My ex boyfriend and I broke up on Saturday because of one night of arguing. I wanted to work things out and work on our relationship. We are usually very open with each other and happy when we're together. He told me he can't be with me right now and started crying to me. I told him we can't break up! Everyone around us tells us were good for each other. His friends, my friends, and people we meet wherever we go. It just shocked me when he started talking he broke down. He didn't want me to leave his house and he told me he wanted to continur being my friend for a while. I cannot just be his friend though it's either he's with me or we have no contact at all. Hes asked all his friends about me already and tells them all he wants to call me but is scared to. What do I do? I know I want to be with him but I don't want to give in and call me. I feel like he should realize how important I really am. I don't know how long is enough time to wait to get in contact though. help please!
2007-07-23 14:50:56 · 25 answers · asked by Liz. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hes obviously going through something very personal right now, and if you love him enough to, you should help him get through it, even if it means just being an aquaintance for a while
if somethings stressing him out, he probably doesnt want a relationship to get in the way of it--it could be that he doesnt want to get you involved in something that could REALLY end your relationship
so i say this--be just his friend for a while--support him when needed, and help him get through whatever hes going through.
eventually, when everythings taken care of, he and you will probably be one happy couple again
trust me--stress can be pretty hard to handle, and it can make you do unplanned things
and if you guys were really meant for each other, this scinario will work out in the end
oh, n one more thing--i think you should just speed things up a bit by personally speaking with him about whats going on, instead of waiting for him to call you
besides--talking face to face is by far the best way to connect with someone, not through electronics
2007-07-23 15:01:02 · answer #1 · answered by Frank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you man did something he can't talk to you about. You might want to involve his friends in this but give him at least 2 to 3 days to simmer down because it doesn't seem like he's in the right frame of mind here.
While your waiting you need to be doing some thinking yourself. What was your argument about? Can you solve this? Do you want to be with him for real genuine reasons, or do you feel like you just need a relationship. Remember you shouldn't make this about how important you really are...I mean he cried right? I'm sure he realizes if he's cry'n about you.
Think about what's going on at the same time. Is this cry'n and such in any way connected to your big argument.
Your Best Course Of Action: Let it simmer a few days and cut all communication with him. Don't talk to his friends, text, call, AIM, look for him, smoke signals, carrier pigeons, ECT. After that YOU and HIM will have had time to collect your thoughts and have a meaningful conversation. I mean think about it if your cut up really bad and bleeding everywhere are you going to sit there and think Well it looks like I tore a major artery here and this is going to take time to heal and my insurance def. isn't going to cover this...HELL no you'll be screaming in pain. The same goes for this he's in pain right now and he needs to get his head straight first...then comes the talk.
Good luck I wish ya both the best
With that I need your help with a question of my own. Click my profile and check out my question on girls calling guys back. Really need your help here thanks!
2007-07-23 14:59:53 · answer #2 · answered by Advice4U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't call him. This is a problem only he can really solve, if he isn't ready to stay in a relationship then that's his problem. Don't stick around, waiting for him. If he doesn't come back to you soon (a week or 2) then it's a lost cause and you will need to move on. While it seems like you're a good match to everyone around you, in his mind he may not feel like you're a good match at all.
2007-07-23 14:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by Lauren 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, I guess your boy got to "man up"! At least your trying to work on your relationship. My best advice is give it at least a week or two and let things cool down, don't put into conclusions. It's only been 3 days. But if it passes that point, than I'm not sure what to tell you... Good luck, hope things work out...
2007-07-23 14:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have your friends tell him that if he wants to call you that he can, and that you will be waiting. sounds like he is afraid he will call and you wont want him back......guys are weird about stuff like that. He sounds like he was just under alot of stress and reacted the wrong way and now doesnt know how to fix it. I say give it a few days he will come around...just make sure he knows that you are willing to talk when he is ready.
2007-07-23 14:54:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
did he explain why he does not want to date? does he have other issues going on he has not told you about? it really sounds like something is wrong with/ bothering him. it might be your relationship but i suspect it is not. if it is unusual for him to cry in front of you something might be terribly wrong.
do you think he will contact you? do you think you could try being friends right now? that way you can help him through this and get back together. would he and you consider staying boyfriend-girlfriend but doing things/ not doing things so he has less pressure on him and can deal with his issue(s)? maybe he is afraid to be sad around you if you are usually happy and something is going on and he cannot be his usual happy self so he thought he needed to bail out. in john gray's men are from mars women are from venus he says that men usually focus on one problem at a time and go into their "cave" to come up with a solution. perhaps that is what your ex-boyfriend is doing is trying to distance himself to figure something out but he did not know how to go about it. he still may want you but need some space and not know how to go about it.
it seems like you cannot be without him. might it be worth it to be his "friend" now so that he can find his way back to you. if two people are meant to be together they will.
when you figure out what you want call him and try to get some answers - find out what he was really saying and needing when he broke up with you and maybe come up with a compromise.
2007-07-23 14:55:10 · answer #6 · answered by :-D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that he will have to calm down before you find out the answer but it sounds like it is out of your hands. I would be careful going forward with him. He really sounds a little unbalanced right now. Best wishes.
2007-07-23 14:55:37 · answer #7 · answered by Texas Cowboy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him, and he loves you- the whole "who calls first" thing is really childish, and unimportant. If there is a chance you can work it out- do it! If not, let it go! Just don't let stupid pride issues get in the way of something real.
2007-07-23 14:55:32 · answer #8 · answered by crankyissues 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nicely your mom instructed her which you nevertheless love and shield her. and clearly she nevertheless loves you too. So via her being with yet another guy she feels that she is hurting you (which you mentioned it relatively is hurtful to you.) however the rationalization it concerns is with the help of the fact she would experience like she made a mistake in choosing to be with somebody else actually.
2016-09-30 13:17:52 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes dear... I feel like he should realize how important I really am...it is all about you. The man bared his soul and afraid of rejection. You should be proud. sarcasm off
2007-07-23 14:57:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋