Can they take my kids away from me if...?

Question

I am the dad with domicile custody of my 2 kids. They live with me. My ex-wife gets them every other weekend. She has 3 warrants out for her arrest. She is living out of a tent with her boyfriend in some ones backyard and sometimes a motel.

A policeman (a friend of mine) told me they could possibly take my kids away from me if they know I am letting the kids go with her. For the reasons above. Now the custody order says she gets the kids every other weekend.

Do I keep the kids with me and go against the order, or Do I let them go with her? Can they take my kids away from me if I let them go?

I am representing myself, I have already been awarded domicile custody. I cannot afford a lawyer. She has not been paying her child support payments, Legal aid will not help me. I know if she decides to call the police if I do not let her have the kids, she will be arrested because of the warrants.

Any help on what to do, Or what you would do in my situation?

Thanks for your help.

Answer 1

You are not responsible for her behavior. Your children should not be visiting her and her boyfriend when they don't even have a home to visit.

You need to do what is in the best interest of your children.

Answer 2

Ok, so i see u are in a difficult situation... i will give u my advice....

I don't think that u should let your kids go see her anymore. Now i don't know your relationship with the mother, but, to keep yourself out of trouble for this action, u could call DCF ( department of children and families) and tell them the situation and advise them that u are in fear for the safety of your children. And that it is not a stable enviroment for them. Now i am pretty sure when the judge awarded her visitation she was not living in a tent. So, u can keep the kids from going over there and but if she calls the police u risk spending a night in jail, although they could also tell her that it is a civil matter and she will have to file paperwork to hold u contempt of court. But with the warrants she has, she might want to call the police, so u could possibly have the upper hand there. In the long run, u will not be in trouble for keeping the 2 of your kids from visiting their mother, especially when u bring up the reasoning in court. The judge will side with u. To better your case against her, if possible, take pictures of her living quarters for proof. She might be able to scheme something up and lie about where she is staying. So make sure u do that. If u can try and get her, the kids, or her belongings in the photo so u can prove that it is indeed hers. In the meantime, go to the courthouse and file paperwork to hold her in contempt of court for not paying her childsupport ( if it was a court order)

But whatever u decide to do, i hope u don't let your kids go see her anymore until she can get her life straightened out.

I hope i was of some help. It is a difficult decision to make, cause either way u got there are pros and cons.

I wish u the best!

Answer 3

I'm not a pro, so I don't know the real "legal" answer. All I know is that all those kids have is YOU to keep them safe. Are they safe if they go with their mother? If the answer is No, then you need to find a way to get back to court and get that order changed.

Other than that, I cannot say whether or not you should listen to your cop friend, because I have no way to know what he basis that theory on. In my opinion, if there is a court order stating that the mother gets her kids every other weekend, then that is how it goes, even if she neglects to pay her child support. That is another thing you have to take to court.

I know the law sucks. It is supposed to be in place to protect families, but in some instances seems to put children in danger, and creating stress for the custodial parent, while mostly protecting the parent who isn't doing what they are supposed to be doing.

I send my prayers out to you and your children and hope in some way that this can be resolved once in for all. By the way, congratulations on stepping up to make sure your kids have the best life possible...

Lori

Answer 4

Here is the crappy thign about legal questions, it varies from state to state.

Your policeman friend is somewhat kinda sorta not really correct, but he shoudl have told you the whole story rather than get your freaked out.

If you go against the order, you stand the chance that you find yourself on the wrong end of the law yourself. Thought about letting her see the kids, but in a supervised situation? Your house? Where is she taking them when she has them? The tent? A motel? There has to be someplace you can get help from, you don't need a lawyer to represent you necessarily, what you need is advice on how to move forward.

I would first get her arrested on the warrants, that gives you breathing room to sort everything else out.

Answer 5

I am not a lawyer but I am a mother, and I don't think they can't take away your kids from you, but If the kid's lives are in danger every time they go with their mom it is your obligation to go to court and ask what you should do to stop visitation rights because of the circumstances you just mentioned, although If they are not in any danger and the kids haven't complained when they go visit their mom...PLEASE don't make this into a bigger issue. For the child support payments call a Child Support Enforcement Agency and they will deal with this.
Your kids need their mom too, and you have no idea what damage it causes to kids when their parents battle for custody or visitation, don't let anger and jealousy take over you, if you have a clear mind and a kind heart and are mature enough you can deal with the problems easier and your kids will grow up healthier and happy.

Answer 6

I know this is a difficult situation you are in and I know you want to do the right thing. I am to assume that the court order was put in place before she was living out of a tent. No judge would issue visiting rights to someone who lived in a tent. My advice would be to get that part of the order revised by going to the courts. Explain to them that you don't feel it is a safe environment for your kids at this time and if she has warrants out for her arrest, I can't see the judge going in her favour. Let them know you want to do the right thing and letting the kids go with her while she is in this situation is not in the best interest of the kids. Let them know when she gets herself together and proves stability, than you will do what you can for the kids to see their mom. You can represent yourself. You know the situation better than any lawyer.

Answer 7

First of all, custody and child support are 2 different issues. They don't care if she is paying, but if it is court ordered that she see the children you have to let them go. If you do not let them go, you will get one warning of being in contempt. With the second time of not letting them go, you will be arrested. Without you having proof of neglect, drug abuse or child abuse (meaning photos, tapes etc.) you cannot keep the children from their mother. If she has a place for them to sleep, you have to let them go. The childsupport issue, the only answer I can give you is to petition the courts for an "order to show cause" which is when they will set a hearing for her to come in and show just cause of why she is not paying. But like I said, these are two seperate cases. You need to contact your local Friend of the Court office and ask them. They will give you free information on what to do, they have to......that's there job!! Good luck, and way to stand up and be a man, taking care of your kids.

Answer 8

No matter what your Policeman friend thinks or says, I would say to FOLLOW THE COURT ORDER. If it says she gets the kids every weekend, then THAT'S WHAT IT IS. Also, NO i don't think they will take the kids away from you. As long as your following the court order, then you will be o.k. If you find that your kids were in danger or being hurt while in custody of their mom over the weekend, then what you do is report it to the court & let the judge deal with it. Just b/c your friend is a "Policeman", it does not mean he knows "everything". Follow your court orders.

Answer 9

I am so sorry for your situation...and i don't your children ages but being a single mom with children...if i were in that situation and my ex was living in a tent custody order or no custody order i would refuse to let my children go! Let her call the police...do you think the police will let her have custody of children while living in a tent? ask your friend who is the policeman what the law will do....call social services and see if they can help you...good luck

Answer 10

As a parent this is what I would do.
I would not allow her to KEEP the children on the weekends. I don't know how reasonable or even sensible your ex-wife is in the first place for wanting to keep the children with her current conditions, but try to explain to her that she can't keep the kids because her lifestyle is unhealthy. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't allow her to spend time with them, taking them out to the moveis..etc, she may be dysfunctional, but she is still their mother, as long as she isn't doing anything physically abusive, I would allow her to see them as often as necessary, until she gets her act together. However, if you think that she won't agree to the terms you can take it to court. You should be able to go to the clerks' office and explain the situation, they should be able to assist you in filing paperwork to amend her keeping them, and you won't need an attorney for that.
As their physical guardian you do have that right to do what is in their best interest. If she calls the police and gets herslef in trouble...that's on her, she is an adult, and should have the sense to know better. You have to worry about your kids.
Hopefully though she will be understanding. I have to tell you...I think your kind of gullible, if I were in your ex-wife's situation, and my ex-husband found out...there is no way in hell he would allow me to keep our child. I think that most people in that situations would do their best to keep her away.
Just call your county courthouse and find out what can be done, it shouldn't cost you anything...to get advice from this on what to file if she isn't cooperative.

Answer 11

You need to go back to court and get full custody of your children. Call Child Services and let them know how your ex wife is living and that she is supposed to get your daughter every other weekend. Let them know you do not think it is safe and that she has not been paying child support. Also call your local police station to let them know. I would not let my child go if their father was living like this ( matter of fact my children do not see their Father because of things like this) If she is living out of a tent more than likely she is not going to fight you on it cause she does not have the money. I would not let her have them over night. Make arrangements if you want her to see them were they are supervised. If you have full custody it is your place to keep your child safe.