My boyfriend of 10 months is a weed & crack addict.He also drinks day & night 24/7.My boyfriend was hit by a car years ago and lives with his gay friend.He shares a bed with this guy.
This friend of his[who owns the condo]gives him whatever he wants.I live in the same condo complex.He doesn't work but collects SSI.
My boyfriend tells me all the time that he loves me but I don't feel it in my heart cuz half the time he runs me off wanting to go to a friend's house or having friends over to do drugs.I've never talk to him about it but he brings up that he has no friends and doesn't want these people hanging around so much.He talks all the time how he wants things the way they used to be like his roommate would leave for work then I would come to be with him during the day and evening.
Since early spring he's also been talking about the two of us moving out of Texas and moving to his hometown but I don't see it happening anytime soon if at all.
2007-07-24 04:36:26 · 53 answers · asked by bubbacarrgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've always felt that my boyfriend might be gay or at least bi.He shares a bed with his gay friend.Used to live/hang out
in a area of town filled with nothing but gay bars/clubs,motels,etc..Used to talk about taking me back there to find someone to take care of us.He calls his roommate studmuff and calls his other guy friends[some gay,some not]baby.
He calls me baby too.Recently,I've been
finding condoms all over the bedroom some opened some not.My boyfriend talks alot about his roommate having little boyfriends over but I don't believe that cuz I'm there nearly 24/7 and never seen his roommate have anyone over.
The only people who hang there sometimes is my boyfriend's "friends".
My boyfriend talks alot about how his money is my money and my money is his money but that's not true.His money is his money.I have no money.He always has money but he spends it all on beer
drugs and smokes.He says he doesn't want to spend it on that stuff but he does.
2007-07-24 05:03:48 · update #1
Part of me wants to believe him cuz he can go weeks without crack and somtimes goes a couple of days without drinking half of what he normally does.
That still doesn't make it right.
He has been bringing up treatment lately without me bringing it up first.I've told him recently that he needs to go there when he asked if he needs to go.
He'll go weeks or months being happy fun and showing me love and respect.
Then for a while its crap then great.
Both of us have never been truly loved nor shown love the right way so we have trouble showing it to each together.
I recently told him that I don't feel loved and he for once showed feel emotion[ I
hope it was real]after I said that.He tries to act like someone can hurt him.
2007-07-24 06:14:42 · update #2
bubbacarrgirl,
Damn girl you had me at weed and crack. Its only been 10 months I would not invest anymore time in this guy if he is doing drugs 24/7 you can not take anything he says serious because he is constantly under the influence and its a possibility he is gay i mean you never know if constantly under the influence. You deserve better cut your losses you deserve better trust me you can find a relationship with someone that doesn't cause for as much stress keep it moving good luck!
2007-07-24 04:51:55 · answer #1 · answered by Blaqchinah Violation Queen 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I can't honestly believe that someone in your situation would not see all of this for what it is. This "boyfriend" of yours is having sex with his roommate. No question about it. And he doesn't even think you're smart enough to get it because he leaves opened condoms everywhere. Wake Up!
He uses YOUR money to buy drugs because he doesn't have a job and only collects SSI. He may not be capable of having a job, but do you really want this kind of relationship long term. If you move in together, you STILL wont have any money. What are you thinking? He is getting the best of both worlds. And you are just giving it to him without a fight.
I'm sure that you aren't ready to realize all these signs or else you'd have left him already. But the longer you wait, the harder it will be to leave.
2007-08-01 04:24:31 · answer #2 · answered by Little Sister 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, sorry honey, but he has a serious addiction problem. You can't fix it and he will not change for you. That is not how it works. He has to change for him and want to stop. He can find a rehab right now if he wants to, he doesn't. Save yourself unnecessary pain and leave him. If he comes back someday as a responsible person with his life in order and can prove he has been sober for at least a couple of years, maybe you give him another shot if you haven't moved on. Right now there's nothing you can do to change him. Don't be foolish and believe you can. Don't make the same mistake so many naive girls make and believe the addict BF. He will say and do anything to have his booze, pot and available sex from you. Don't get played.
2016-05-17 08:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by reba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay first things first, CRACK, ummm not only addicting but mind controling. He can tell you one thing while hes cracked out and another when he's drunk or high. Okay most guys are extremly homophobic and would never ever share a bed with a guy even if their just "friends". Have you ever asked him if he is gay or bi? As long as he is doing drugs they will always come first not you. No matter what he says to you he is thinking about his drugs and how much he wants to smoke.
Before you think about moving out of state with him why dont you ask him to move into your condo with you. Then see if you can handle living together. If he is smoking weed and crack i doubt the living situition is going to be very comfortable for you.Tell him he needs to get his life together. Get a job, pass a pee test, try moving in with you and sleeping with you not some guy, and making a better life for him and you then if it all works out moving and getting away from his old life and his old friends would be the best thing.
2007-08-01 03:43:42 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal K 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to leave the boyfriend for good and you deserve better than an alcoholic and a drug addict. I use to have a boyfriend who was a crack addict and an alcoholic and I was fed up with him. He also did crack all the time and drank. If he had no money and could not get the crack or alcohol then he had friends who would get it for him. I just got fed up with him and I finally told him off. I walked out of his life. Smoking the crack gave him a bad heart and he had 2 strokes and he passed away in his sleep from a heart attack. This man also had wanted to marry me but I could not. Noone had approved of the relationship and I had been told that I could do better. I did do better and I am now married to someone else. Being with a drug addict is not an easy life.
2007-07-24 04:51:01 · answer #5 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didn't even read the whole thing once i read that the lives and shares a bed w/ a gay friend and read the is addicted to crack...get away from him run and NEVER EVER look back
all he is gonna do is drag you right down w/ him...not to mention the other ppl he is involved w/ doin crack (dealers) those are scary bad ppl
now that he collects SSI...he will never get a job cuz its to easy just to stay home and do drugs and drink
once you do break up w/ him don't pick up his call or anything cuz he will just make you feel bad and try to talk you in to coming back (been there done that) maybe if possible since you live so close move asap! maybe not even tell him your movin
good luck and god bless!
2007-07-24 04:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet he wont even notice if you leave because he's too concerned about where is his next fix is going to come from. He only says I love you to make you stay and help keep him alive so he can do drugs again. I'm sure somewhere deep down in you is a bundle of love aching to get out and give to someone. but it's not for this guy because you deserve better. Bite your pride and move on. there are so many young men out there that are wonderful individuals. Do you have a community college nearby? Hint hint.
2007-07-24 04:47:18 · answer #7 · answered by DinoBaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Crack heads don't know how to be honest .. he does not love him self so how can he love you .. you need to walk away all he is going to do is hurt you ... this guy is sleeping in the same bed with a gay man that gives him anything he wants FOR FREE!!! NOPE try again there is more to this story then meets the eye your boyfriend is an addict and addicts will do whatever it takes to get what they need!! The real problem here is your self esteem issues .. you need to know that you are way better then all of this and that it is time for you to walk away .. you deserve more!! WAYYY MORE!! I watched my best friend date a crack head for 4 years ... she tried and tried to get him to stop the drugs .. he wouldn't ... he couldn't you cant spend the rest of your days trying to save him .. he has to many enablers in his life already .. he needs to hit rock bottom .. take care of your self and walk away he is very TOXIC!!
2007-07-24 04:47:37 · answer #8 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez! Sounds like a Springer episode!!
I can't believe you are still with this guy, but apparently you see something in him! He needs help! However, you aren't going to save him! He needs to want to clean himself up and live right in order for it to happen.
So, let me get this straight! He lives and sleeps in the same bed with a gay man? Hmmmmmm He is addicted to crack, pot and alcohol? He doesn't treat you very well? What exactly are you doing with him?
I think it is time to move on and never look back! The last thing you should be considering is moving to another state with this guy! You are setting yourself up for all kinds of drama! Why??
2007-07-24 04:42:51 · answer #9 · answered by Kailey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all the only addiction that should be okay with you is if he is addicted to you. Crack addiction does not go away. It escalates and becomes uncontrollable. People on crack steal and lie. If you have only been together a short time, I would cut ties and run for it. You do not want to get caught up in his drug life. It will only bring you down. Under no circumstances should you move with him. He needs rehab and fast.
2007-07-24 04:41:54 · answer #10 · answered by Mysterious 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋