my grandmother passed away and left her wedding ring with my father to give me when i got married. i want to reset the stones and mostly want it for sentimental reasons. my BF asked me if i wanted my own ring and i said no. but my very controlling father is saying he doesnt want to give it to me bf. he isnt too fond of him and for no good reason. he doesnt like anyone... i told my mother that my father has no say. my grandmother left it to me and just because my father is holding it doesnt mean he makes the decision. it was already made...
the ring is going to me anyway... its not like my bf is wearing it.
my father for some reason thinks my bf is getting a free ride...
whats your opinion? my mother wasnt supposed to tell me this, but she did.... so i cant say anything.
2007-07-24 09:30:31 · 15 answers · asked by coco 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i want the ring though for the sentiment. it was her wedding ring and i want it to be mine, i was very close to her and was her caregiver when she passed. my bf is still going to have to reset it and buy me my band... why wouldnt my father be happy about us saving some money if we could and using it for a house?
2007-07-24 09:44:19 · update #1
I think I know where your fathers coming from...We are all little girls in our fathers eyes...Have your fiance buy you an engagement ring...I'm sure your father is just wanting to make sure you are going to be taken care of after (like we can't do it on our own now :) ) Suggest to your father that you want the ring to wear on your right finger to remember your grandmother....it might be hard for him to give it up because it was his mothers.... Good luck
2007-07-24 09:37:55 · answer #1 · answered by Frznoooo_Sam 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What if your boyfriend gets you a nice ring that isn't a wedding ring? Then you can simply tell your father you'd like to hold the same traditions with your children as your grandmother did regardless of marriage. Just an heirloom to pass down to future generations. Then he may see where your grandmother's sentiment came from. If he does give you the ring, you can still wear both rings on different hands.
2007-07-24 16:41:59 · answer #2 · answered by blue_dragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the ring is yours and I would suspect be given to you at some point- if not now- so it's probably not like someone else is going to take it. I am not taking your dad's side entirely but maybe he has a point. Why shouldn't your bf get you a ring on his own? Maybe your dad just wants to see that he can make this gesture. If you are to be married, it is the least he can do, a simple gold wedding band is all that is needed really. Maybe your grandmother intended for you to have the ring as a wedding gift, not your actual wedding ring. It's old tradition but the guy should buy the ring. Your grandmother's gift is for you to enjoy, not to be a substitute for what your bf is supposed to do. Just my opinion.
2007-07-24 16:38:08 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Tooth 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If the ring has such sentimental value why are you going to destory the setting and put the stones in a new one? That defeats the purpose. Why not have it resized? I would never dream of destorying my mom's ring like that.
Sorry but it's your dad's choice whether or not to give you the ring...if he doesn't like your bf you need to talk to your bf and your dad about getting some sort of relationship together. explain that they will both be in your lives for a very long time and need to get along for your sake if nothing else.
2007-07-24 17:09:06 · answer #4 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all if she willed it to you he cannot legally keep it. If she didn't then you will have to play hardball. Tell him you are getting married - with or without her ring. And if it is without her ring he doesn't have to bother showing up to the wedding and can forget being a grandfather ever. That'll make him move his butt. And if it doesn't he does not belong in your life anyway.
2007-07-24 20:48:18 · answer #5 · answered by JM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she didn't leave it in writing then you are screwed and you will have to just be mad at your dad forever or forget about the ring. But if she did, or said it in front of other witnesses other than you and your dad, then he has no choice. It is your ring and if he doesn't give it to you it is stealing. That's just making it very clear.
2007-07-24 16:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by mommyoftwo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did she leave it to you in a will? If she did he legally has to give it to you. Otherwise you're going to have a fight on your hands. You may have to give him some kind of ultimatum to get it. But a father who really loves his daughter shouldn't fight her. My father wasn't too happy about my bf (at first) but he was always very supportive.
2007-07-24 16:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by Samantha B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just remember your daddy little girl.
And it your dad mother who give you the ring.
your dad doesn't have to give to him. He give him on your wedding day.
My friend husband give the wedding ring to her on her wedding.
I think your boyfriend should do the old fashion way and ask your dad for permission to get hand of marriage from your dad,
and try to have your dad and your boyfriend spend some time.
before i got marry. My husband spend a lot of time with my family like taking out for dinner, go out for birthday.
I get to spend time with my husband family too when they came to visit. They have except him for his culture and personally.
It just remember it your dad. He wanted you to marry someone that can take care of you.
Just make your dad understand.
2007-07-24 17:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by babyg 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think your father is being cold and mean. I think you should have the ring. If he wont give it then, that is that, unless as someone suggested you steal it.
2007-07-28 13:40:15 · answer #9 · answered by mamatucker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your gram had a written will stating that you are to get the rings, you aren't getting them now and maybe not in the future.
2007-07-24 17:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋