Right now I am stuck in a very difficult situation. The more I think about it the more confuse I get. Well that is why I have turned to yahoo answers again for help. I trust this place and the opinions I get especially from my contacts. The situation is as follows:
My father in law came to my husband when we were in the middle of the move and said to him the following.
F: Why am I not returning your moms phone call. Your mom left her a message twice and she didn't return the phone call. It seems like that I am blaming her for my son's sickness. Just a brief background , my son got really sick after we came from my mother in laws house last week. She didn't tell us anything that she was sick. We took him to the doctor and the doctor confirmed that the type of viral infection he got comes from another person and not from the environment. Well my husband called his mom after 2 3 days and calmly informed them thatour son is sick and tha we took him to the doctors and he said he might wo
2007-07-24 05:52:25 · 8 answers · asked by c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
would have got it when we came over last time. My father in law came over the very day and casually I also told him that I am very busy these days and that the move and my son's sickness is adding a toll on me. Please note that my mother in law called me on wednesday and left me a voice mail in the morning when I was not available. When I came home my husband picked up the phone and returned the call right away as I was busy. In the evening my father in law came to see his grand son and I did tell him that I had a very busy day and that it is getting very hard on me. He knew the whole situation. On Monday I did talk to my mother in law and inquired about her health and also told her the same thing that the move is getting bit hectiv for me. My son was not sick by then. Now When she called me on thursday my husband attended a phone. A she called me at 9:00 at night when I have clearly mentioned to her that I am putting my baby to bed. My husband helped me out and he takes the phone call
2007-07-24 05:56:28 · update #1
Well on Friday my father in law was very mad that why I didn't return his wife 2 phone calls. According to my father in law his wife was feeling very guilty as she thinks that she made the baby sick.When my husband called her she was more angry than upset. My husband tried to explain the situation but she didn't listen and said yellingly that I call and pick up every ones phone and I don't even pick up her phone. She wants to talk to me face to face. She slammed the phone on her son. My husband got really mad at her mom in 10 years and called her and gave her his peace of mind. I was not there as I went to my mom's place to get some proper rest. My father in law came after an hour and calmly spoke to his son. His son explained everything to him that what his mom did to me and all the false promises she has made so far and never completed any. Because of that the anger has built up in me. His dad calmly listed to the whole situation and then said that after the guests are gone in a week
2007-07-24 06:01:55 · update #2
we'll sit down and discuss all the issues.
I dunno what to say to her. Knowing my MIL she will never ever accept her fault. I honesty felt like that all the problems that have been created is because of her and I personally have no problem. She told me her self to always pick up the phone when I feel like it and now she herself is forgetting what she said. Why I call other girls of the family cuz they are of my age. I wanted to look her straight in her eyes and say that what ever the doctor told us we told you.
I amn ot sure if I should say all this or no. Should I just keep quite and say I don't have a problem. What should I do.
Help
2007-07-24 06:04:40 · update #3
Should I tell them especially my MIL that she makes me feel miserable. My husband politley already told my FIL abou everything and how it started.
2007-07-24 07:14:27 · update #4
please take time to answer this for me.
thanks
2007-07-24 09:20:04 · update #5
Your son caught a virus - one of many in his lifetime. It's not that important where it came from.
The only responsibility you have to your in-laws is to be polite to them.
2007-07-24 06:09:36 · answer #1 · answered by toota956 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hi Honey,
First and foremost, stay calm and cool ya, remember to breathe in and out slowly wherever you meet some stress moment. With a clear mind, you sort out thing better.
Let get yourself out of your current role, look at it as an outsider, what did you see?. You got a supporting and lovely husband, you got a beautiful baby boy, you got quite an understanding FIL, you got a great mom n family, so the only one left is your MIL. Then look at the issue, just because of not picking up phone calls, so much chaos arise, isn't it a childish act that is so uncall for?? I understand your stress.
Let study your MIL, she can be quite possessive, to her she lost her son to you, so in a sense she wanted to take both in under her care, she must have feel so sorry for making her grandson sick, deep inside her, she feel guilty, she must have love him very much that she do not know how to react to it, and on the way, you are so busy that you missed her calls, it is a misunderstanding.
Some old folks behave childish, so i guess your MIL is going in that direction, but alway think on the right side of things, she mean no harm ya, she loves you all, it just that her approach is wrong. She feels so left out and lonely, she loves her son so much that she is willing to give it to you as her most trusted DIL, put yourself into her role, and see the feeling of it. One day your handsome son is going to marry someone too, you be prepare to loose him and be a MIL.
In the meantime, dun be stubborn, give her a call, bring that love back to the family, we must respect the old peoples, even they are in the wrong, we can tell them politely. Tell me, how long can old peoples live??, give them a blessing.
On the other hand, I am not saying that you should listen to them, just call once a while, say hello to them. Relation with MIL is never going to be easy, most DIL have problem with it, I understand the difficulties, however rather than to seek conflict that will haunt you for a long term, why not seek compromising solution, consultation approach and built a good relationship out of it. You happy, they happy, husband happy, son happy and I will be damn proud and happy for you.
Learn to understand old people, their behavior is quite abnormal after going thru life of pursuing this and that, what they like most is being consulted, they love respect of other, try to consult them on matter even you know the solution, they have lots of wisdom in them, but also lots of rubbish, just take the good wisdom and thanks them gratefully, I guarantee, in no time, you be the best DIL in town in the view of your in-laws.
As for moving, take it easy girl, take a step at a time, do not put all things into one, just do the thing that is needed first then follow by others, plan and set priority, discuss plan with family so that they know what you are doing. Nobody llike to be home alone ya. I know moving is a damn big headache. You have my blessing.
Hey! start yr breathing exercise ya
2007-07-24 22:36:58 · answer #2 · answered by butterfly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it is a very touchy problem. You could tell her what is going on but you know what. tell me that you didnt return her calls cause why? You know that you could have talked to her abit but actually you didn't want to period. and i realize it. i have been in the same situation. I didn't care too much for the inlaws to begin with and when they make waves well its even harder. so therefore i am sure you feel the same way. he at least stood up for you. well so be it. Now you hae to decide do you want to tell her your side and hope she listens? you knw this is going to be endless and i mean when she sees you will fight she will do the same or just lay low and be queit and just be careful what you say its hard one to judge and deal with sorry its your turn.
2007-07-28 13:00:15 · answer #3 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in laws hate the other side of the family so ignore what is being said and move forward with your husband and son....remember they dont pay your bills..and everyone has an opinion about something that you feel you are doing right but they feel that there way is right..
2007-07-24 13:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by $martA$$.com 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
children get sick that common that why you should have a regular check up for them with your doctor always. as your in law there are part of your life ones you get marriage .get use to it but best talk with them if have time . there a saying experience is knowledge and they have a lot of experience in life . one can tap on this experience by asking them communication is important
2007-07-24 13:21:25 · answer #5 · answered by kungfupeter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well kids get sick not matter how well you try and protect them...its just a part of life...and in-laws come in to our lives just so we can be thankful we don't live with them haha. better just grow up and get use to them...just grin and bear it..grin and bear it...that makes you the more mature but don't let them ruin your marriage..
2007-07-24 12:59:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them their dramatic behavior and inconsideration and over use of the phone is making you sick.
2007-07-24 13:00:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry after reading all that, i slept like 5 times its long, so what did you post again.......
2007-07-28 04:36:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋