Open bar and tipping?

Question

I am going to a wedding that will have an open bar at it's reception. What are the rules on tipping? Required, or already included in the fees the host/hostess paid?

Answer 1

You know, I've been to a lot of weddings and I usually throw in a buck IF there's a tip jar out. No tip jar? I assume the wedding party is picking up the tip. It is certainly not unheard of for a gratuity to be attached to that service bill

However, what I want to comment on is Luna007's "cheap" comment. You know, I think this is a great question. The fact that this person asked it means they actually care enough to ask. If they were truely a cheapskate, they wouldn't even bother asking the question.

I don't really know what the proper etiquette is on this, I've just followed my instincts, so I don't know why someone would criticize you for asking this question. I'm not sure there even is a standard.

I suspect Scott D and pspoptart are both kind of right, depending on the wedding you're going to. Etiquette is not always universal. I find this is particularly true of weddings. What is tacky for say, "Old Money" may not be tacky for a middle class wedding. What is acceptable or expected at a Roman Catholic wedding or a Protestant wedding my be faux paux at a Jewish Wedding.

You don't know unless you ask someone.

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Also, I noticed that a couple people stated that a gratuity added to the bill doesn't necessarily go to the servers. I hope that's never the case. I would consider that practice blatant fraud and it should be treated as theft if it is done. At the very least, I would consider anything that is termed a "gratuity" that is diverted to anything other than the servers (and/or their income tax withholding) to be very unethical. "Gratuity" has a very clear meaning to me, which does not include funding the hall or the business owner (unless, of course, they are also doing the serving directly).

Answer 2

The host/hostess SHOULD tip the bartender(s) directly, but don't always. Sometimes, the gratuity that is included in the price of the package is kept by the owners of the hall or venue, and not given to the bartenders.

I would put a bunch of singles in your little purse. If you are getting multiple drinks for others, stick a dollar in the cup on the bar. If you are only getting one or two drinks at a time, then put a dollar in every couple of trips you make to get drinks.

These people depend on tips for a living, and believe me, aren't getting paid a whole lot for what they do, much like waitresses/waiters. The place they work may not be ethical when it comes to gratuity because they don't have to be...there is no law saying they must tip. Bartenders work hard, late hours, and put up with a bunch of baloney from a lot of different people. I think they deserve to be tipped.

I was never a bartender, but when I was a server years and years ago, I got a look behind the scenes.

Answer 3

A Tip Jar at a Wedding Reception is Not Tacky.

As someone that works in the restaurant/catering biz, I can tell you. Banquet staff and bartenders make min. wage.

Personally, I don't think it's a reflection of the bride and groom when I see a tip jar. I see it as the venues way of getting more employees.

I would not make drinkers for 100 wedding guests, only to get paid $7 an hour and then get a $25 tip out of the 20% gratuity charge that reception sites charge.

As someone that works in banquet halls, that 20% service charge doesn't go to the employees. 10% covers their hourly salary and the other 10% left over might be their tip.


I ALWAYS tip the bartendar at weddings. I find it actually helps me out. I went to a wedding recently, where I tipped the bartendar about $1 for every two drinks. The guy was really greatful. Everything he saw me approach the bar, my drink was already made and waiting for me.

Answer 4

The bartender's fee is included in the open bar fee that the bride and groom have to pay for. However, most bartenders put a jar on the bar with "TIPS" on it. It's not required, but I think everyone should try to put something in the tip jar. The bartenders work really hard at a wedding reception, trying to keep everyone happy, so a little extra money would be appreciated by them, I'm sure.

Answer 5

Well, the bride and groom will already be paying a lot to have open bar plus they will (should!) tip the bartenders at the end of the night, but they don't always make good money...you should consider giving a little bit. Figure a 200 person reception, each person tips a buck, thats a decent intake for a bartender and didn't really hurt your pocket.

Answer 6

Usually guests have to tip the bartenders. I've been to weddings with open bars numerous times and you should tip them the same way you'd tip someone in a bar. This isn't included in the cost of the bar.

Answer 7

Most times the bride and groom are responsible for tipping the bar as part of their contract.

However, I've seen companies who give the couple the option of having a tip jar placed out at the reception to pay part of the bill.

IMO having tip jars at a wedding reception is very tacky but you should probably bring a few bucks just to be on the safe side.

Answer 8

A tip not included in the host's regular bar bill.

At a hosted bar, the bartenders are not allowed to put out a tip jar, but you should tip anyway. The bartenders may take your tip and put it out of sight (preferably in the pocket).

Answer 9

Tipping is always welcome. The host/hostess has paid for the alcohol, not the bartender's tips. Therefore, you can tip the bartender. Usually a rule of thumb is a dollar for each drink. Sometimes, two dollars for pitchers.
If you want to give more, that's great.

Answer 10

it really depends. some places include the tip in the price for the bride and groom to pay. others allow tipping. it also depends on the b and g too because some dont want tipping to be allowed as they dont want their guests to feel they need to put out any money. my advice to you is put some quarters in you purse just in case and if you see others tipping and want to tip then you can. if nobody else is then you can probably assume that tipping is not required.

as for fine wines answer...alot of people make minimum wage to do worse jobs then make peoples drinks. I cash out peoples groceries all day long where at least 1 in every 5 customers is beyond rude to me and I just smile and shrug it off. I also used to clean toilets and tables in a food court at a local mall for minimum wage...so your reasoning for tipping is really no excuse. these people are still getting paid money to do their job and though it is nice to get a tip, it should never be expected. if people dont want to serve others for minimum wage I suggest they look for another job.