Ex-Mormons that now are antis (some of you), why do you blame the church for your personal problems?

Question

Don't you think that is a little immature? face your problems and don't blame others for it.

Answer 1

I don't blame the church for my personal problems. Frankly (heh), I don't have many personal problems. I'm doing very nicely for myself now that I have left Mormonism.

What I do have are very angry and disturbing memories of a very troubling childhood, being raised by ultraconservative phsycho Mormon parents that beat us down, sometimes physically, but mostly emotionally and psychologically.

The Mormon religion is why they were this way. Everything they do revolves around MORMONISM. They can't think outside of that. and they forced it on myself and my 6 brothers and sisters. 2 of us have made it out, one is in a Mental home because he couldn't handle the pressure to be perfect, and the other 4 are still living under the dark cloud of LDS Inc. which has severely limited their potential in life.

Edit: Two of the other four: One of them has a business degree yet he works at Walmart. My sisters Husbands, I believe has a business degree, and works at Walgreens.

Things like this - these are why I am so angry. Yes, it's tough to just 'let go'.

Answer 2

I think people in general want a scapegoat. No two people are alike, not mormons, ex-mormons, anti-mormons, catholics, methodists, jehovah's witnesses, etc. So the problems that some face aren't the same that all face. I used to blame the church for my problems. Then I realized I didn't really have any problems, I just felt the need to complain. Now I either try to solve the problems or not let them bother me.

Liesel.

Answer 3

I just don't understand why if I feel sad or upset, it absoultely has to be the Church's "fault".

I had to move away from my home of 18 years a year ago. Where I live now, I have little to no friends, and it's not an exaggeration on my part for me to say that it has been a lonely time for me. But I've seen some people who think that this sadness must absolutely be from the "guilt" I feel for being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Yep. I'm a Mormon, so that must be it. I'm feeling "guilty" and that is why I am sad. Moving halfway across the country away from all my friends had NOTHING to do with it. It's all because I am a Mormon. (sarcasm)

All I can say is this: sadness is a basic human emotion. All of us feel it, whether you are Mormon, Catholic, Atheist, or whatever. We all feel sad sometimes. I don't know why it should be expected of me to be happy.... I'm a human being just like anyone else, not a robot. If I feel sad, I feel sad. That doesn't mean it has anything to do with my religous beliefs.

Answer 4

Wow Cheese and Rice gave such a wonderfully honest answer - thanks for that.

I think that's a good lesson for us LDS parents/parents-to-be to be aware of. I was blessed with some pretty dang cool Mormon parents, and while some of my siblings have left the church they've always kept positive feelings towards the church in general.

What a difference a mom and dad can make!

Answer 5

Princess,

I think it is very important to make this distinction: Not all "antis" have "personal problems." It has been my experience that most people who leave the Church do so not because somebody hurt them, or because they were sinning, but because they found out information about the Church that disqualifies it from the title of "One True Church."

Granted, there are SOME former members that see trends in member behavior that seems to translate into mistreatment by their families. One or two isolated cases can be dismissed as "The Church is perfect, but the members aren't;" however, when you see a particular behavior predominant in one faith and not in others, it begs the question of "Is there a causal relationship here?" In some cases, and with some "personal problems," the Church does indeed need to share some element of responsibility. For instance, when Brigham Young taught blood atonement from the pulpit and advocated it within the leadership of the Church, he needed to accept partial responsibility when faithful regional & local leaders exercised this blood atonement on a passing wagon train from Arkansas. This acceptance never came, and still hasn't come, just as acceptance of other faults will likely never come.

That being said, just because someone has a great distaste for the Church and goes out of his/her way to advocate his/her opinion to others, that does not mean that the person has any personal problems to deal with. It just means that he/she is so passionate about his/her beliefs that he/she wants to share the joy of them with others who have not experienced it yet. It's very similar to what LDS people would call being a "member missionary."

Answer 6

During a time in my life when I was not active in the church, I knew my problems were mine and mine alone. The LDS Church or anyone in it had nothing to do with my choices. Because I could not get baptized until I was 18, I sometimes felt that I was not treated the same as others my age who were members. But the church had nothing to do with it, it was how those few people treated me.

gw

Answer 7

You've once again made an assumption that the church is blameless as an organization. You have not heard or spoken with former church members whose childhood was robbed by their priesthood bearing father, or denied professional help by an ignorant Bishop whose only prescription is "fast and pray". You cannot conceive of the gay member who loves his church so dearly yet knows they cannot ever confess their soul to anyone for fear of disfellowship or excommunication.

The fact is you cannot make a broad state as you did without acknowledging the church has a great deal of influence on anyones behavior, good or bad. Your statement merely underscores my understanding of you as innocent, but now must add ignorant, presumptuous, boastful, simplistic and regretfully, very, very immature.

Answer 8

I have to agree with you! I don't understand why people who have left the church are so against it. I went to a Baptist church for a while and decided it wasn't for me, but I'm not anti-Baptist. I'm not anti any religion. For a short period of time, I blamed the Church for some bad advice I got from a Bishop. It wasn't the Church, it was the person. These people need to realize that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect. The humans running it aren't and will make mistakes. They are not infallable.

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now.

Answer 9

I don't blame the church for my problems, when I was a youth I blamed it for making my parents oober strict, but most of my modern problems aren't caused by the church.

Answer 10

because many of us are scared to even know what will happen after death so we fake to love the church and stuff, but if you dont really mean it then u are a hipocrat! which many of us may be or just realise it. Many antis dont care, but it is torally up to them, no one can force u to love a religion that u just doont care about......blaming god for your SILLY MISTAKES WONT DO ANY GOOD that would only make you a scared rabbit.....and wouldnt make you a man or woman THAT WOULNT MAKE YOU HUMAN ....