How can you still be friends with someone that you're still into and have feelings for?

Question

I was dating this guy for a couple of months, things were going great. We had a lot in common, good conversations, and very attracted to each other. We talked on Friday and planned on meeting up on Saturday evening, then just when I was ready to call him, he left an IM message stating that right now he doesn't really have time for a relationship, for he is going to be taking his sons to live with him until their mother gets her life and living situation straightened out. We conversated a little bit online and he was stating that he still wants to be friends, to talk and keep in touch and things could change with the situation, he just doesn't know when, but if and when it does, he would have time to pursue a relationship. I told him that it's difficult to be friends with someone you really like in a more than friend way, for you could also get to know that person better and like them even more, but know there isn't going to be a relationship in the meantime.

The more I would talk to him, the more I would want to see him, and I know that's just not going to happen. Then on Sunday night, he messaged me asking how my weekend was and saying he wished he could have seen me, then wrote talk to you soon with a kiss emotion at the end. What should I do in this situation? Just have no more contact with him? Or remain in contact with him when he initiates? Tell him I'd still like to see him whenever possible, knowing it's not going to be anything serious? Or what? Or should I suggest to do something with him and his kids? I'm really confused and need some good advice.

Answer 1

First things first.

He ended the relationship by a text message? Your conversations are online? That should tell you a lot right there.

Secondly, if he needs time to take car of his kids, you have to respect that. I can appreciate the fact that his priorities are definitely in the right place.

My best advice is to give him the space to do the things he needs to do, offer to help in any way you can and most importantly, be patient.

Answer 2

You love him. But he cannot give promise right now. He just feel it is not fare for you to listen to his problem or be there when he has time to talk to. That is why he is breaking away. Tell him that, whenever he need a breath, come out and have dinner. The guy has to eat sometime. So see him than.
Good relationship take time to build. If not, any guy can be with you, right? So just find common time together and work it out.

Answer 3

If you really do like this guy, then you will respect his wishes...
He could be testing your friendship...

Men come a dime a dozen, but a true friend will last a lifetime...

Get to know this man as a friend first and if the opportunity present itself for you guys to have a relationship, you guys will know...

But if you can not understand his point of view of everything, then it's best for you not to continue having conversations with him

Answer 4

Well, if you really are into him like you say you are, be patient and be there in his life. If you step out now, that will prove to him you are being selfish, and right now can be your opportunity to be closer and support him through all this. If you don't want to deal with a man that has old baggage, then maybe you should step out of his life for good.

Answer 5

i'm doing that right now. the only way i can handle it is to love him more than want him. love as in wishing for his happiness whether it includes me or not. it takes effort, but i'd rather be his friend than lose touch entirely. i do know that the feelings will pass in time, i just have to hold on and then the pain will be gone and we really will be friends. good luck.

Answer 6

maybe you can put your feelings for him in another way? Like for example, I've liked this one guy for a while but even though I make moves that obviously say "I really really like you" he still blows me off! I just put my feelings of love for him aside and I treat him more like a long lost friend every time we meet up, get him in a comfort zone with me, you know?... Now I know its not as serious as your relationship with your guy, but still, I find it to be close.... I honestly suggest that you should really make him feel more comfortable around you....... Maybe make him rethink the whole line of telling you "I just want us to be friends.". Get into a bubble of complete and total comfort with him so he thinks, my relationship is so much more than friendship with this lady!....... I hope I helped, sorta!

Answer 7

wow....but the question here dear.....are u willing to wait??? any how yes ur right its hard to be friend esp to a person that u know that u guys had something before...unless that feelings is gone totally.

any how dear we need to respect his decision....plus its not good if you push yourself to him....it will just make the situation worst.

anyways this is all up to you....my advice ask yourself WHAT KINDA RELATIONSHIP DO U REALLY WANNA HAVE AND LET IT HAPPEN!!!!

GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

You can't.

I didn't read the rest of your question, just the title, but you can't. No matter how you do it you can't.

Maybe after a few years it could work but not immediatley after a relationship has ended.

Answer 9

Drop him, unless you can change your feeling. Continue this communication will make you feel more attached and build up some expectation while it's different for him because he has his son and his wife. So what do you want is important not what he wants.

Answer 10

Let the man go> He wants to straiten up his life with the mother of his children. You have to respect him for that. Let him go his way, you should be enjoying life and seeking other.