**GUYS** How do you want females to react when you make a statement like this?

Question

Well i met a guy randomly today at the supermarket.

We were talking and did the regular exchange of numbers.

About a few hours after, he texted and i quote:

'we should grab a coffee' --- just out of the blue in the text conversation

I was not given a time or a place.

Is this actually considered as asking someone out?

**EDIT**

okay well, if it is how do i turn him down without sounding harsh. I am currently seeing someone already.

not a boyfriend, just 'seeing someone'

i believe in one at a time. but ...see i want this guy to be available if the other doesn't go to plan

Answer 1

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First of all, if you are already seeing someone, why did you give him your number? If I met a gal in a supermarket and we chatted and exchanged phone numbers, I would have some expectation that she would like to go out on a date with me. Am I crazy?

And yes, he was asking you out. I don't see anything clumsy about it though, as other answerers have suggested. I have asked women out without any mention of time and place. My purpose in this is to see if they are interested in me at all. The time and the place are unimportant if the answer is going to be "no."

I once asked a woman out and just said, "Would you like to go out sometime?" She said to me, "Tell me first what we're going to do." I refused. I said, "I don't want you to go out with me because it's to a movie that you happen to want to see. I want you to go because you want to spend some time with me. What we do on the date should be secondary to the question of whether we want to get to know each other better." I ended up marrying her.

So, in short, a guy shouldn't have to come to you with a full itinerary for the evening just to see if you want to go out with him. Do you want to grab the coffee or not? If you don't want to, then just say, "Sorry if you got the wrong idea, but I'm not interested in seeing you." But be prepared, then, to explain why you gave him your number in the first place.
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Answer 2

It's a proposition... Just because you exchanged numbers doesn't mean you actually intend on calling him or returning his calls. He's seeing if you're interested or not. I would expect one of the following:

No answer (I don't recommend this... At least have the decency to respond!)

"No thanks..."

"Sure... I'm free Saturday. What time and where?"

***To your addition: Why did you exchange numbers with him at the supermarket if you already have a boyfriend? That wasn't a good move. Just tell him you already have a boyfriend, and that you're sorry for the confusion.

***To your addition: Well, that's selfish, don't you think? You want him to wait around for you and "be available", just in case your current dating partner (since he's not a boyfriend) doesn't work out. Just make a decision: Try it with your current guy, or switch it up. But don't string one along so he's available 'just in case'. That's an awful thing to do to someone.

Answer 3

The "grab a coffee" line means that he wants to see you in person again and get to know you. That's never a bad sign. He could have waited until the next day to text you, but he was probably thinking about you. After you guys have "coffee," who knows where that will lead you... you might spend the day together and have some drinks by the end... and that would be a date!

Answer 4

He's asking if you want to go grab coffee and chat some time, but he's not worried about the place or time. Don't try to read between the lines, us guys are far too simplistic for that.

You should text him back and say either "Sounds good to me, where are when?"

or "Nah thanks"

Since you've only just met, don't go anywhere private with him. And it might be a good idea to take a friend along.

Answer 5

well, you seem a little confused :) you say, you are seeing someone else, you believe in "one at a time", but you still give numbers around... :) bad girl should i say :) Anyway, you say him yeah, maybe sometime you could have a coffe, but you will send him a message. its the better way to let someone out... and its not harsh. you cant say him that you are with someone, cause you arent. Who knows how the things will go between the "someone" you are seeing currently" and you. So, this way, you leave the other person waiting, and in the meantime, you try with this person you are seeing currently, and see what happens. You got my point ?

Answer 6

First, if you're "with" a guy, why it it you are exchanging numbers--unless you found a business connection? Second, what difference does it make if it IS or ISN'T asking you out? It's a question. What it is, is an opening gambit. That is, he's checking to see how an invitation would be received.

Answer 7

just be mates with this guy, sure grab a coffee or what ever [AS MATES] then if the other guy turns u down, then u can take of frm mates 2 lovers! in the mean while get to know this guy a bit better as mates. ok hope i have helped u hun xoxoxox

Answer 8

It's kind of an open-ended question --

He is allowing you to take it as you want -- a coffee could be casual, or considered a date, or just a friendship thing.

He is leaving it up to YOU to decide which way you want to take it.

Actually, I think it is a very good question/offer in his part,. leaving it open to however you want to respond, however you want to interpret it.

Answer 9

If you really believed in one at a time you wouldn't have given supermarket man your number. You have a cheating heart babe. Deal with that first.

#1 you know perfectly well he was asking you out in a non-assumming way..coffee is a good starter place.

#2Try telling him the truth

Answer 10

I'm sure he was thinking of it when you saw and spoke to him, but just didn't want to seem too forward (by you) for asking on the spot, because you probably would have said no.
Of course, he is 'asking you out'... What else would 'grab a coffee' mean to you?