have you ever felt... that maybe the only solution to your problems is to not be alive?

Question

i was in treatment for an eating disorder about three months ago.. and randomly my parents kicked me out again. we've struggled to get along for years.. my therapists have a theory that i function as my family's "scapegoat." i was advised to move out of their house..

then my insurance decided not to cover my stay at the hospital.. and i was discharged with no plan for after my hospital stay. ever since i left, i get the overwhelming feeling that there's only one way to solve all of this...

and i mean, i cant even get a loan to continue on in school without them. if i move back home, i subject myself to the verbal abuse and threats that i've been trying to get away from for years.. yet it doesn't seem like i have a decent future without their help.

the compulsion to just end all of this madness is looking better and better each day. the idea of taking my own life is seeming to be the only way that i could get myself out of this.

Answer 1

I suggest you go to a search engine and look up "Near Death Experiences".
Suicide is never the answer.....I promise you that!

I also think you may want to invest some time and energy into finding a broader perspective on life.
Find God, seek spiritual enlightenment and realize that no matter how troubling your life seems, it is only a moment in time, and it will pass. This experience we call life is a test, we are here to grow, and learn life lessons for our next journey.
Do not quit on yourself and life.

Take a look at a children's hospital, go to a cancer ward for kid's....and really see life and death. You might realize how self-centered you are being.
Your problems may be real but are not life-shattering.

Answer 2

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. All of us have problems that we have to face every day, and most of them are a lot worse than yours. Once you get away from your parents you can get student loans and if your income is low enough you can qualify for grants. Talk to the financial aid folks at your school. You may have to have yourself declared emancipated from your parents which means you won't have to rely on them for loans.

Get a job and start making payments on your hospital bill. Payments can be $5 a month if that's all you can afford, as long as you pay something.

Get your own place, even if it's a dump and you're sleeping on the floor, it'll still be yours where you will have the peace and quiet you need without the abuse.

Screw your head back on straight and stop looking for excuses to eat a can of worms. Life is hard, get used to it. Suicide is not the answer. It's only a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When life throws you lemons, make lemonaide.

Answer 3

Have you considered telling them how you are feeling right now? Is family therapy an option, where everyone gets a say? See suicidal thoughts (page 5), and depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 2: note the tips at the mental-health-abc and conquering stress websites, and practise daily, and when needed, one of the relaxation techniques. Putting up with their SH1T wouldn't be so hard, if you learn to "tune them out", saying: "yeah, whatever you say", instead of feeling like you need to defend yourself all the time. Do they physically abuse you, or is it just verbal? What threats? Be more specific next time, so we can advise you better. When you eventually move out permanently, only see them in a neutral place, like a restaurant, and then only infrequently.

Answer 4

You have got alot of sensible answers nothing more I can add but in answer to your question.......Yes I do have this feeling its not something I plan to act upon but it always seems to be there hovering around in the background & when I have a bad day it seems all the stronger, its just part of the illness I have of being depressed, one of the things that helped me was a web site I found when looking at ways to do it (cant remember the name sorry) but it mentioned all the things that could go wrong how you can cause brain damage & still live.....so things really could be worse theres alot of folk who have tried & failed & ended up far worse of it is a fact - I still have these unwanted thoughts though..........I really suggest you see a doctor they will probably put you on a mild anti depressant & arrange for someone who you can tell your problems to........things may seem bad but Im convinced you will feel better soon if you do something positive about it..

Answer 5

I have this way before, and I was sure that was the only way out, and then somehow, something would change to allow me to see that nothing is worth giving up on life. There was still too much living for me to do, and I would get angry that I would allow someone or something to try to keep me from my dreams. I would become determined to find a way, and somehow, it would. I have had this feeling more than once, and when I do, I remember that the time before, it worked out o.k., and I resume trying to find a way to get me through. I will not be robbed of love, and children, and a career, and just happiness. I would certainly not allow someone else to keep me from getting it. Death is final, and problems are temporary. Hang in there and seek help through your therapist, and get some resources from her/him as where you might be able to live. Arelative, or a friend, or a shelter. Remember, whatever it is, it is temporary. You will get on your feet again, and you will prove your parents will not determine your life. You are in charege. Take hold of life, it is precious. God Bless, and be strong. You are stronger than you know.

Answer 6

things may not be ideal, and you may not have a perfect solution but there has to be something to resolve at least one of your problems. i'd say the most important is to keep your independence. maybe you will have trouble going to school, maybe you won't have a lot of money, but you WILL eventually. sometimes things take time. get away from your parents. get a job and a place to live, however cheap, and then see where you go from there. killing yourself does not need to be an option, altho it sometimes seems inviting, life is too much of an adventure to let it go so soon==try to find a solution!

Answer 7

Life can be a real struggle some times. Just when everything seems its worse, something else happens to bring you down. I can sympathize. But please believe me, things will get better. They always do. I don't know your home situation so I cant give you advice there. I am not super religious so don't get me wrong but some times talking to someone in a church can help. Avoid making quick friends with false promises of help.
Best luck, hang in there and don't give up!!!

Answer 8

Do not give up. You are looking for a solution. You will find one.

There are free services available.
Contact a minister or a help line.
Contact social services and ask them to recommend someone.

If you feel your family is abusing you, then your best plan is to stay away from them.

http://themeaningisyou.com
email me if you have questions

Answer 9

i dont really no what to say to this one but all i can say is you shouldnt take your own life as it doesnt solve anything loved ones around you would care and be very upset (it may not seem it at the moment) i would say keep your chin up. go to your local council and say your homeless and they should house you and/or if your under 18 go to social services to see if they can help and maybe get a part time job or go on benifits for a bit of money.
as i said keep your chin up and i hope it goes ok just try and think positivly

Answer 10

you sound a lot like my sister. I think her problem was she lets everything affect her emotionally way more than she should. its not very good to be this way, trust me.

you have full control over your life, don't forget that. nobody else is responsible for your actions, it is up to you to find a solution to your problem and lead a happy life. in your situation, there are many more solutions besides killing urself. as much as i wish there were some better advice to give I can't really tell you much more. ur the only one who knows the answers to your problems and u must rely on yourself for that. good luck