My husband and I have decided we don't want his parents in our lives or our kids lives any more because they are toxic, negative and hateful (especially towards me). Life is so much better in general except we live in a reasonably small coastal town and every time she sees me shopping with my kids she keeps hanging around until they see her. It's very complicated but we have very genuine reasons for not wanting her around our children. How do I get her to stop approaching us at the shops when we are not even on talking terms and I have already told her to stay out of our lives? The police said there is nothing I can do because she hasn't threatened violence or anything. Any advice on how to get her out of our face without upsetting the children?
2007-07-24 17:38:37 · 11 answers · asked by Kell 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Depending on your reasons for alienating her from the kids, can't she just talk with them at the shops? You don't have to talk to her. It really makes you a bigger person if you allow the children to talk to their grandmother. Good luck.
2007-07-24 17:53:54 · answer #1 · answered by sugarfreekitkat 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If the kids see her in public, I don't see a problem with them saying hello. It doesn't have to be anything long-winded. Just a brief catchup and say you need to be on your way. I actually appreciate the fact that you and your husband can recognize that she is a negative influence on the kids, and make sure that you talk to them about it so they understand why grandma doesn't come over to visit. Maybe not seeing her grandkids will help her to wisen up. You yourself are under no obligation to speak to her if you see her out and about, but if she starts following you around or tries to keep the kids engaged for too long, just up and leave and come back at a different time.
2007-07-24 18:33:45 · answer #2 · answered by dolce 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she is their grandmother.
Please even if she is a great big mother E99ing b>otch let her see them SOMTIMES.
I mean common.
She gave birth to her son & then waited her whole life for kids.
Even though shes stupid she still loves them.
I know you probably don't know this, but maybe there was somthing bag that happened in her life that mad her this way.
She could of gotten it from being around her parents who might of acted like that.
On holidays let the kids see their grandmother.
Can you imagine being a grandmother and not being able to see your granchildren after all your life was dedicated to a child?
In her screwed up mind she can't really see how screwed up she is.
She thinks shes fine, she thinks your the messed up ones.
Since shes mature, you must talk to her.
Don't let her comments get to your head.
K, tell her if she doesn't take advice from a therapist or a counselor then she is not allowed to see the children.
Tell her one certain days she can see them after a fough months with a therapist.
Even people off the jerry springer eventually changed their ways.
Have you ever whatched those crazy shows: nanny 911, maury, Cheaters, or intervention?
All those people have a life and a story.
It's a horror story, but every horror story has eaither a happy or sad ending.
Most end up good boleive it or not,
Just like in each horror story they survive only when they finally get help or realize somthing.
A therapist will help her see some of her screwed up ways from a different point of view.
Common those kids carry her blood line!
They may be angry with you when their older that you didn't get to see their grandmother at all when she was alive.
Try to change their ways!
2007-07-24 17:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by anastasia k 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds better than my dads parents (i would say a few things about her bout im pretty sure i cant say them on here)
one thing don't keep the kids form her forever, if they realize they dont like her then u can keep the kids from her,
u may not get alog but she will love her grandkids
try going at different times to stores than her or go to a different place to shop so you wont have to see her
2007-07-24 18:19:18 · answer #4 · answered by dork4life785 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont shop at the same time or day of the week. Go at a time you are least likely to run into her and dont always go to the same store if possible. Leave kids at home if possible for a month or so til she realizes they arent going to be with you.
2007-07-24 17:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better yet, why not sat down like mature adult and discuss this matter without the kids around. I mean think how you would feel (for whatever reasone) if you could not be around your grandchildren and son/daughter. Think about forgiveness and be a role model of love for your children.
Talk this over.
2007-07-24 17:52:28 · answer #6 · answered by Idon0tknow 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is not much you can do other than move. Just explain to the children that they should not be influenced by anything that grandma and grandpa says. Just be glad that you are there to monitor the discussions.
If possible, once you see them, make a move to get to the door immediately, and return later.
2007-07-24 17:45:09 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the only thing i can think of is to tell her face to face. but since that didnt work then i suggest you move sort of far away from her! and tell ur father in law wats goin on!
2007-07-24 17:42:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to talk to them. Sad to say you either move or shop when you know they don't. I would do my best to move...
2007-07-24 17:42:59 · answer #9 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea move or stop going to places that you know for a fact she goes there thats all you can do for now
2007-07-24 18:45:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋