EVENT-- 3 kids boy14 ,boy8,& girl4. My friend & her 2 kids girl12 & girl6 were over to babysit mine while hubby &i went 2 dinner. We got home and my friend said we had a problem and proceded 2 tell me that the older ones found the lil 2 under the covers half nude. She said she asked 2 lil ones what happened & 4 yr said "sex game" 6yr said it was 4yrs idea & she didn't do anything & It was all 4yr fault. My friend sent her 6yr. back w/ other kids and kept 4yr. by herself & put her 2 bed. In the morning I sat my kids down individually 2 talk and heard compelling evidence that both the 4&6 were partaking in the "game". I called my friend and asked if we could all sit down and discuss this and she agrees but she insists that it was all the 4yr. old and her kid was not a willing "participant". We had SO many problems w/her kids before on SOmany issues we keep a watchful eye but we never thought anything like this would happen....I say it was curiousity but she thinks therapy is needed. HELP
2007-07-23 20:16:28 · 22 answers · asked by Debbie S 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My family and i have a hard time believing 4yr. old would initiate this.....6 yr old has ALWAYS been the instigator!The 4yr old worships the 6yr.old & always does what she tells her to even when she knows she shouldn't! 6yr. old is quite a bossy tattle tale & says she was saying no but then why didnt she go tell and how come older kids said that they both were giggling?
2007-07-23 20:24:04 · update #1
We have parental blocks on tv and don't have sex infront of our kids!!!
2007-07-23 20:28:41 · update #2
read clearly....my friend babysat and had her kids with her. The kids were not alone or being babysat by other kids.....
2007-07-24 04:44:13 · update #3
I've read a LOT about molestation and child sexual abuse.
I could be off but it sounds to me like the 6 yr old has been inappropriately touched or abused & is acting out w/ your 4 yo.
Children who have this happen to them might know it's wrong, and a 6 yo is MUCH more likely to lie than a 4 yo. a 6 yo knows the repercusiions of something of that magnitude, the 4 yo probably would not.
If you & your friend do not KNOW the 6 yo has been abused, I suggest you bring it up to her, and possibly involve authorities to be sure the 6 yo is safe.
And keep your kids away from hers, I know it's hard - but it's for their safety. A poor 4 yo sghouldn't have to know those things.....neither should a 6 yo. :(
2007-07-23 20:23:14 · answer #1 · answered by mkt 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would say it was curiosity also. But if you have had so many issues with her children maybe they are the ones that need therapy. (maybe the mom too.)
I would still sit down with her and the children and talk it out. Explain to them that children are not supposed/allowed to do those kinds of things. Also the other parent should keep a close eye on who her children are around.
The bottom line is that the children got it from somewhere weather it is curiosity, someone touching them inappropriately, or they have seen someone else do these things. Talk to them and maybe talk to your friend alone also.
2007-07-23 20:24:59 · answer #2 · answered by Pear36LL 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me when I was younger. It was with my best friend, and I had NO IDEA what it was. I was only 6! She was 6, too. Anyway, you should punish the six year old. Trust me, NO four year old would know what sex was even if you told them! It would of had to be the six year old.If that kid isn't punish soon, there are going to be many,many problems later...
It could also be sexual curiosity, but I highly doubt that if she called it "the sex game". She must have seen it somewhere and somehow.
2007-07-23 21:02:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was probably the way she asked the question that made her child feel like they were already in trouble so they lied on your child for their sake. She could have already been blaming your child in her voice.
I do think some type of therapy is needed because they have obviously witnessed a little too much to be having this kind of activity at 4!
No one wants to think their children do wrong and until both of you stop and realize that your children are not little perfect angels and stop blaming each others child, you are not going to get this solved.
2007-07-23 20:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by jacklyn_denise 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it came from somewhere...
all the kids should be sat down seperately and talked to.
i'm not anything but a parent but that all seems a bit much for any child to come up with on thier own.
i'm not trying to compound your woes but it's very possible that there is an adult responsible for that behavior - the "sex game" title may have been cooked up by someone who was attempting to downplay innapropriate behavior...
keep in mind:
1) that the kids seem a bit young for that type of curiosity.
2) if someone denies responsibility it's very possible that they know it's wrong.
3) you never know anyone until you see the skeletons in their closet.
2007-07-23 20:39:02 · answer #5 · answered by viciousroadie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes i think therapy is in order. the older ones know better and were somehow involved in the game. 4 and 6 is a little young to even know what sex is or what the word means. therapy can get all the answers needed in finding out what was really going on.
2007-07-23 20:21:35 · answer #6 · answered by jezbnme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keeping an eye is not enough, but also considering the actions and words of any adults in their surroundings.. if you're having many issues w. that other parent and her kid why not let the kids separate for some time dont let ur kid and her kid be together.. but i think this is not helpful because knowing that they're only kids and that they dont know what they'd done.. but still proper guidance or great effort to do so :)
2007-07-23 20:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by whiskey_tears 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the real question is where did the kids learn about "the sex game" in the first place? Parents? Therapy may be needed but in more ways than just this one.
2007-07-23 20:20:29 · answer #8 · answered by Precious 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what? I had a similar experience as a child. I remember playing that game when was young--around that age. I actually have talked about it w/my bf (who is from overseas) and he sad he has had a similar experience as well. I would get some older kids to watch over yours, who actually know RIGHT from WRONG, like kids over 14 or 15.
I believe they really didn't know any better. But if you're over 12 or 13, you outta know better!!!
2007-07-23 20:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is gonna sound like a rant, but i think the media obviously had something to do with it, i mean it is'nt hard for a child of any age to see very clean cut anatomy of either sex. that and with the modern beliefe and encouragement of sexual behavior at younger ages than the previous generation, it's not a big shock. If you ask me, i don't think therapy is necessary, it's just going to scare them and make them think they did something wrong. I think they just need to not be reminded of it... Children these days are treated like "potential episodes" rather than actual HUMAN beings with needs and emotions.
2007-07-23 20:21:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋