Would it be OK for the groom to kiss the bride at a Hindu wedding in the UK?

Question

I know that there have been various scandals about grooms and brides kissing during Hindu wedding ceremonies in India. An Israeli couple were fined 1000 rupees for kissing during their own wedding in Rajasthan in 2005. And this year someone was trying to initiate proceedings against Elizabeth Hurley and her new husband for kissing at their wedding. But what about outside India. In the UK, for example? Is it considered acceptable for the groom to publicly kiss the bride during a Hindu ceremony?

Answer 1

The ultimate "it depends" question, Vulture, but having had the honor -and it was truly that- of attending a Hindi wedding, let me pass along what I think I know.

The occasion was a true "society" wedding, performed in Alexandria (the one in Virgina, not the one in Egypt). An entire 5 star hotel was rented both for the ceremony and reception and as accomodations for the guests who traveled from all points of the globe to attend. Among the guests were the US Secretary, key US Senate Committee chairmen and folks from the Pentagon. This was a BIG DEAL. As I recall, the groom was the son of an Afghani official, the bride a daughter of another prominent Afghani couple.

This was during the time that the Russians were attempting to conquer Afghanistan which, as you may remember, didn't work very well. Matter of fact, we were sneaking arms and munitions to the folks who were the "good guys" back then, and in exchange for their zapping the Ruskies with Stinger missles and the like, we would pull them out after a few months and give them a nice life over here. Let me assure you, there was a long line of them. Remember the cover of Time Magazine that showed a freedom fighter standing trumphantly over the smouldering hulk of a downed Soviet helicopter? THAT guy was there. He had recently been brought out, and was working as a bartender at a Mexican restaurant in Crofton, MD. That's right, a MEXICAN restaurant owned by two AFGHANI brothers. I couldn't make that up. "Mookie," as he was known, has since gone on to bigger and better things.

I tell you all this to give you some idea of the vast number of people involved and the diversity of the crowd. The Afghani's of course (there were the Hindu ones, obviously) wanted their country back, and wanted our help to do it. Marriages were a key element of structuring power in that society and THIS marriage had something for everyone: specifically an alliance between important Afghani/Indian familes, and a more solid alliance with Uncle Sam. And so, you can well imagine that the wedding itself was a VERY HOLY occasion -a lot was riding on it.

So there we all were, perhaps 2,000 of us, elbow-to-elbow, crowded into a big ballroom, where liquor (yes, liquor) flowed for those of western taste and sumptuous native and American cuisine was laid out on buffet tables. Everything from cardamon and saffron rice with cilantro, to cheeseburgers.

Then the bride and groom made their entrance. Whatever you THINK you've seen in terms of exquisite dress and finery -this was better. I'm talking gold, here. The crowd parted, and they made their way, smiling and beaming, to the front of the room to the cheers and applause of the now very whipped up crowd. Two small thrones had been placed on a platform, and they took their places on them, side by side. Pictures were taken, music played, the crowd swooned, incense (and heaven knows what else) filled the air.

And then, they stepped down and made their exit through a side door, followed by a handful of others -just a few. The door closed behind them. I leaned to my friend Deepak (one of the two brothers who owned the Mexican restaurant where Mookie worked) and said, "Do we go in there, now?" Pointing toward the door.

"Oh, no, my friend," Dee said, "the wedding is very very private and sacred. Only the priest, family go in there. They'll will be back in a minute or two if everything goes as planned."

"You mean I drove down here from Crofton and fought all this traffic to NOT see them get married?!" I exclaimed. "Can you get me in?"

"Even I cannot go," he said. "Even Cha-cha can't go in, and he did business with those familes for may years." (Note: "Cha-cha" is an affectionate term for, "Father," in Afghani).

And after a time, the bride and groom emerged and with their families formed a reception line. It took two hours to get around to them, and I extended my greeting by both shaking hands and doing the little "fingers-together," bow thing, which was returned with laughter and an appreciative smile. Some pretty tough looking security guards were hanging around in the background.

During this entire time, I did not see anyone kiss anyone else, period. I don't know what happened during the actual ceremony, but I was told by Dee that "kissing the bride" was not a normal part of it. "They'll be plenty of time for that, later," he quipped.

And so, I'm given to think that overt acts of affection by sucking face are not well regarded among Hindi high society folks. But man, the food was good!

Answer 2

I am not from India or the UK but here are my thoughts.... I'm assuming you're inquiring about your own wedding. I will also assume that in India it is actually illegal to kiss, but no so in the UK. So, the decision now would be up to you and your intended. If you want a full out "traditional" Hindu wedding, I'd say no kiss. But, if you are willing to break some rules and incorporate some different traditions, I'd say go for it!

Answer 3

Ask the person who is performing the ceremony. I suspect that it would be in bad taste for a Hindu wedding no matter where it is held.

Answer 4

1

Answer 5

Couldn't tell u, I'm not in the UK or hindu.