Whats wrong with my girlfriend cutting herself?

Question

My girlfriend cuts about every week and every time i tell her i dont want her doing it she says that theres nothing wrong with it and she cant actaully die because of it, and i cant find any reason she shouldn't. Is there a reason why she shouldn't?

Answer 1

It can be hard to understand why people cut themselves on purpose. Cutting is a way some people try to cope with the pain of strong emotions, intense pressure, or upsetting relationship problems. They may be dealing with feelings that seem too difficult to bear, or bad situations they think can't change.

Some people cut because they feel desperate for relief from bad feelings. People who cut may not know better ways to get relief from emotional pain or pressure.


There are other ways to cope with difficulties, even big problems and terrible emotional pain. The help of a mental health professional might be needed for major life troubles. For other tough situations or strong emotions, it can help put things in perspective to talk problems over with parents, other adults, or friends. Believe it or not, getting plenty of exercise can also help put problems in perspective.

But people who cut may not have developed these skills. When emotions don't get expressed in a healthy way, tension can build up — sometimes to a point where it seems almost unbearable. Cutting may be an attempt to relieve that extreme tension. It's a confused way of feeling in control.

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Answer 2

Yes, there is a reason. Cutting is a coping skill - a very poor coping skill. The fact that she's cutting, especially cutting so much, suggests that she's under stress of some sort, and doesn't have positive coping skills to deal with it. She's avoiding something.

And yes, you can die from cutting. Not on purpose, but if the blade slips and hits the right spot with the right pressure, she could find herself in big trouble. It's happened before, it'll happen again, I hope not to her.

Finally, the fact that her cutting upsets you that much would be a good reason for her to stop - if she can. I'm not saying she should live her life around you, but "giving up" something that serves no benefit and also upsets you, that doesn't sound like too great a sacrifice unless her cutting is out of control and she's addicted to it.

If that's the case, actually even if it's not the case, seeing a professional would do her well.

Answer 3

Part of info. from the web site listed below:

"Cutting is damage. By cutting you injure your body. This is not a good thing. Your body is important. It's the only one you've got and it should be taken care of. It would be harder to live a fully happy life with a damaged body, especially if part of that damage you did yourself.

Cutting is abuse. [If you are] a sexual abuse survivor, you've already been subjected to more abuse than anyone should be. Your abusers hurt you, why should you heap more abuse on yourself? You don't deserve that kind of crap.

By cutting yourself, you're buying into an unhealthy behavior pattern that was taught to you when you were a child. What happened to you then was wrong, and perpetuating that behavior pattern now isn't healthy for you either. There may be some security in familiarity, but most people agree that it's not worth the heartache.

Cutting often stems from a desire for control. Take real control of your life and yourself and stop."

Answer 4

Cutting is a bad way of dealing with powerful emotions, and once you start it is very hard to stop. cutting is an addiction, one that hurts not only you but everyone around you. a couple of reasons you shouldnt do it? there is always those nasty infections that she could get. and the scariest one is that when she is cutting herself her cutting tool slips and goes deeper than she wanted. that is very scary, when you dont know if you are going to be able to stop the blood or if you are just going to bleed to death. it is a horrible feeling! the biggest reason is that numbing the pain just makes it worse when you actually have to feel it....

Answer 5

Some people cut themselves, either because they like pain, or even because they dont know what else to do. You cant kill yourself by cutting your arm, the only way to do that is to cut between the bones and hit the main artery. If she just cuts the skin, the worst thing that can happen is it will get infected. I dont know what you can do about it... it's a psychological thing. Hypnotherapy might help, but it is costly.

Answer 6

Is there any reason she shouldn't do heroin as long as she does it responsibly? Cutting is dangerous, period. Even when done superficially (very lightly), it can leave scars. Eventually, she may cut too deep and bleed to death before anyone can get to her. She needs to go to a mental health professional and find out what is causing her to self-mutilate to begin with. She needs therapy and possibly medication.

Answer 7

yes there has to be a reason why she is cutting herself......... she might be going though something that she dont want to talk about with anyone ........ and she cuts just to stop her pain from whatever she is going though.......... but she can die from cutting she could cut 2 deep one day and bleed to death so yeah ................. anyway i think u need to get her some help..... maybe 1st tell her how u feel about it .......... and if that dont work than tell someone u trust or maybe someone in her family
hope that helps

Answer 8

Because it's not normal. There is something festering within her that makes her want to inflict pain on herself. She needs help, before it's too late. Cutting is a sign of some emotional distress.

Answer 9

Yes, she is leaving painful scars on her body. There is a reason why she cuts and it needs to be dealt with. She needs professional help.

Answer 10

What Does and Doesn't Help People Who Self-Injure?

Understanding why people hurt themselves is an important step toward healing. Equally important is understanding the components of good treatment: what works and what doesn't (Miller 1994).

The reactions of family, peers, medical professionals, and others to self-injury have an impact on the self-injurer. Self-injury brings out a variety of feelings in people: shock, frustration, sadness, guilt, revulsion, anger, and fear, to name a few. When facing the physical evidence of the extent of the self-injurer's pain, people often realize their own helplessness in being able to stop the person self-injuring. It is not uncommon for this helplessness to be expressed as frustration and anger.

Shame is an incredibly powerful emotion that will keep the self-injurer feeling negative about their self and their behaviors. Although self-injury is not the most typical behavior, there is nothing shameful about self-injuring. Through self-inflicted injuries they were able to cope and survive. The scars are testimonies to this survival. Shame and secrecy go hand in hand: openness and honesty are the antithesis of shame. The courage it took to survive the difficult time in their lives is something that can be a source of pride (Alderman 1997).

Self-injury exists whether it is talked about or not. Keeping the silence reinforces the sense of shame that many feel about their SI and it maintains the isolation and alienation that can lead to SI. Whether you know what to say or not, letting the self- injurer know that you are willing to talk about SI is one way of providing support. An important factor in being able to provide support to someone who self-injures is being able to regulate your own reactions, keeping any negative and judgmental responses to yourself while providing support, although it is necessary to find a time and place where you can express these responses.

It is important that if a self-injurer makes the decision to stop hurting themselves, they make it for themselves and not for someone else. Stopping is only possible when they are ready and they have developed other ways of coping. While most attempts to force, persuade, or suggest that a person stops self-injuring are based in a genuine desire to help and in caring for the self-injurer, if the self-injurer is not attempting to do so for their self failure is a most likely outcome. The self-injurer may also interpret your attempts for them to stop as being judgmental and demanding. This may serve to make them more secretive and to further break down communication. SI is a way to cope and if the self-injurer had another way to cope at that time most would use it. Trying to get someone to stop self-injuring is more about your needs than theirs.

It is important that medical professionals, doctors in emergency departments; therapists; and other care providers, who give assistance are aware of their own limitations and take steps to increase their awareness, understanding, and education of self-injury. Whether these professionals have feeling of disgust, anger, empathy, fear, frustration, or any other reactive feeling, it is necessary for them to recognize and control these emotions while rendering their care. It is also important that medical professionals are weary of not overreacting. SI is rarely life threatening and seldom requires involuntary hospitalization.

Although some medications are being tried with some success, there is no magic pill for stopping self-harm. Psychotherapy approaches have been and are being developed to help self-harmers learn new coping mechanisms and teach them how to use those techniques instead of self-injury.