My ex-husband came to my daughter's birthday party on Saturday and I noticed that she refused to call him "Dad." We have been divorced since she was 3(she is now 6) and he has been almost non exsitent in her and her brother's life until now. She has no problems calling her step father "Dad" at anytime even in front of her father.
I corrected her several times during the party and tried to get her to call him "Dad" but she still never did.
Should I leave it alone or talk with her more about it?
2007-07-24 05:02:22 · 10 answers · asked by ? 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I was raised by my GRANDMOTHER! I was not raised in a traditional home with both or even one of my parents, so DO NOT tell me I have no idea what she is going through!!!! That is why I asked this question!
My mother and I still don't have a relationship. My father and I did not have a good one until after my daughter was born and we now have a very good one.
2007-07-24 05:29:24 · update #1
It sounds like your daughter might think of her step father as more of the "dad" in her life since he's been a more permanent role model for her. It's hard for kids that young (age 3-6) to understand all that goes on and then to sort it out. Adult issues aren't kid issues and we need to remember that. I would first ask your daughter why she doesn't want to call her dad "Dad". Ask her what she'd prefer to call him and why. Perhaps she does have a valid reason (6y/o reason isn't adult reason keep that in mind) Why do you want her to call him dad? Explain that to her. For us it's a matter of respect. We just don't allow our daughter to call us by first names. I would imagine that it might have hurt dad's feelings. If he asks you might explain to him what her reasoning is right now and that you are working on it but that patience and understanding are going to be the best solution. Honestly, dad might need to be around more to reinforce his role in your daughters life. She might come around to wanting to call him dad if he acts like one. Don't talk it to death or stress yourself out though. Giving it too much attention will have the reverse affect. Good luck!
2007-07-24 06:47:29 · answer #1 · answered by chatterbugg72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think children are capable of loving several people. I am remarried, and my daughter calls her step father "dad". Same reason, the bio one isn't around. I wouldn't correct her at all. And don't worry about the ex's feelings. He had an opportunity to make sure he was a known part of her life. If he has an issue with it, sit with him and your daughter and talk about it. If not....let it go.
2007-07-24 16:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by lesmodee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, do not force the issue. Her biological father blew his chance to be "dad" by not being active in her life. Count your blessings that she has a "dad" in your new husband, Usually it is a difficult situation for a child to accept the new hubby. Just refer to the bio dad by his first name, don't confuse the child. She will make the decision for herself when she is ready. I remarried when my son was 2 ( I had custody) he started on his own, calling my wife mommy. To this day, she IS his mom. He referred ro his bio mom, who had very little to do with him, by her first name. It worked very well for all of us. Even at 6, your daughter knows who loves her. Good for both of you.
2007-07-24 12:15:15 · answer #3 · answered by randy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is the way she feels and you shouldn't try to change her mind.
Obviously, she feels more comfortable with the step-father then her biological father.
My step-father was an idiot, so I never had the confusion as a kid.
If it starts to get the best of you, ask her why she feels this way and when she gives you her answer - you may understand on an entirely new level.
2007-07-24 12:11:34 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have three that had to transition from one "father figure to another". They each chose after awhile what to call each one. The name "Dad" is probably closer to your child's ideas of what a Dad is, than another name. She could call her biological father another name other than Dad. She will in time figure out what that name will be by how much effort he puts into the relationship.
2007-07-24 12:14:55 · answer #5 · answered by Patches 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey leave it alone. Your kids are smart and they know who is going to be there for them and it sounds to me that your daughter is not afraid to stand up for what she feels, wait till she gets older...lol Apparantly her step dad is more of a dad to them then there real dad is, and your kids realize that at a young age.
2007-07-24 12:21:21 · answer #6 · answered by Kara Michele 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to let your children decide when they can call their real dad "dad". I am going through the same thing with my children. I spoke with my oldest (7yrs) and he told me that he doesn't know his dad but when he gets to know him, he will call him dad then. So be patient with them.
2007-07-24 12:16:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let it be and let her decide on her own what she wants to call your ex-husband.
2007-07-24 12:31:58 · answer #8 · answered by Neka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you correct her? it's her choice. And this is from someone who's dad was never there. that is something you don't know about because even if it happened to you, you still don't know how she is feeling about it.
2007-07-24 12:15:13 · answer #9 · answered by echo 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
let it be- it is a harsh subject
2007-07-24 12:05:41 · answer #10 · answered by Tommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋