Recently my Uncle sent out invitations to a surprise 65th birthday party he is organizing for my Aunt. The invitation included the menu from the restaurant where the party is being held and requested that the guests send 20 pounds each with their RSVP to cover the cost of their meal. We live in Canada and thought this was the tackiest thing we'd ever heard of - our feeling was that if you're going to invite people to a party that you should pay for everything......We wondered if this is something that is considered normal and socially acceptable in the UK or if it's really as tacky as we think it is and if my Aunt is going to be totally humiliated when she finds out what he has done. Could you Brits tell me your opinion on this one?
2007-07-23 16:41:58 · 25 answers · asked by nickyninedoors 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
WELL they are elderly and money might be tight.
not heard of anyone doing that before though
2007-07-23 16:46:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
I think that is very tacky, if I were your Aunt and found out that everyone had to pay a fee to come, I would be horrified! Mind you, this is getting pretty common in the UK - I was once asked to pay £50 to attend someone's hen night (bride's party before wedding) and £30 to actually attend a wedding (different bride!). Needless to say I declined both! I think your uncle should either pay himself or scale down the party. Don't feel obliged to go. What with paying for a gift too, it sounds like an expensive night for the guests.
2007-07-23 22:08:04 · answer #2 · answered by Julia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is so tacky it is not even funny. Basically it amounts to a cover charge to celebrate something and one is paying for the priveledge to attend.. What it says is that I want to have a party and can't pay for it...... instead of just having a small party that one can pay for. Or having some people offer to help out at their own behest.
Your Aunt will have every reason to be mortified. It looks low rent and tacky.
2007-07-24 07:00:12 · answer #3 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's acceptable here in Australia...It means people will turn up on the night as they are committed financially. There's nothing worst than organising a big dinner and only half turn up...now that would be bad for the Aunt. You want to have a special party but cant afford it, so everyone pays...look, if you want to go and pay...go...but if you are offended, dont go....it's really no big deal...at least this guy is doing something special for his wife, and if you are all good friends, you'd swallow your pride and go with lots fo good cheer..
2007-07-23 18:11:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's only tacky if he has plenty of money and could easily afford to throw a big party paying for all of it; if money is tight, it's not tacky to try and find a way like this, for people to pay their own way. If you don't want to go, simply decline the invitation.
2007-07-25 01:07:35 · answer #5 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally tacky!
Whenever we have a party or barbecue we always supply the food and drink.
However I do have a friend who has openly asked for people to contribute to the cost of food after inviting them to parties.
2007-07-27 08:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by glasgowgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eww how odd. Who would invite someone to a birthday party and expect them to pay for it? Personally if at a restaurant I would want to pay my share, but certainly not be informed that I HAD to.
I often find the new thing of 'wedding lists' very intrusive too.
2007-07-24 05:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by theoldecrone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the uncle might have done it a bit differently so it wouldn't have sounded tacky. He might have called each invitee and simply said he would like them to join a group for dinner at ..... restaurant on the (date/time) to honor his aunt. Perhaps he could have said that gifts weren't needed because the important thing was having dinner with her and her other friends which would please her more than gifts. He might have added that HE would cover the gratuity for the entire group and each person could choose and cover their choice of food.
2007-07-23 17:36:23 · answer #8 · answered by missingora 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a Brit, but that is tacky. So he isn't even really planning anything all he did was make the reservation.
2007-07-26 12:33:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see both sides. Yes, it is tacky. But being on a fixed income, your uncle can't take the risk of people not paying for themselves.
2007-07-23 17:40:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
.Sometimes hosts would request that guests bring a bottle but that would be for house parties.Perhaps your uncle is only trying to get as many people to participate as possible for your aunt but cannot afford to pay for it all himself,.After all £20 per person is a lot of money.I went to a restaurant for my birthday and everyone paid for themselves without any problems.
2007-07-23 16:52:39 · answer #11 · answered by Niamh 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋