why did these answers upset me?

Question

I was invited to my friends wedding reception pot luck and so I asked on yahoo answers what I should bring to the pot luck. I am a very giving person and am happy to do this. Even if it means I just pop something frozen in the microwave, I will do it for my friend because it's her speaceal day. I'm happy for her. Well, some of the answers I recieved from people were very negetive. A few people said that it was rude of my friend to have a pot luck wedding because a guest shouldn't have to bring anything and that she should DELAY her speacal day rather than ask for a pot luck. My friend is getting married and people are dwelling on the "negetive." You usually bring the bride and groom a gift anyways. Why not food for their wedding if they can't afford it. I asked the question so oviousely I didn't mind. Now I'm upset because these answers put me in a bad mood. Maybe they're really religous people and they can't wait if you know what I mean. Gosh!

this isn't Beaverly Hills California, this is Albany Oregon. People are so poor. My friend is a recoverying drug addict clean and sober for 2 years now. She deserves this.

this isn't Beaverly Hills California, this is Albany Oregon. People are so poor. My friend is a recoverying drug addict clean and sober for 2 years now. She deserves this.

Answer 1

i suppose it is because here in America, we go by the rule that weddings are to host guests, they should not provide their own food.

besides, if your friend wants to have a potluck, you should ask what she wants to have there. you don't want there to be 15 mash potato dishes.

Answer 2

You just have to ignore these people. There are way too many on this site that always have to give their negative opinion of someones ideas. I think if they don't have anything nice to say they should just skip the question. Although in most communities having a pot luck for a wedding reception is considered rude and inappropriate, there are many communities where it is perfectly acceptable. Most of the bride's who do this are either from small towns or are inviting only really close friends and family and know they will not be offended. I suggest if there is some dish you make that your friend really likes or one that is your masterpiece that you take it. I have a couple of dishes I make that my family loves and no one else can make it the way I do even following my recipe, so I am always asked to bring one of those dishes. I think that's the best thing to do.

Answer 3

I did not see your first question, but I have read some of the responses to this one. I will say that here in the rural south, potluck receptions are pretty common. Not only is it economical, but it is a way for the community and family to support the new couple. So it's certainly not unheard of!

It really doesn't need much orchestration to make sure you don't have 15 dishes of mashed potatoes. Most people bring their "famous" dish, it isn't too likely that everyone will make the same thing. If that worries you (or the bride) then put someone in charge of gently finding out what people are bringing.

Yahoo Answers is just a microcosm of the real world. There are all sorts here, some jerks, some super-nice folks, bible thumpers, anarchists, idiots, every one is represented. So use the advice that you find to be helpful, and discard the rest. Good luck to your friend in her wedding.

Answer 4

Some of the people on here are just rude!!!

I think that it has a lot to do with the fact that you can't see who they are. I think it would be much different if you were in their faces asking them questions. No weddings are exactly identical; if this is the way your friend chooses to have her reception and the people she invites doesn't mind doing this then don't worry about what people on the internet say. They tend to go above and beyond the question at hand which in your case was "what should I bring" not "what do you think of it".

Answer 5

I didn't see your first question (and the answers it got) yet. People just like to stir things up on here sometimes. And some people just have to be negative. I would just try to ignore the obviously mean/negative answers.

I think a potluck is a neat idea. We all have a special dish that we love to make and that always gets rave reviews. Just think- the bride is going to have all those yummy dishes all in one place! YUM!

Make whatever is "your" dish. Or ask the bride what she wants you to bring. That way she has a good variety.

If you really want to play it safe and bring the most helpful dish, personally, I'd bring a pasta dish and a green salad. Both are easy and inexpensive to make. :)

I went to a wedding a few years back. They had it partially catered. The main/hot dishes were provided. When you RSVP'd the mother of the bride called you and asked if you would provide a side dish. And she provided the bowl/dish for it. I thought it was a great idea!

Answer 6

I understand your concerns, and you have a right to rant! Yahoo answers is supposed to be a place that you can receive serious, helpful answers to your questions, and it seems that so many people on here are using it as a place to rant, be rude, or force their opinions on others. My feelings are, if you can't say anything nice, don't answer the question, but some people feel they have the right to be derogatory and judgmental about people who have different ideas and traditions. And, heaven forbid someone misspell a word or use incorrect grammar, the vultures come out in full force to eat you alive! I guess there are faults with every good idea, and those types of people are the fault with Yahoo answers, maybe they are just out to get the points or strike a nerve. My advise would be to blow them off, don't let them get to you, and hopefully, you got a good idea from someone who answered your question! Best wishes, and don't let it discourage you from using Answers, that would be very sad if a few people ruined the experience for everyone.

Answer 7

You just ignore thos silly people who gave you those responses. I have been to several potluck weddings, and here in Montana is it pretty common. I have never been to a sit down reception, nor do I actually know anyone who has been around here.
To your previous question though, I think you should ask around to see what others are bringing, or ask the bride (or whoever runs the show). A few other ideas: a relish tray, a case of champagne, homemade beans and weenies (I'm sure many would consider that a big wedding no no, but for common people, it works), a spinach dip filled bread bowl, italian wedding soup, or some special family recipe would be nice.

You take a deep breath and forget about the ritzy "gotta do it by the book people" and you enjoy your friends wedding!!!

Answer 8

People have set ideas of what they think weddings should be, and though "it's your day, do what you want" is offered as advice here quite often, some things really get people in an uproar, like potluck weddings. I personally am not crazy about that idea, but if that is what the couple wants and her crowd is ok with this, then really, what is the harm?

As far as what to bring, may I suggest a big green salad? Everytime I go to a potluck, people always tend to bring these yummy dishes that tend to feature cheese, etc, and nobody brings the lighter stuff people like me really appreciate!

Answer 9

People have very set views on what a wedding should or should not be, they do not take into account financial/cultural differences, I totally agree with you that if someone is your friend (your TRUE friend) then they would help out however they can to make their friend's day special. Don't be down about it, be happy for your friend, and be happy that you are in a position where you can help to make her day memorable. Some people are just grumpy and sticklers for tradition, a true friend is flexible rather than insistent that everything has to be a certain way.

Answer 10

i am currently planning a wedding and have been horrified at what the simplest things cost. if you put 'wedding' in front of anything, the price trebles. if anyone has a problem bringing food to the wedding then they are not a true friend. you are clearly a true friend.
all the negative people on here are probably bored, have no life, are insecure and like to put others down. forget them. also, they have no concept of the cost of planning a wedding.
everyone always likes a potato salad - very easy to make, easy to transport. i hope you and the happy couple have a wonderful day.
by the way - all the negative ratings on the comments by people who have said supportive things to you - forget them too. there are too many bitter people in the world - you be happy. :0)

Answer 11

I hate when you ask a question and all you get are negative comments back. I think that whatever you want to do at your wedding is fine. If your friend wants to have a pot luck than by all means go for it. There is no rule that says a wedding has to be a certain way. It is her wedding. Just have fun!!!