you feel? Was it perhaps not who said it or how she said it but rather something about what she said that reminded you of something painful? Dig deep and do some self reflecting, the answer will come.

Answer 9

the first step in not being crazy is not trying to hold your self up to some type of "normal" thing...? what the **** is normal anyway... try this site out, and if you dont find what you're looking for here, then look for jesus.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-3707.html

there's so many God damned people in the world, and some old un-evolved farts from a long time ago decided what normal was...
work
family
kindness
community

well yea, that worked back in the day because they HAD to work or they would've starved... when's the last time you heard of someone you know starving to death? we have more freedom of thought and freedom to do anything we want and we still put ourselves in these prisons of what we're supposed to do as "normal people" **** THAT! do what you want... i mean, dont kill yourself or someone else... but... not worrying about what other people think is hard to get over... but.. just do it!

Answer 10

You need some expert advice. Maybe some tablets could calm your feelings down and counselling would help a lot. You will feel better if you could talk to an expert about these feelings. Don't be too hard on yourself as you are ill at the moment. Things can get better but it might take medicine to really help at the moment.

Answer 11

You are suffering from good old fashioned paranoia. You should talk to a professional who will prescribe some MAOI inhibitor or other mood altering substance and fix you up. Personally, I prefer to remain paranoid, but thats me. Sanity is simply not interesting. It doesn't keep my attention quite like a psychotic rage or delusions of grandeur.