How to grow a friendship when you are both struggling?

Question

He says he wants a friend. We have gone out a few times. We have tried to get together several other times - mostly at his instigation. About a month ago, we got into some hugging and kisses on the cheek in my office. He said - I love you. I said - I love you, too. Since then, we've tried to get together. He is genuinely trying but relationship issues are in his way. When I do see him, it is ok between us. But when it comes to calling or going out, he just can't seem get there. In the mean time, I'm hurting because I miss talking to him but I'm trying to be patient and give him space. I'm afraid right now to really sit him down and talk to him about this. It will only make it worse. Where do we go from here? Do I continue to back off and give him space or do I continue to reach out to him and try to build a more solid friendship?

Answer 1

GateKeeper? Cute, Just call me the GateKeeper to Brutal Honesty, now to the question. Quote " I'm afraid right now to really sit him down and talk to him about this. It will only make it worse" When this happens you don't really have a friendship anymore, sorry, that is the bases of a great and wonderful friendship is the ability, the need, to sit down and talk things thru to an end, in a civil and construtive matter. SO NEVER THINK YOU CAN'T TALK TO HIM!!! Geeze thats just a catch-22 you can't get out of which well only led to you guys becoming more and more estrange, which is a play on words understand it means to become strangers, which is whats happening. See the reason that friendship end isn't because two people become lovers, its because they think there in some sort of entirly new relationship, when in fact its just the growth of the old one. Now unless you guys had this problem in the beging which would mean you really never were friends, or this came about because you guys are throwing to much romance (which is the fantasy of love) at each other, and forgoing the reality of the love, which is that you guys are no longer relating your feelings (the love mind you! is feelings) which destroies the relationship, understand that at the center of ANY intense, deep, and meaningful relationship is a friendship, the sex, the romance, the eventual family thats all extra plus to the frienship! So all that complicated mess is saying is that if you can't talk to him then there isn't any relationship... prove me wrong hunnie, GO TALK! Look at the word "Relationship" RELATE-Tionship, so go RELATE your feelings hunnie thats your man there!! And space... screw his space ether this is "true love" (true for you, true for him) or its just love, please don't let it just be love.....