Husband left us for another woman. He eventually decided to see them and now has them half the time.
My 4 year old and 6 year old keep asking me, in this order?
Do you love Daddy?
Do you like Daddy?
Is Daddy your friend?
The true answer to all is no.
What would you say?
Thanks.
2007-07-24 06:15:44 · 10 answers · asked by tiaburkeangry 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
He will always be your Daddy and I will always be grateful that he brought you kids into my life. I might not love him, but Daddy and I both love you.
2007-07-24 06:18:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
I don't recommend this often, but: lie, lie, lie, lie, and lie. It is not acceptable to express negative things about their father as a person.
Parents must nurture and respect their children. That respect means it is usually a bad idea to lie to children. However, the nurture sometimes is more important.
Tell them that you love him. They're 4 and 6: they should think Daddy poops gold bricks! Sit them down and say something like, "You've been asking a lot of questions about Daddy and me; I want to talk about that. You see, Daddy and I love each other very much. A long time ago, he and I fell in love with each other. We decided to have you two, and that was the best thing that ever happened to us. Because of this, we are very special friends. Like all friends, we share something. For us, we share you two! We aren't the kind of friends we used to be, but the important part for both of us is that we love you two more than anything."
If they ask about you and him being mad at or disliking each other, respond the same sort of way. Tell them that neither one of you are glad when things are that way, but that you both love the kids, make that out to be the point.
That's my impulse, at least. I don't know if I would have bought that when I was six.
2007-07-24 19:44:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I loved your daddy very much, and I'm glad I did love him because it was through my love for him that I got you two kids...and you're the best things that have ever happened to me."
"Sometimes I like what Daddy does and sometimes I don't. That's normal in all relationships. Sometimes I don't like what you do, right? But I will always love you and I will always be your mom and I will always help you out whenever you need it."
"Sometimes, it's really hard to be a person's friend when they do something that you don't like. (Use examples of the kids' playmates if you have one.) Right now, I am having trouble thinking about your daddy as being a friend. But I want you to know that I am trying to do the right thing. You don't have to be friends with everybody, but you do have to be polite to everybody, and that's what I am trying to be with Daddy. Maybe someday, Daddy and I can be friends, but it's really hard for me right now."
2007-07-24 13:34:57 · answer #3 · answered by sparki777 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be honest with them. Just because Mommy and Daddy are not friends anymore doesn't mean that they don't love the kids. Just let them know that they can depend on their parents for anything even though Mommy and Daddy shouldn't be together.
2007-07-24 13:19:56 · answer #4 · answered by theflynnmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Do you love Daddy?"
I used to love daddy, when we got married to each other. We started having different ideas about what kind of things we wanted to do to be happy, though and decided to stop being married so that we could each find someone new to love who had the same ideas about being happy that we had
"Do you like Daddy?"
I like that he's a nice daddy to you. I like how he makes you feel happy when you are with him.
"Is Daddy your friend?"
We are not friends who play with each other anymore. But, we are still both working together to take care of both of you. And, we try to be friendly to each other, to make that nicer for everyone.
2007-07-24 13:28:56 · answer #5 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell them that he is their Daddy and all that is important is that Daddy loves them. They really aren't old enough to understand at this point, anyway. I think a mature 7 year old would get it though.
2007-07-24 13:20:06 · answer #6 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love that your daddy gave me you. I like that we can agree that we love you JUST AS MUCH even though him and I are not living together. Daddy and I are going to remain friends because we need to communicate about your needs. :)
2007-07-24 13:22:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would tell them that you dont love daddy but the two of you are friends because you both love them very much .
2007-07-24 13:23:53 · answer #8 · answered by lydiajw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them that the only thing that matters is that they know you love them and their daddy loves them. same thing happened to my mother, but I was 8... it helped that she constantly reminded us that what happened between her and my father had nothing to do with us. good luck!
2007-07-24 13:25:30 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah (the bear!) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them that you care about their dad very much, but it just didn't work out. Tell them it's not anyones fault. Lie to them because it's not fair for them to get drug in the middle of this situation. They would feel bad if you let them know even the slightest truth about it and believe me when they get older they'll respect you highly for being so strong and smooth about it. I feel for you because I know thats hard to do, but it's best for the kids if you remain cool and level headed. I would want to kill that bastard myself, but just don't show it!
2007-07-24 13:27:10 · answer #10 · answered by Amber 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋