Do working moms get the short end of the stick....?

Question

or do SAHM's get it?

Answer 1

Well if by the 'short end of the stick' you mean guilt, missing out on milestones, letting someone else raise your child, more guilt, then definately working moms do. But not every mother can afford to stay home with the kids, and they should be commended (not made to feel guilty) about providing for their family.

Answer 2

I'm 16 and I have a single, full time working mother, from my experience I don't think that working moms get the short end of the stick so much as their kids do. Obviously we would be on food stamps and living in at my grandma's if my mom didn't work her *** off at her endlessly frustrating job every day, bringing work home and not having a real vacation since I was an infant(Disney world is not a vacation for parents), but sometimes I really wish that my mom only worked part time-- her job and the stress it brings her has caused problems in our relationship. My best friend Rebecca has a stay at home mom, and honestly I cannot say that she feels any better about her situation than my mom does hers; while my mom misses time with me while she is doing even more office work at home, rebecca's mom does somtimes miss her former job--not all SAHMs do though. I guess what I am trying to say is that neither side always gets the seots(short-end of the stick), because neither group is completely the same-- some working moms have stay at home husbands so they come home and just spend time with their family, some are single parents and their love life suffers and maybe their relationship with their kids; some SAHMs are completely satisfied playing the very traditional role, and others think it the biggest mistake they made quitting their job. Basically, either gets the seots if they are unhappy on the side they have chosen; there are drawbacks and perks to both sides depending on how you look at it.

Answer 3

I think there's pros/cons in being a SAHM/Working MOM... A SAHM's work is NEVER done and a working mom misses milestones and events to help support her family.. I'm a SAHM and I choose to work in the evening so I can still take care of my family and help with the bills... Besides, I need a break from the kids for my sanity ! I don't think it should be a competition. Both are difficult in their own ways..

Answer 4

Why does it have to be a competition between the two? I have been on both sides, a working mom and now a stay at home mom and you know what...they BOTH get the short end of the stick at times. As a working mom I would have to stay up all night with my baby and then go to work and then come home and clean and cook , do laundry and do it all over again and as a stay at home mom I have to stay up all night and take care of my baby and children all day and clean and cook, do laundry every single day. I give total respect to working mothers because I know how hard they work but I also give total respect to SAHMs because I know how hard THEY work too! I think its silly to compare the two, we are ALL just women trying to do the best we can to raise good children and I wish more moms could bond over that fact and not focus on whose better that who.

Answer 5

It depends completely on both parents. How much the load is balanced whatever kind of work you do. Plus what you actually do when youre staying at home, some have trainers and nannies even when they do that. Some also have a television as a nanny.

Cookie had an interesting article this month, on how even when women work, then if they can afford help, how they still manage the daycare, and housecleaners, and the effect that has on feminism and the advancement of women since most housecleaners and day care providers are women.

Answer 6

My wife is a SAHM and she works harder than I do. I think SAHM get the short end of the stick because I hear allot of people say they don't do anything. Whoever says that stay at home moms don't do anything should try it for just one month I bet they change their opinion.

Answer 7

Well I have been on both ends of the spectrum. When married I was a stay at home mom, now divorced, I am a single working mom. By far, single working moms have it the worst, financially speaking, and with not being able to spend enough quality time with their child. Both are hard, but doing it alone is the worst!

Answer 8

im a sahm i would say we get the short end of the stick here but others might be diffrent it depends

Answer 9

First of all, stay-at-home moms ARE working, and it's insulting to them to suggest otherwise.

I work outside the home...and inside the home. My husband is a stay-at-home dad right now because I happen to have skills that are more marketable than his. He runs a business out of our home, doing most of his work evenings, nights and weekends.

Work-out-of-home moms get the short end of the stick at work. We are scrutinized for every bit of time off we take. We don't get the promotions or raises that our co-workers who are dads or childless women get. We lose respect when we have children, while men gain respect when their wives have children.

We also get the short end from schools, who prefer the involvement of stay-at-home mothers. And we basically lose our friendships because there is only enough time in the day -- you work all day and then focus on your kids when you get home and on your spouse after the kids go to bed. Very little time for any other relationships, and you have to give your parents, siblings and in-laws the priority.

We always feel torn between our responsibilities at home and our responsibilities at work. A business trip is an excruciating juggling act, at least for those of us who really want to be parenting our kids, and especially for those of us whose husbands also work full time outside the home. And after we work 40 hours or whatever, we have to cram in all our other duties at home, such as housework, shopping, helping kids with homework and stuff like that. In my case, the kids take total priority until their bedtime, and so I give up an hour or two of sleep every night to catch up on laundry, housework, etc. I don't have any of the hobbies I used to have because I don't have time, and I can't remember the last time I had a favorite TV program because I don't have time to watch TV or read or anything like that.

Stay-at-home mothers also get the short end of the stick. For example, by not being classified as "working" when they are making the most difficult and most important job in the world their full-time occupation. People treat them like (a) they sit around doing nothing all day, (b) they might as well babysit your kids since they're already home, whether or not they have the time and desire to do so, (c) like they've lost their brains somewhere in the process of becoming stay-at-home mothers and (d) like their lives are incredibly boring and pointless. That's just not fair to them at all.

Honestly, if I could be a stay-at-home mother, I would. It's not economically feasible for our family right now, and I'm totally cool with my husband being the stay-at-home dad. I know that my task of providing an income and benefits to my family is important, so I don't feel bad about the fact that I work. (We're still shopping in thrift stores and not taking vacations because we don't have the $$ for it, but at least we have a roof over our heads, healthy food and decent clothing.)

All this to say, both kinds of mothers take it in the shorts...and probably always will as long as we live in a society that looks down on mothers, parenting, and children in general.

Answer 10

I would say working moms because they hardly get to see their children at all except when the kids are asleep because they work all the time and the kids are stuck in day care before school and after school.