Why is my mother sabotaging my life!?!?

Question

THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS QUESTION!
I just graduated from college and I am trying to find a job. I have applied to more than 50 jobs and it is getting very tiring and I was starting to feel like a real failure. I just found out that my mother has been sabotaging my chances of getting hired to some great companies because she has been giving bad recommendations. I used to work with her in the family bussiness and she TOLD me to use her as a reference so that my employeers could see that I have job experiance. She has been discouraging them from hiring me, one even fired me once they talked to her. I found out by accident when I over heard her talking to one of my possible employers on the phone.... She does not know that I know this and she is still telling me to put her phone number and information down as a professional reference like she is trying to help me.

She does not have a job, has several higher educational degrees. When I meet people she tells them bad things about me

I live with her and have no other family so I can even leave until I find a job!

Answer 1

This is so outrageous it almost sounds like a joke. But I'll assume this is serious. If this is indeed true, your mother is not only psychotic but what she is doing might even be illegal. I would consult with an attorney and see if you got anything on her for slander. At the very least, you should cut all contact with this woman until she gets some intensive psychological help. She is damaged goods. Don't let her bring you down with her. Also, common sense, don't use her as a reference ever again.

Answer 2

Perhaps your mother doesn't want you to work for anyone else other than the family business. If that's so....she's very selfish.

The first thing that I would do if I were you would get different recommedations or references.. Ask an instructor from college if he or she could be used as a reference.

Your mother sounds a little mean. But you have to forgive her and prove her wrong. YOU WILL FIND A JOB. You just have to keep faith in yourself. You didn't spend all of those years in college to take a job at Micky D's (hope not).

You're on a mission. Stay focused and never give. up. Good luck.

I agree wholeheartedly with the nurse just above me.

I agree with Rabyddog (below) too, Just NEVER put a joke on your resume...you're doing business. Unless you're looking for a job as a comedian...save the jokes (until after you're hired.)

Answer 3

As a recent college grad, you don't need to cite work experience.

If you want to show that you've had _some_ previous work experience, just say something like "I worked at a few temporary seasonal jobs during the summer and the holidays, but nothing specifically related to this job, so I didn't think it was worth noting on my resume." Maybe finish it off with a joke about "If you need me to scoop ice cream, or run a cash register, I've had lots of experience with THAT!" (or something like that).

Answer 4

I have no idea why a mother could be so cruel to her own child, but it does happen. Maybe she is just jealous of you when she should actually be proud, there are some sick people out there and honestly she sounds like one of them. Do not put her on the list EVER again. I would confront her on it and find out why she is doing this to you!!!! This question just pisses me off...... Good luck

Answer 5

Maybe she is just giving them her honest opinion. Stop putting her down as a reference, and once you find a job (hang in there - it's tough right out of college), do well and prove her wrong. Don't give her any reason to say bad things about you. I'm sure she's not just trying to sabotage you for the fun of it. When she says bad things about you, it reflects poorly on her, so she's not doing it out of spite, but out of honesty and maybe frustration.

Answer 6

I think that you need to have a talk with her. Find out why she is doing that. You must be disappointed, confused, angry, etc. Do you think that she has a logical reason, or is she "confused."? You should obviously stop using her as a reference. Is there another family member who could be a reference?

Answer 7

Don't use her as a recommendation, and just break off contact with her a little. Keep your personal life away from her, and be more indapendant of her. Go out there and live your life, but tell her to leave your employers alone!

Answer 8

stop using your mum as a reference if she is still doing this. tell your mum you also know what she has done, then she might give a reason/explanation of why she wants to do this to you. people should never work with family because it usually turns out bad.

Answer 9

I would definitely tell your mom you know about her betrayal, and I would urge you to tell her to get some professional psychological help, then I would remove her from your resume, I would write to every single company that she spoke to informing them of the discovery of severe mental illness in your mother, and would they give your resume further consideration based on your other references. From now on, sad as it is, you cannot trust her any further than you can pick her up and throw her. She is one sick twisted person.

Answer 10

sounds like your mom has esteem issues. you have the opportunity to be better than she was in her heyday and she's jealous. don't put her down for a reference anymore or have another family member be your reference. once she see's you succeed, maybe make comments like, "gee mom, guess I got YOUR brains" or "I couldn't have done this without you, we're successful together - What a team!" Maybe then she'll settle down.