Can I get some help from the agnostics and/or atheists?

Question

My boyfriend is, I think, best described as agnostic. He was raised in a Christian household and he recently told me that he doesn't belive in god but he wants to. He even asked, heck, practically begged me to prove that god exists. I think because, though I'm not Christian, I'm strong in my faith and he wants to believe because he feels he should. I don't want to convince him because I think it's wrong and, more to the point, not necessary. I don't know what happens after death but as far as "heaven" is concerned I refuse to believe that a person's religion or lack thereof will have any detrimental effect. The kind of person you are is all that matters. He needs to have his own reasons and his own gut feelings and trust them and I'm not sure how to reassure him because he associates being a Christian with being good. As if that's the only way he can be a good person. Did any of you have this problem? Any words to help him reconcile with his own thoughts and accept them?

He doesn't call him self agnostic or atheist, he still refers to himself as Christian, I'm just using the closest description I can find because nominally or not I dont think he really is Christian.

Answer 1

Neo: "My eyes...Why do they hurt?"
Morpheus: "Because you're using them for the first time"

I try to avoid the cliche of Matrix quotes, but it seemed so appropriate. When I began to transition into atheism, I was desperate to be wrong. I read books, websites, prayed, went to church, preachers, friends...It's a process, but if he's honest with himself, he'll be okay.

Answer 2

There are two kinds of agnostics. There are those who don't know if God exists -- but think it is an important question. Then there are those who don't know and don't care. It sounds to me like your boyfriend fits into the first category.

I fit into the second. Therefore, I never really had the kind of existential angst that you describe.

I am with you about how if there is a Heaven, then it shouldn't matter what Religion you are. However, this is contrary to Christian belief. Most Protestants believe that you only get into Heaven if you are a believer -- and that acts don't matter. Most Catholics (I was raised Catholic) believe that you have to believe AND have to be a good person.

Personally, I can't worship a God who acts so capriciously. And I refuse to worship a god that uses the same criteria for sending people to Hell that Hitler used for sending people to Auchwitz. If there is a God -- I really hope that he isn't what the Protestants think he is.

Answer 3

OK, aside from the 'label' of agnostic (which who cares about labels anyway)

I too was confused for a long time. I studied both sides (pro and anti christian) for the past several years, and I have made a clear decision for myself. Read the bible, attend church and bible studies - see what they are telling you. In addition, check out the websites below which shed some light on the errors of the bible.

Honestly weigh both sides of the information, and make your decision - but you MUST study both sides to feel comfortable that you are doing the right thing for YOU!

Answer 4

he no longer identifes with the modern christian church and can't resolve that conflict within himself...since he was raised to be a certain way. yes I empathize. been there too.
it is hard to look at everything that is going on in the world and believe in a merciful God....but God is there listening and waiting to show Himself, just ask and believe.
Jesus said love God and each other-both friend and foe....I don't see many churches embracing that anymore...I see judgment and condemnation.
I live my life as I believe God wants me too and will let Him be the judge not some pastor who has no idea what God has told me nor cares because I disagree with his beliefs about God's laws
every day is a gift and an oppurtunity

Answer 5

Give him two books, The Case for the Creator by Lee Strobel and The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. Tell him to read them both and then figure it out.

Answer 6

Not sure what to say.
I think what you did was probably right.
You don't have to have any faith to be good.
It's logic, isn't it?
If you do good, you have no reasons to feel guilty.
And you most certainly will be at peace with the world.
If your bad, you have every reason to look over your shoulder.

Answer 7

well spoken, david h. he's calling himself "atheist" or whatever out of rebellion from a christian household. it's sad the yoke that dogmatic belief puts on a person and I don't think you can break him of it. he has to figure it out himself.

Answer 8

"Knock and the door will open?" Niiiiiiiiice, Lane T.

Real clever. That way, when no one "answers" this "knock", then the reason is NOT that there is no God, but that the person who asked didn't do it sincerely enough.

Pardon me while I PUKE.

Answer 9

Your boyfriend is not agnostic. He's just confused. True agnostics are not confused. We are certain that we don't know and we are certain that noone else does either.

Answer 10

Make him watch these videos and read these.
His guilt will disappear once he sees that Christianity is just another myth.


http://youtube.com/watch?v=GRZmzf7WiNg


http://youtube.com/watch?v=05Oe1UAEATE&mode=related&search=


http://youtube.com/watch?v=JMiAwe6TAYM&mode=related&search=



http://youtube.com/watch?v=9dvupiOb6D4&mode=related&search=


http://youtube.com/watch?v=IGbJpGlwjyU

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QQ-kvw1fYXs

http://youtube.com/watch?v=v1EFuPPOM38

http://youtube.com/watch?v=v2HqrIwz0Pw


http://youtube.com/watch?v=cq5TWTTPHF8









http://www.amazon.com/Why-Rejected-Christianity-Apologist-Explains/dp/1412076811


http://www.samharris.org/