I would never cheat on her or lie to her, but I broke our trust in another way. Some things happened and I doubted her and checked up on her by reading one of her e-mails between her and an ex. She immediately went from believing I was "the one" and we were gonna live "happily ever after" to "I betrayed her" ( by doubting her word ) and she does not know if she can ever trust me again. Please help, any honest ideas appreciated, just weeks ago we were both so sure that this was the best love ever and that we were meant to be. We are 40 and 42 so this is not puppy love or some other kind of not thought through relationship. Thanks in advance . . .
2007-07-24 06:12:56 · 8 answers · asked by Viking Brethren 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You two need to seek therapy.
The mere fact that you checked up on her says that you have some misgivings about trusting her. Not a good start.
Work together, and ask her what she wants from you to prove yourself.
2007-07-24 06:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by Michael H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not agree that you have committed a terrible crime against her. It's not such a huge betrayal. You are human, and she is angry. Explaining & apologizing are in order, clear and humble and sincere:
"I'm so sorry. It was dumb. I were anxious about losing you, and I read your private stuff. I'm so sorry. I would hate it if anyone did it to me. I won't do it again. What can I do to make it up to you?"
Also, don't panic. She's pissed off, and she seems to use "epic" language to describe her feelings (happy ever after vs. betrayal). Life is both simpler & more complicated than that. It's not a fairy tale, either way, and you've both lived long enough to know it.
Give her some time to get over being mad and to remember what a sweetheart you are.
2007-07-24 06:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by onewonders01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh please. What was she hiding? After all, what if you found something contrary to the relationship, then what? Either way it sounds both of you are scared, because you read her emails and now she is using the issue of trust to keep her distance. At ages 40 and 42, anyone is capable of anything including trust and forgiveness. Give her time, it will work out.
2007-07-24 06:22:36 · answer #3 · answered by spencer4571 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may have been testing you, your trust in her and she caught you some how. Sounds like YOU dont trust her. Damage is done and its difficult to explain how to patch it up between you 2. Without knowing what was exchanged in the e-mail I cant say for sure what course for you to take. Do you trust her????
2007-07-24 06:25:11 · answer #4 · answered by Jerry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's jerking you around and over-reacting.
Sounds like she's covering something up. You should read the rest of the emails.
2007-07-24 06:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
she shouldn't be angry, she should freely let you read anything in her inbox no matter whom it is from, if she's that angry she must have been trying to hide it or something..she needs to grow up it seems even if she is in her 40's that is nothing to be angry about
2007-07-24 06:20:24 · answer #6 · answered by lil_play_boy_bunny 1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
PERSONALY I DONT REALLY CARE BOUT WORDS I VALUE MOST ACCTION SO SHOW HER THAT YOU ARE SORRY AND THAT YOU TRUST
2007-07-24 06:17:07 · answer #7 · answered by juvenilja13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CHANGE
2007-07-24 06:18:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋