I was very cruel to someone, verbally. It doesn't matter that I'm right about some of it, that I was angry coz I want things to be better for them. And...I feel I can't help after all sometimes.... It was still wrong and it can't just be taken back.... Crap.
2007-07-23 15:25:17 · 18 answers · asked by all_stardusty 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You guys are great...but it's a family member, not a friend. That's why it's worse. Apologizing will help still? I want their hurt to rewind, for them to realize I just say stupid angry things sometimes and they are so much better than being subjected to it....
2007-07-23 16:08:37 · update #1
Make a copy of your post and give it to them. Or simply tell them I am so sorry, I had no right to speak to you the way I did. I was frustrated and hurting for you, because I care for you and what is happening right now. You have no idea how important you are to me, and I'm sure speaking to you the way I did didn't help. will you forgive me?. I will be here for you as much as possible.
This person will probably have a lot to say. Just listen, even though you will not like what is being said. having the last word, or putting someone in their place isn't always the best solution. talking to them, and try to get their point of view, what is motivating them to do or not do these things. In doing this you may be able to show them what is really happening, without resorting to anger. Be patient, everyone isn't as perfect as we are, look how long it took us to get this perfect(smile)
2007-07-23 16:59:37 · answer #1 · answered by angels_angelsarehere 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
O, the power of the tongue. The hardest thing to tame. You can't take back anything you've said, so you are going to have to just forget that part. But - you can apologize. Let your family member know that you spoke too quickly - did not allow yourself the time you should have to 'think' about what you were going to say and to consider how they would respond. Let them know you are terribly sorry and that you will stop next time to consider 'what' to say so that you will not be hurtful.
Having said that, let me add this - sometimes family members must know what the truth is. You can't back away from the truth. If what you had to say was 'truth' you can still tell them that, just not so harshly. I always use this as a 'foundation' when I am about to tell someone something (and even when I 'WRITE ANSWERS IN YAHOO" -First I say a prayer that what I will say will be something to uplift, teach and help the person who asked. Then I think about the word LOVE. I try to be a person of love. Love iis patient and kind and not rude or self-seeking and is not easily angered. (There is a lot more to this - Read I Cornithians Chapter 13:1) When I think about those things, it helps me to remember that what I say can hurt not only the person I am talking to, but also me.
Don't beat yourself up about it Fren - it's over now. Put it behind you and move toward a new day. P.
2007-07-23 23:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could apologize for things you have said that were false - don't apologize for truthful statements or you will suggest to that person that you are some sort of punching bag. If the person refuses your apologies they want rift/family war. If it turns out that is the case, after stressing reconciliation, and they feel it's ok to keep the war going then give it a break for awhile and then return to the basic fact family is to reconcile and spend some time together having fun.
2007-07-24 09:21:53 · answer #3 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're owning responsibility for what you've done.
You need to sincerely apologize to this person telling them how wrong you were to hurt them. Don't make excuses for why you said what you did. Simply tell them you had no right to verbally abuse them. You might ask if there's anything you can do that might help to mend your friendship.
They may not trust you for a long time, especially if they thought you were a friend, but that's going to be up to you now.
Good luck.
2007-07-23 22:40:50 · answer #4 · answered by toota956 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well like you said you can't take it back. I've done the same thing recently ...... and now my friend wont even talk to me. All I know you can do is apologize and ask forgiveness. If you get the chance try to explain why you said what you did. Just when you confront this person talk in the way you acknowledge that YOU were wrong. Sometimes when we try to defend ourselves we tend to push blame on others, even if that's not what we set out to do.
2007-07-23 22:35:22 · answer #5 · answered by ~Crystal~ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Only thing you can do is apologize and explain why you said what you said. It sounds like you were maybe being protective of someone or something. Give it some time and try to talk things out next time. Hope it works out for you ~ Sheky
2007-07-23 22:29:18 · answer #6 · answered by sheky r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you can't take things back but it's still best to say you're sorry. Next time try to think before you speak. Words do hurt. Good Luck and hugs.
2007-07-24 11:21:00 · answer #7 · answered by lillulu460 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we've all been there...we all have regrets about things we say and things we do, and the only thing that will help you and this other person is to appologize...because think about it, if someone said that to you, and they appologized, wouldn't you atleast feel a little better that they felt sorry about it? all you can do is appologize, and then try to forgive yourself because you made a mistake, and you did all you can to fix it...we all make mistakes like that, but you have to decide if you want to live with the regret of what you said to this person for the rest of your life? good luck with all of this!
2007-07-23 23:46:09 · answer #8 · answered by Ellen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it cant be taken back,but in time or a friendly card to show you really only cared can slowly repair it.you wanted the best for someone and got worked up because they still make the same mistakes im sure.xoxox
2007-07-23 22:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
See some time and apologize to those ppl with whom u have been angry.
Afterall To Err is Human and To forgive is divine
2007-07-23 22:28:51 · answer #10 · answered by Encyclopedia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋