am i being an overly possesive/jealous girlfriend not wanting my bf to watch porn?

Question

well my bf and i have been together a year. when we got together he had some porn in his room, but it belonged to his brother. i told him i didn't like porn so he just gave it back. then we were out of town with his bro and his bro's friend. we stayed in a motel and while my bf and i were falling asleep in our bed his bro and friend were in their bed watching hardcore porn (i guess hbo had a weird special at night or something...) any ways my bf turned over for a minute because he heard the "noises" and i told him i didn't want him watching it. so we just went to sleep. he doesn't care if he watches it or not, so it's not an issue that would cause a fight. i was just wondering if i'm too jealous? if i am how do i work on fixing that?

no the porn really was his brothers, his brother and i are friends and his bro told me. i wouldn't put it past his bro, he's the kind of guy tha looks at women as complete objects, so idk why he'd lie about it. his bro "loves titties" as he says

aah i think a lot of u got me wrong. as i said this isn't an issue between me and him. we don't fight about it i just let him know i don't want him watching porn, so he doesn't. it never comes up. as a matter of fact yes we have watched it together before, and i told him i didn't like it so he turned it off and that was the end of it. thanks for all the input so far though

Answer 1

Absolutely NOT girl! i SHARE THE SAME OPINION.....
I feel like it just degrades women and makes a man think about how it feels to be f*cking the girl(s) in the porn.....I mean its common sense! Have you ever seen a sextape/porn? Didnt it at all make , EVEN YOU wonder how much better than you she is/looks? I know im very attractive too, but I think even some of the "hottest" women dont approve of pornwatching....Who ever says its "ok" has little self-respect, because it truly portrays the wrong profile on alot of women, lest, makes alot of men create too high expectations of 'women they will date'. You are strong and im going to give a big fat STAR to your question!!

Answer 2

I don't think that you should be "jealous" - it isn't reality. I think it's funny that the guys can actually convince themselves that this disease-ridden bimbo is really enjoying herself. More realistic is that she is some strung-out junkie who is allowing her body to be violated in every possible way to be able to buy drugs or have the money to do whatever it is she does. Have you seen how disgusting some of those men are?? So, there are a few things going on here - you don't want him watching porn. I think the jealousy is a little weak, but I know I don't like it because it is exploiting & degrading a vulnerable young woman who could be anyone's sister or daughter just so that a bunch of guys can get off while watching her. All you can do is tell him your preference and the rest is up to him. To the people who think it's okay, I don't think any of them have ever had to live in a household with someone addicted to porn (particularly internet porn) - not fun. I hate to tell you this, but the porn was in your boyfriend's room - I'm thinking it was probably his...
Spice things up and get into some fantasy with him - keeping it interesting will help. AND, get your own room next time - sharing with another couple is just not good.

Answer 3

Well, I can see both side's of the argument, I guess the best advice I can give you is to pick your battles. Are there other issues that you care about more that are currently afflicting your relationship? If yes, cope with this - It could probably be considered "bad" but is it as bad as [insert issue here]?
If there aren't other issues, and you think he's willing to not watch porn without a big fight, yeah, try to stop him, but don't pressure him too awfully much, or you're just going to anger him.

The only thing that I consider possessive on your part really is telling him in the hotel "I don't want you watching it, go to bed" [paraphrased]. What are you, his mother? That's almost they way it comes across if you know what I mean.

Just tell him how you feel about it, and that you'd prefer that he didn't.

Answer 4

Yes, you're being jealous. Regardless of who owns it, the porn was there before you entered the picture (so to speak) and he enjoys it. If you don't want to watch it with him then you have that right, but you don't have the right to control what he watches. If you nag him, he'll just hide it from you in the future,and you want him to be honest and forthright with you. Maybe he doesn't care if he watches it and maybe he does, but you aren't his parent or boss. You are, after all his gf.

And that's the bottom line. He wants you, not some Barbie Doll porn star who gets paid for her acting services. You are the one he chose and you are the one he comes to for love and affection. Those porn actors and actresses, they're no more real than Batman or the Fantastic Four.

Remember this about jealousy: it's a Green-eyed Monster that feeds on insecurity. You can keep jealousy at bay if you have confidence in your man that he is true, and that even if one of those porn stars came to him naked on a cold, dark, rainy night when he was out of town and lonesome for you, he'd have nothing to do with her. Jealousy is never good, never. It has no place in a relationship base don trust, forgiveness, humility, humor, acceptance, and love. If you have that, then jealousy will never trouble you again no matter what happens.

Answer 5

It is a matter of opinion, of course. I've been married for 21 years and I still don't like it. I definitely don't think it is abnormal or unusual for him to want to watch it. Sometimes, I find it very disturbing. Particularly when things aren't going well for us in the bedroom. Even though it is definitely not my thing, I have watched it with him when we were on vacation without the kiddos. If he is still acting like he is really 'into you' I wouldn't get too upset. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, ask him not to watch it around you. If he loves you he will respect that. If he watches porn instead of being with you and refuses to stop, you might have a problem. Good luck.

Answer 6

Have a serious conversation and make your wishes known on the subject and then respect that he is an adult and that it is his choice to watch/not watch. You don't have to be happy with him if he does! If he respects you, he will understand your aversion to porn and not watch. Build your relationship on mutual respect. If you try to force your will on him, you risk coming off as controlling. Ask yourself if you want to be his mother or his girlfriend? Do you want him telling you what you can or cannot do?

Answer 7

No you're not being overly possessive or jealous. Sick-O's make these films, poor young naive girls and boys start out acting in these films some on drugs some eventually on drugs and some drugged against their will. Once they are into this, it is not easy for them to get out. Most of them are stuck into a bad situation. There is a reason porn is not legal. It's unhealthy. And eventually creates problems for those who get addicted to watching such filth.

Answer 8

Well, Your question strikes me in many areas, more so than the porno issue, if virtue is your saving grace, then why be in a room over night with all those males? why would there be even the slightest tolerance on your part of such behavior? within sight of you, be it your boyfriend or any other male?

Not wanting your boyfriend to watch porno is nothing you can control, if he is the kind of man who chooses to watch such material and you shame him or brow beat him, he will just become a stasher, so you can choose your boyfriends from one of two boxes, BOX 1 Those who watch porno, more men in that box or BOX 2 Those who dont watch porno. but to think you have the power to take one out of box 1 and put himn in box 2, you dont have that much influence, no one does.

I can tell you this much, You will experience more passion, deeper levels of sexual involvement from men in box 2, I would tell you how I know this to be a fact, but then I would have talk even longer, just take it from Daddy in a BOX, humm how prophetic that is, Just take it from Daddy in a BOXES ? I know.

Good luck on your attempt to turn your Xrated relationship to a R or PG-13 :)

Answer 9

personally i think thats its maybe a fantasy for him... plus i think that it is really sweet and respectful that he doesnt try to push you into watching it or is to overbaring by watching it infront of you ... id say if the issue comes up again just stop and think about it .... hes been respectful about it this long and has not pushed it on you why cant you just let it go once or twice im sure he would be very surprised if you allowed for it ... and you never know if it brings out a whole nother level of him out (lol) but back to the point ... surprise him and maybe youll end up surprising yourself .... ♥

Answer 10

Yes, that's being too jealous. Think about it like this: Which would you rather have him doing - watching porn on TV or going to strip clubs where the women are real and in his face...or his lap? Porn is the safer option.

I worked in a porn store and let me tell you that the more of an issue you make out of it, the more they will seek it. He just won't watch it when you're there is all. Wouldn't you rather have an open, trusting relationship?