I have been dating a wonderful man for a year. 2 weeks ago...he planned and cooked a really nice late dinner for us. While I was at my home earlier in the evening....I decided to take a nap...have been stressed out with work lately and not sleeping well. Well needless to say I missed our dinner together and finally woke up to my cell phone ringing at about 10:30 pm. I didn't hear the alarm I had set either. My boyfriend was quit angry and disappointed. The next night when I went over there I apologized several times and felt so awful. But did not intentionally mean for that to happen. While talking my bf revealed to me that he was going to propose to me at dinner that night. Which made it all the more awful. But now he says I'm going to have to wait for the ring. I feel like he's holding the ring for "ransom". But he says he just wants to wait until time passes so that he can do a surprise again. Should I let him know that my feelings are hurt. Or should I let it ride and wait?
2007-07-24 04:37:35 · 10 answers · asked by k1971 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is not good, sorry, Think of it as a yellow light. You need to no more before deciding. It sounds "controlling. But it is too early to tell. He obviously was hurt, and this may be just an emotional, hurt reaction... a one time thing, or it may be something more. It was over the top. He should have not said anything, but it was a human thing. As you say, ride it out and wait and see. Best wishes.
2007-07-24 04:41:40 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow what are screw up of destiny
as i guy i would just like to know for certain
1. you actually did sleep in and weren't somewhere else with someone else
2. why you didn't come over that night immediately after waking up
3. you are happy to get the ring and would say yes if he proposed
4. be really nice to him and do everything he needs to show him you do care and want a future together .... in this category i would suggest do things that made you win his heart in the beginning of the relationship or the cute things/habits that you share together now
5. i dont think he wants to hurt you but most likely that he was hurt his grand romantic gesture was spoilt. i would remind him that you thought it was a great idea and you are sorry it didnt happen that night but you love his romatintic spirit and would be happy to wait for him to do it when the time is right
6. then just wait........ most likely he still wants to propose but wants to surprise you again
or you could propose to him :) but he may not like you stealing the thunder... depends on the type of guy he is
2007-07-24 11:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by elromeo1977 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, umm... your feelings shouldn't be hurt. He wetn through alot. Women don't understand the agonizing men go through to plan popping the Q. It's alot.
I took my chance and popped the question at my first son's baby shower. I planned it perfectly and even created a false need for someone to pick something up. So they called me, I came in with the soda they needed and before I left, as she was opening the gifts, I was standing next to her. She started to brush me away because she was caught up in the moment, having a good time. Next thing she knew, I was kneeling with the ring. She was completely caught offguard and it was a great moment.
He had planned this for some time. Probably even went to wine experts for the right wine for the food and everything. You shouldn't have even known about the ring. He told you because he was hurt.
2007-07-24 11:52:19 · answer #3 · answered by chaoss13 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You messed up pretty bad.
I know you did not intend to and you did not know how important it was for him everything to go according to plan.
If he has planned all that and was making the big step to propose to you and you never show up and never call he would naturally be hurt.
I would let it ride. I know you are hurt but I guarantee you that he is more hurt even though he realizes that you did not intend to.
One mistake he made was telling you about the ring. I guess he was trying to make you understand why he was so hurt.
Good Luck.
2007-07-24 11:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by Dimitar A 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, people make mistakes, but after all, it wasn't a major thing, it wasn't intentional and you DID apologize. IMHO, he really behaved like a complete ***hole. Why the hell would he reveal that he was going to propose to you? Any decent person would simply reschedule the dinner and do it THEN.
That was a REALLY lame attempt at guilt tripping! I think you should seriously re-evaluate whether you really want to go ahead with his plan or want to give him a "surprise announcement" of your own.
2007-07-24 11:49:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelinsg are hurt? Hmmm. You could tell him. But whats the point really? What matter is
a)you know he loves you he willing to tolerate alot from you
b)he going to propose to you again soon.
Just bare with him, and make it easier for him to forget that night. Help him remember why he wants to marry you in the first place.
and the thing about the "ransom"? I think thats just crazy. He sounds like a romantic. He wants to make it a special occasion. Thats all there is to it.
2007-07-24 11:43:41 · answer #6 · answered by Menon R 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should let it ride. this is a very bad situation. i will try to help. you shoud tell him you are sorry again and just plan a date. a simple date where you can have fun talking and doing things together and just chill like you and him did on maybe your first date. you need to spend some quality time together as well as some quality time away from each other. just "let it ride" until the tension passes and you two can get comftorable with each other again. good luck.
2007-07-24 11:48:35 · answer #7 · answered by jasmine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really don't have much choice but to let it ride and wait, don't you?
He's not holding anything for ransome. He just has to get back into the right mindset. Give him some time.
There is nothing you can do other than something stupid that will cause you woe.
2007-07-24 11:43:40 · answer #8 · answered by dpilipis 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay.. why are your feelings hurt??? that's confusing in itself... this guy obviously wanted to make it special for you and unexpected... if he was serious.. and you want to say yes.. just wait.... don't sit there thinking about when he's going to ask... don't stress over it... he's going to do it sometime... just let it be a surprise when he does... he's not holding it for ransom... he wants to make it something romantic and special.... wow... yeah you should be hurt that a guy wants a marriage proposal to be romantic and special...
2007-07-24 11:43:34 · answer #9 · answered by Kevin c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let it ride. You messed up and although you didn't mean to he still had his feelings hurt.
2007-07-24 11:41:44 · answer #10 · answered by Brandi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋