Married women in the Military?

Question

Why does almost everyone think that when a married woman joins the Air force (or any military branch) that there is a certain definite there will be a divorce. I am joining the Air Force in January and I am happily married, but I keep hearing people say it wont last. Why do people say that? I don't get it.....

My husband is prior Air Force and he supports my decision......

also we don't have any kids, just me and him

Answer 1

because the military life can be very stressful no matter what branch you join you will be sometimes more obligated to your job than you are to your home with working late canceling weekends with the family because you have to work and deployments or being send away from home to another duty station because you are needed

the military has the highest divorce rate in the country

it can be hard to handle i am married to a solider and we too were married before he even joined we have spent 1.5 years apart and have been married for 3 it takes a really really patient and understanding and Strong person to be married to the a solider rather male or female and some just cant understand no matter how hard they try too and it ends terribly

Answer 2

It's because many relationships can't survive when the people are apart for long periods of time. A lot of couples don't have the skills to keep things in perspective. Being apart tends to bring out any issues that are already present in the relationship, like trust and resentment. It's easier if you and your husband will always be living together, but things such as long periods of training and overseas deployments can make small problems seem like big ones when you're far from each other. At times like these, you will also be around a lot of people, some of whom you will probably find attractive, and so will he. Some people can resist temptation, some people can't. If you deploy, you might not come back as the same person you were when you left. It's different for everyone.

Answer 3

Don't worry about it. I am active duty Army and I am married. As member of the Armed Services, I have had to make plenty of sacrifices,and some of them have been hard to make. My husband also being prior service, so he has been nothing but my greatest supporter. Any marriage takes work, and if you both are willing to do what ever you can to make it work then you will have no problem with the military or any thing life will throw at you. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I wish you luck and hope that you truly have a long and happy marriage. The only way to do that is to be aware of the challenges that you face as well as maintain good communications relationship with your spouse. People are telling you the doom scenario, because of the statistics, but remember that statistics are only a game of averages and odds, it does not have to be reality for you.

Some men may have a hard time adjusting to being the one that has to change jobs and pack up and move when their wife has a PCS move. Some succumb to the childish ridicule of being called a "military wife" and feel emasculated. Sometimes, the wife joins the military because the marriage isn't in such good shape to start with. Whatever the reasons, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A PART OF THAT STATISTIC!

Thing's not to do:
Don't refer to your husband as a stay at home "mom"; Don't act condescending to him because you have a career that he quit (for whatever reason); Don't act like everything is OK, if its not. That only allows the problems to compound and eventually erupt into a much uglier situation. Things to Do Include: Make him feel appreciated as a man; Let him know how much you appreciate his support of your decision; Understand if he needs to vent his frustrations. Good Luck in your Military Service and Marriage and thanks for serving our country!

Answer 5

Probably because of distance. When you go into basic training you will be away from your husband and people think there will be temptation. As a woman in the armed forces, who is happily married, I think you and your husband will be fine. After all distance makes the heart grow fonder and eventually you will be near each other! Take care and good luck!

Answer 6

Statistics, plain and simple. I would say it's even worse if a husband stays home. Although, it's not definate. My wife is in the Army and she is gone a lot. I don't cheat on her but many men do cheat on their wives whether or not they're in the military. If you check out the articles by Ms Vicki at www.fortcampbellcourier.com you will see how common it is.
My advise is to have your husband be extremely busy in something constructive while you're away. Also, write as many letters as possible and encourage him to do the same.
I hope this helps. Do you have any children? I think this helps a little. I am home busy with our three-year old.
Good luck and God bless you and YOUR HUSBAND for your sacrifice. As an Army husband, there aren't many resources available to me. (Although there are lots of Army wive's clubs).
Oh well,
Take care and good luck.

Answer 7

Not everyone thinks that. My husband is in the Air Force and there are a lot of married women in with successful marriages. Only you know how strong your marriage is, so it doesn't matter what other people say.

Answer 8

Maybe those are the ones that actually served....
It's almost like the Vegas commercial, except it goes like this
"What happens in Korea, Stay's in Korea"

13 yrs active, 4 tours on the ROK, 5 1/2 years with the Golden Knights (TDY 290 days a year)

Answer 9

My hubby is in the military. I dont think it matters which one (husband or wife) is in the military, it is a struggle to keep the relationship where it needs to be with deployments, training, etc. I struggle everyday with whether or not the loneliness & pain I feel is worth staying with my husband. I personally feel like I he is "married to the army" instead of me, and that he is part of something that I am not. But, I do love my husband and I will keep on supporting him as long as he feels like it is his duty to keep serving our country, but I will be the first to tell you that is extremely difficult.

Answer 10

They have no clue what they are talking about. If he supports your decision then do not worry he will be there waiting for you. Most who probably say that could not trust their husbands for a long period of time like that. I would just ignore the jealous women or men who say this ONLY you know what your marriage can take and can not take.

GOOD LUCK hope you succeed.