Do you think this is good?

Question

This is a letter for applying to a job. I need you to correct grammar and vocabulary as soon as possible, please.

July 24, 2007
Quito - Ecuador

The Manager
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have just graduated from La Salle Educational Unit from Ibarra in Sciences specialized in Physics and Mathematics. I am very interested in working for you, I am prepared to contribute with my efforts and to be a part of your human team.
I attach my full resume with the respective supporting documents. From that I would like to highlight my acknowledgement about computers and languages, as well as my prizes and contests.
I wait for news from you if you would like to have me for a personal interview. I send you on this opportunity a cordial greet.

Sincerely yours,


Rodrigo Erazo Jiménez
C. C.: 172275853 - 7

Answer 1

Hi there!

Yes, it is quite good. I would suggest some changes to it, though:

* having specialised in Physics and Mathematics.
* v. interested in working for you and I am prepared
* knowledge would be used rather than acknowledgement, the latter of which is more like 'reconocimiento' and does not make sense here.
* The last sentence would be better formulated as: I wait for news from you, and would be delighted if you would interview me personally. I send you my most cordial greetings.

I hope that this was of some assistance.

Best wishes,

C.s.

Answer 2

Dear Sir or Madam,

I have recently graduated in sciences from La Salle Educational Unit in Ibarra, specializing in physics and mathematics. I am very interested in working for you: I am eager to work hard and to be a member of your team.

I attach my full resume with the relevant supporting documents, from which I would particularly like to draw your attention to my knowledge of computer systems and languages, as well as the prizes and contests that I have won
.
I hope you will give me an opportunity to have a personal interview with you and look forward to hearing from you in order to progress my application.

Sincerely yours,
R.

Oye Rodrigo, muy bien escrito, pero he hecho unos pequeños cambios. A couple of other things:
You do not say what job or what type of job you are looking for.
Try to obtain the name of the personnel manager / human resources director rather than writing 'Dear Sir or Madam'. You obviously have computer skills and this information is usually available on the company's websire under 'careers'.

¡Buena suerte!

Answer 3

No its not good, its a full translation but in English its completely wrong. You also write like you are begging for work, no confidence in your knowledge. Unfortunately I dont have the time to correct you but there are many sites you can look.
For example:http://www.bestcoverletters.com/cover-letters/Sales-Marketing
You can search the google and you will find more.
good luck