ok here's the basic story
-bf and i have been together 2.5 years (i have 3 girls part-time that he loves and sees once a week as well). we spend every other weekend (fri-tues) together when we have no kids and work (both work nites sun-tues each week).
-i have PMDD and it makes me a total witch 2 weeks before my period starts-i take yaz birth control pills for it but skipped them last month-causing a huge fight between bf and i and then another one two weeks ago on our friday. it got bad enough that he demanded i go home or he was going to take a drive till i was gone. i left w/him promising to call me everyday and that he still loved me.
-saw him the following sunday after talking to him on sat (everything seemed fine). we made love (best ever) then when i tried to talk to him-he got stressed out saying he needed space and took my house key (to his house) away. said he was worried that if i had a key-i would invade the space he needed...
read rest PLS important
2007-07-23 18:44:10 · 8 answers · asked by prncessang228 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we left for work that day w/him giving me a hug,kiss,and telling me he loved me.
didnt talk again until this past friday nite when i called to ask about the party at his older sister's house i was invited to. (didnt want to go if he was still mad at me). he asked what i wanted to do and i said i would like to go and see everyone and that i missed him. he said he missed and loved me too and would see me there.
things were a little tense at the party-he hugged me hello and asked how my week had been. he stayed by my side the whole time but didnt touch me alot (he held my hand a few times, and wrapped me in his arms twice to give me a kiss). when we left he said he loved me and would talk to me later. called me later that nite.
i think things are going to eventually be ok w/us but how do i earn his trust back enough to get my house key back?!!!
i love him w/all my heart and we've talked about getting married in the future-any advice would be appreciated.
2007-07-23 18:44:41 · update #1
i lost his trust w/the fights we had. i blow everything out of proportion and make him think he does nothing right. i'm impossible to reason with and he can't calm me down when i'm in one of my moods (trust me he's tried). he took the key b/c he was afraid that if i got into one of my moods during the time he needs space-i would use it to get into the house w/out his permission and we'd be over for good.
i am taking my pills again (will never skip them again-i promised him) and i'm also seeing a counselor who specializes in my condition.
but what else can i do to show him i won't be the nasty witch i've been in the past?!!
2007-07-23 18:45:47 · update #2
give him the space he needs.. eventually when he u give space to breathe he will come to u.. right now.. u pursuing him or calling him frequently will stifle him.. just give him some space.. and please work hard to fix yourself up {}
2007-07-23 18:49:03 · answer #1 · answered by who ?? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As I have already answered this in your other forum question, I will reiterate . . . patience and taking care of yourself FIRST! The damage has been done, and it cannot be un-done. IF you can be patient, and rebuild the relationship, always know he will worry about you and when you might go-off on him again. Marriage may never happen, or if it does, it won't happen without you getting him to see a doctor to know how to deal with your extreme mood swings . . . because if it's happened once (and severely), . . . it'll surely happen again.
Having saved a few dollars in not taking your meds, has nearly if not irrepairably undermined your position of trust. Looking back, I'm sure if you were to decide again, you'd make a different choice, . . maybe even asked for his help, financially, to help you get your meds.
Right now, your situation is tenuous, at best. He's putting on a nice face, but he's seriously worried as to what he's gotten himself into with you. You must never again not get your meds . . . EVER! You're going to need patience to prove you're doing all you can to take care of you. This will probably take several months . . . might even take until after Christmas. Can you be that patient?? You need to be. You need to be willing to wait this out. IF you get pushy, and try and force his hand into "trusting" you, I can say from experience, . . . unequivically, you're hopes of a relationship with him are finished. Give him his space, give him time, show him that you can control yourself, that you will NEVER again make him feel small and insignificant. Logic should tell you that making people feel small and insignificant is NOT the thing to do IF you truly love them . . . right? I sure hope so.
I can't promise that you can rebuild what you have so thoroughly destroyed. But I can give you a path to try and rebuild. He may be able to forgive you, but he may also choose to let you go. Be prepared for that outcome.
There are some more private matters I will discuss with you regarding some of your behaviors/ choices that are not appropriate for this public forum.
Dave
2007-07-24 12:33:12 · answer #2 · answered by doozers2_39 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nihao! There is no shortcut route for this. Its may take time to build trust but only a moment to disolve it. Nevetheless, it seems hope is not lost. Stick it out and show that your feelings for him remain unchanged and if this is guy is half as bright as you say he is, you shouldn't have any problems. Just be resolved to make it right when you encounter bumps in the road because believe me there will be some turbulence. This fact holds true even in those marriages you hear about that are 50+ which is an essential factor to their success.
2007-07-24 01:53:47 · answer #3 · answered by Rocket-D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you looking for excuses to give him, or do you sincerely want to change? You have to understand that the only person you can change is yourself. You can never make another person love you. Therefore, you have to demonstrate it by letting him have his space. But at the same time, address your feelings to him at a time, place, and or activity you guys like doing together.
2007-07-24 01:56:43 · answer #4 · answered by emanyio712 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't quite see what's the problem here?
It looks alright. U at least him as your boyfriend. Marriage can wait until you're both ready. If he loves you, thats whats more important. Why worry about the keys? I'm sure that doesnt matter, here. He took it back for privacy issues, maybe.
I think there's no problem, here. You're thinking too much or stressed for no reason.
Take care
2007-07-24 01:50:47 · answer #5 · answered by K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only time will erase what you have done. If I were you, I would plan something special for him. Plan something that you know that he would really enjoy. Give him a nice card apologizing for your actions, and thanking him for being so patient and understanding. If he truly loves you, he will forgive you.
Good Luck.
2007-07-24 01:51:39 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He may be concerned you can't control your PMDD & it's wearing on him.
2007-07-24 01:50:43 · answer #7 · answered by mikebnchprss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk about stuff he likes.
2007-07-24 01:46:28 · answer #8 · answered by animalcrossingwild world@sbc.com 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋