I kissed my old friend and my boyfriend and friends saw...?

Question

An old friend of mine just moved back to my town in Jersey from Boston. We were really close years ago before he moved, but have drifted apart since then. When we ran into each other at the restaurant I am a waitress at, we were both excited and he kissed me. It was a peck and a purely friendly kiss. I know that "it take's two to kiss" but, it's not like I initiated it. I didn't kiss back and I am even the one who stopped it and pulled away. True, I hugged him right after, but I mean, IT WAS JUST A HUG. But, my boyfriend was visiting me and sitting at a booth with all of his friends. They all saw the kiss and my boyfriend has been angry with me ever since. He thinks it was more than just a friendly kiss between two friends. Do you think I did something wrong? Do you think he's sorrect in being pissed off? Any advice on getting him to forgive me? Thank youu =)!

*Love always-- Summer Hampton<3.

Answer 1

I think he has every right to be annoyed by this, but I also think he needs to give you a chance to explain yourself. Tell him it's just an old friend you were really close with. He didn't know you had a boyfriend and just kissed you. Tell him you are sorry it happened that way, but that it was harmless and didn't mean anything to you. If he can't handle that, then you have bigger issues.

Also, if this "old friend" was really and "ex-boyfriend" and he knew that you currently had a boyfriend, then there are other issues involved again. Especially if your current boyfriend knows that this is your ex.

Didn't really answer the question, but hope I still helped.

Answer 2

The problem here is the hug you gave this guy after the kiss. The kiss could have been explained any number of ways, but hugging the guy afterward doesn't lend itself easily to an explanation that he kissed you and you were not complicit. Any way you slice it, you erred. You made a mistake in the moment and it's regretable, but you can't take it back. Simply apologizing won't do it, I don't think. What your boyfriend needs to hear is that it happened so fast that you were caught off guard and you immediately knew you made a terrible mistake. Owning up in a sincere way without repeating excuses is the first step in repairing this situation. The passage of time will either ease this blot or make it fester. Good luck.

I had to come back to this. Others have said that your boyfriend is making too big a deal about this. I think the worst thing is that it happened in front of his friends. If he were alone, it wouldn't be nearly as bad. Can you imagine what his friends are saying and thinking about this? Can you imagine what your boyfriend is thinking that his friends are thinking and saying about this? It wouldn't surprise me if it's eating his heart out. I'm not trying to make you feel bad about it. I'm just thinking and feeling out loud.

Answer 3

Well lets put it this way if you were visting your boyfriend with your friends and you saw him kiss another girl just as a friend how would you feel? Even though it might have just been a friendly kiss, your boyfriend and his friends dont see it that way. what makes this situation worse is his friends were there, so they say things that are going to make him even more angry. You did mess up but you should be able to fix it. I would appoligize a lot. Maybe take him out or send him some sweet texts. Or if he had his eye on something hes really wanted (not overlly exspensive) maybe get it for him. Sit, talk with him, appoligize, tell him you wont do it again. You need to accept the fact he might not forgive you right away and might need to give him space. But this seems fixable.

Answer 4

Well, I personally think it was very wrong of your friend that you say you haven't talked to in a while to just kiss you because thats not very sanitery. (I don't know how to spell it) But, I think that your boyfriend should trust you and just get over it. But, I agree with the first person that commented this, Talk your friend into talking to your boyfriend... Because that might actually help , But make sure you're there because if cases go south you might have to break up hell !

Answer 5

1. Friendly and kiss do not go hand in hand. Your boyfriend had no other way to think than that you are interested in this guy when kissing him.

2. The way to diffuse that would have been to be indignant and tell that guy that you had a boyfriend. The fact that you did not say that, gives your boyfriend the right to be angry.

3. That having been said, everybody makes mistakes. The fact that you seem remorseful is good. YOu just have to apologize and tell your boyfriend exactly what was going on. Tell him that you understand his being angry, but that you didn't want it to happen. If you do this, he should forgive you and if you maintain his trust in the near future, your relationship will be stabilized again. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

It would depend on what he really noticed. What was your posture gestures, compared to how you are with your boyfriend. Or maybe, he could be insecure. But being insecure could be in response to how you treat him and how he notices how you treat others. Especially an old male friend. It may be a good idea to have your boyfriend and old friend hang out together (no booze) and do something fun. yes, include other friends as well. You will then be able to see how your boyfriend's personality is something you really want to have around or not.
But, remember if he doesn't trust you now what will it be like if you 2 decide to get married?

Answer 7

For the rest of your life you are going to run into "old friends" as will your boyfriend/boyfriends. Stay away from boyfriends who don't handle these meetings well. They usually end up being the over possessive wife abusers.

Answer 8

Well, did you introduce your old friend to your BF? That would have eased the tension, however, I think your BF getting mad is an immature reaction to another guy saying hello to a childhood female friend. Here's how to gauge his reaction. If an old female friend of his kissed and hugged him and he hugged her back, would you be mad?

Answer 9

If your friend is not nice to you anymore although you know and explained it was just a kiss, then he is way over reacting. Something must be worng with him, perhaps low self confidence. Dump him?

Answer 10

Hell yes you are wrong! If you ever see that guy again you better make it clear to him that you have aguy and you might be friends but he must respect that. Unless you like making you BF feel bad. Make him dinner and talk to him (your BF) and explain what happened and tell him it won't be repeated.