I need some help...please?

Question

I'm raising my 11 year old little sister, she'll be 12 on July 29th. The other day she was playing at a friends house and that friends parents asked her if she'd like to go with them on vacation to London in August and of course she wants to go. That upset me pretty good since they didnt ask me first before they asked her. Now that makes me the bad guy if I say no she cant go. I called the girls parents and they have laid everything out for me (like the details of the trip and stuff). I havent given her or them an answer yet. I told them I'd have to think about it. I'm not sure it's a good idea. She's only gonna be 12 years old and that really far away from home. My grandparents think I should let her go but I'm not so sure. I think she's too young to be that far away from home for 10 days. I'm kind of on the fence on this one and I really am having a hard time making up my mind. What would you do? What do you think?

Answer 1

its a tough one!!
I think you really need to sit down with the firends parents and have a proper discussion tell them your reservations and listen to what they have to say. that will definately help you to make your mind up.
I think if it were me i would let her go but only once i was sure what would be happening while she was there where she was gonna be etc. maybe if she goes you should arrange for set times for her to call you.
good luck in making up your mind either way you will know what is right for her overall!

Answer 2

Well I can't tell you to let her go or tell you to make her stay. But I can tell you from a parents point of view what I would do. The first question is how well do you know the other girls parents. Are they trustworthy, good people, ect. The other question is, is your sister a straight arrow. Is she a good girl. That is really a hard decision to make. Being a mother I am really strict when it comes to my children. But I think I would let them go if I knew the parents really well and I trusted them. Trust is the biggest thing when it comes to raising children. If you do decide to let her go you have to tell the other parents to make sure she calls you everyday...that will help to ease your worries. Set a time to have her call. Find out the time code difference between london and where you are. Set a time. Look at all the facts. Do you trust the people she will be going with, do you trust your sister. Sorry I couldnt be more help to you. Also talk to your sister about how you feel about her going. Your worries and such. It will help her to understand your point of view on the subject if you decide not to let her go...of course she will be upset but deep down talking about it before hand will help her to get over it quicker.

Answer 3

It would very very hard for me to do but I think I'd let her go. You need to get an internary from the girls parents including flights and hotels. Get her a international phone card and tell her she is to call every day no matter the time difference. Buy her her own camera and plenty of film and maybe get yourself a massage while she is gone.
This could be a once in a lifetime opportunity for her and it will do her so much good to experience a different country. I would however discuss with the girls parents that while you apprieciate them taking her to London with them, you don't appreciate the fact that they asked her before speaking to you and that next time, they need to call your first. I would also discuss with them what there rules are as far as the girls going off by themselves whether in the hotel or around town and things like that. That will put your mind at ease a little knowing you are all on the same page.

Answer 4

You have to consider that it's a one in a lifetime chance.
But I'd be very concerned about the parents of the friend. I guess I'll let her go only if I knew the parents and were of a similar mindset than me, etc.
I'd make my point about not talking to you first. Probably you're a lot younger than them but, whether they like it or not, you're in charge of your sister. They should have told you first, period.
The 10 days are not an issue. Kids that age go to camps for longer than that. She'll be with a friend and if she goes to her friend's house often most likely is comfortable with the parents. The parents have a kid of the same age and that's a good sign in many ways.
I'd go meet them and talk about it. Remember to be nice and polite but, over all, that you're responsible for your sister (and make clear to them that you are).
Also, you'll have a lot of paperwork to deal with. I don't know how is it in your place but I guess that, at least, you'll have to sign an authorization of some kind. Don't do a generic one, make it so the parents take responsibility for your sister and put an explicit expire date for the authorization. Better safe than sorry.

Answer 5

MY ANSWER IS EMPHATICALLY NO! The fact that you are asking for help to help you decide means your little guardian angel is giving you doubts as to whether you should let her go. WE ALL HAVE THIS LITTLE FELLOW INSIDE OF US, I CALL, "MY FIRST MIND," but few of us listen this little guy, although it is said THAT WHEN IN DOUBT, FOLLOW YOUR FIRST MIND.

Sure, this is a great opportunity, BUT THIS GREAT OPORTUNITY MAY COME AGAIN WHEN SHE IS OLDER and it is SAFER...and IF it doesn't, her missing it won't kill her, whereas, if she goes and something happens YOU WILL NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF AND YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO FORGIVE YOUR GRANDPARENTS FOR ENCOURAGING YOU.

The parents that offerred to take her, ALREADY HAVE SHOWN to be irresponsible by not consulting you first.

WHAT ABOUT THE LITTLE GIRL MADELINE, still not found all because the parents...HER OWN PARENTS, thought it was okay to go out and leave her alone.

IF YOU COULD GO ALONG, THAT WOULD BE FINE AND DANDY! You are more to her than a sister now; YOU ARE HER MOTHER!

LISTEN TO Your inner voice,WHO gave you your answer when YOU SAID "she's too young to be that far away from home!" LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE WHO, IN SPITE OF WHAT YOUR grandparents think, YOUR INNER VOICES IS SAYING, "I'm not so sure. I think she's too young to be that far away from home."

GOD DIDN'T FORGET ANYTHING when it comes to helping us. HE FIXED it SO WHEN WE DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER, THE ANSWER COMES from within when we listen. Sometimes we don't listen because our inner voice is not always saying what we want to hear AND THAT IS WHY we get into trouble, but IF IT IS SAYING WHAT WE WANT TO HEAR,well........you KNOW what to do.

be blessed

Answer 6

I would only let her go if you trusted this family and know all the details of things, like someone else said are they going to be supervised at all times or be wandering by themselves.
I would sit down with them and discuss this and the fact that you would have them rather talk to you about this first before menting it to the girl.
This is a once in a lifetime type of trip for most so it is something that you want to weigh carefully, but you need to make your decsion from resources that you have and with your own judgement. Don't just send her becasue she will be upset with you as she will get over it.

I would make sure she has calling cards and so forth . I also would recommend doing background checks on the people just becasue we thnk the people next door are good people that isn't alwyas the case anymore. you can usually get a background check for about 25.00-40.00. This is really cheap to learn the safety of our children with whom we leave our kids with.
Good luck , hope everything works out for you.

Answer 7

I wouldn't automatically think that they were being sneaky, first of all. I invite my neice places all the time, and after I find out she wants to go, I talk to her mother. It may have been an impulsive thing to invite her along, so they just asked first and decided to figured out the details later.
As far as the trip, I think its fabulous. Even though she'll be away from you, she won't be unsupervised. If you know the girl's parents well, you can feel comfortable putting her in their care. Make sure you know what hotels they plan on staying at, where they plan to go. Make sure you talk to her during the trip. Get her a calling card.

Answer 8

Consider how well you know this family. Do they care for their child in a manner you approve of? Do they share your values and expectations for your sister? Will she have adequate supervision?

Why are they inviting her to go? It might be so that their child has a same-age companion, which is often more fun for kids. But is it so they can leave the girls to entertain each other while the parents go off on their own?

Maybe you could go along too.

Answer 9

I think if you really trust her firends parents and make it clear that you expect a phone call daily... let her go... you never know when she'll get that kind of experience again. It sounds like fun. I went on vacation with my best friends family all the time. We never went across the ocean but I had a blast with her. I would say it depends on how well you know this family and how much you trust that she'll be taken care of.

Answer 10

I think as long as you know the parents are responsible enough to take care of her I would let her go. It is such great experience! Plus it would probably make her year.
Its not often that one gets a trip to London, especialy if its with a good friend her age. I think thats great...as long as you have faith that the parents will take good care of her.