Racist or Logical?

Question

I have never before thought of myself as a racist. I still don't, but my sisters think I am being racist. Case in point, I am 42/w/f/mother of 2 boys(by the same man). My sisters are 22 and 19. Neither of them are married and both have just recently given birth to mixed( african american&white)children. Imet their boyfriends and new babies this weekend down at my fathers house.The boyfriends do not have jobs, but wear a lot of BLING BLING and the Gangsta type clothes. They do not lift a finger to help with the babies(monitary or even just change a diaper). My sisters are both on welfare and my dad is paying for their Apt's, clothes, cars,cellphones and insurance. Their boyfriends are living with them and not having to do a thing! Am I wrong to think that this is a couple of guys who basically are having cake and eating it too? When I try and tell my sisters that they have been USED and these good for nothings are going to fly the coop when another hottie walks by, I am being racist?

Answer 1

Ask yourself this: If these children's fathers were white (or anything other than black), would you have these same concerns?

You are being logical in reference to these fathers not taking care of their kids. You are being racist by pointing out that they are black, as if that is the reason for them not being responsible.

The truth is that regardless of race, there are a lot of deadbeat fathers in this country. What you should do is express to your sisters that they have a responsibility too, instead of placing all the blame on these fathers. That is not to say that they are not at fault, but your sisters sitting around on welfare, collecting aid, having daddy pay bills and allowing someone to use them is definitely NOT responsible on their part.

Four parents total and NO ONE HAS A JOB??? Get real.

Your sisters sound spoiled and kept, and if daddy is going to keep paying the bills, then why would they ask the boyfriends to do anything? They have it made in the shade. THEY are having their cake and eating it too.

No matter what the fathers of these children are doing (or not doing) to help, they laid down with your sisters and made these kids together. The responsibility lies with both parents. And if your sisters continue to allow these guys to use them, they have no one to blame but themselves. Maybe if they were doing something with their lives besides having unprotected sex, they would not be in this situation to begin with.

You are racist based on your description of these men. Gangsta type clothes, bling bling - those are stereotypical descriptions of black men. Newsflash - White people dress like that too. And white men leave at the sight of a new hottie too. The behavior that you have described is not specific to any one race. The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence - meaning that if i cut down a tree in the forest and you weren't there to see it, it doesn't mean that the tree did not go down. Or in this case, just because the media and society do not portray white men as gangsters, deadbeat fathers, and no good men, doesn't mean that they are not out there.

Your sisters need to get a grip and learn how to support themselves. On second thought, they should have thought about doing that before they thought they were grown enough to raise kids. Maybe daddy needs to cut the umbilical cord and you all need to go outside and get exposed to the good african americans that most white people believe do not exist.

Answer 2

You're not racist at all and I'm sorry to say but your sisters are showing their lack of insight into human nature. These guys have fathered children and yet do nothing to actually take care of teach and raise there kids like responsible adults. They are immature plastic gangsters and the colour of the skin has nothing to do with it. Many people are desperate for a job so they can take care of themselves, yet these two idiots (sorry ) treat fatherhood as some kind of joke. Your sisters are using the race card so they can avoid the reality that they are living with men who have no job and lack motivation and are quite happy for others to take care of their kids.. They need to get the hell up get a grip and get jobs and find a home instead of living of others. Oh and you are making total sense and don't fall for the colour BS this has nothing to do with colour and everything to do with relationship/parental responsibility. And your sisters need to stop acting like sheep and get some pride in themselves.

Answer 3

That's not racist. Your sisters are being used by jerks -- it's not the color of their skin that's the problem, it's their level of immaturity and lack of responsiblity -- and that crosses all race lines.

I have two mixed grandchildren. One father is a loser, in prison at the moment, and has other children by other women. The other father is college educated, has a great job, his own home and two cars. Both men are African American.

Answer 4

You are not being a racist only if you can honestly tell yourself that you'd feel the exact same way if the men were white. If you would, tell your sisters, stick to your guns and don't back down. There are many instances where race is an issue and racism should be brought to light. There are also many instances where people hide behind "isms" (i.e. racism) when in fact it has nothing to do with it.

Answer 5

Not all black man are like that. Would you feel the same way if they were white with all the bling bling, no jobs etc? If you answer yes then I wouldn't say you're racist.Dad should stop paying for stuff for them. How will they ever learn anything like that?

Answer 6

Logical:

Being racist would mean that you do not like these guys simply because they are BLACK(or whatever race) from what I read you do not like these men because they are doing nothing positive to help out or trying to be real men. being that you are their older sister you care about them and love them and only want the best for them. And appearantly these guys are not the best. Personally I dont think it sounds racist but you need to ask yourself. Do you really not like them because of the way you treat your sisters or because of their skin. if its the second reason then yes it is racism but as far as i can see, No

I hope I helped.♥

Answer 7

No your not being racist. If you were to tell me everything except for the race of the men involved I would come to the same conclusion. That conclusion is that they are worthless men who I would not want my sisters involved with. They bring no value, no pride, and no honor to the lives of your sisters or to their children.

Your father needs to cut them off from support and let them struggle like real adults.

Answer 8

You didn't say anything about thinking they're bad ppl becuase they are African American but my question is: Do you think they are doing what they are doing BECAUSE they are African American? If so, then that is a racist thought. There are men like this everywhere- black, white, red, yellow, brown etc Sounds like your sisters should have thought twice about what they were doing w/ their lives and who they're choosing to surround themselves with.

Answer 9

If you are basing your opinions about these men ONLY on how they act, live, and behave, then you are not a racist. Because as we all know, men of all races can be deadbeats who do not take care of their responsibilities, losers who care more for themselves than the well being of their families and cheaters who go around making babies all over town.

Answer 10

IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW YOU SAY IT. IM A AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN WITH A WHITE WIFE.HOWEVER I TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY.MY WIFE DOESN'T WORK NOT BECAUSE I TELL HER NOT TO BUT THAT'S WHAT SHE PREFERS TO DO.IF (THEY) YOUR SISTER'S BF ARE SORRY A@# GUYS THEN THAT'S WHAT IT IS.HOWEVER YOU HAVE TO WATCH WHAT YOU SAY AND HOW YOU SAY IT.YOU CAN'T DRAW A CONCLUSION THAT ALL BLACK MEN ARE THIUS WAY JUST BECAUSE YOUR SISTERS ARE DATING SOME SORRY GOOD FOR NOTIHNG HOODLUMS.I UNDERSTAND THEY ARE YOUR SISTERS BUT YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR DADDY TO STOP GIVING THESE BUMS A PLACE TO STAY AND A CAR TO DRIVE.SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA SLAP THE DOG @#%$ OUT OF PEOPLE TO GIVE THEM A REALITY CHECK AND SEE HOW THEY'RE BEING TREATED.SO NO YOU'RE NOT BEING A RACIST IN POINTING OUT TO YOUR SISTERS THAT THEY ARE DATING A BUNCH OF FAKE *** THUGS THAT ARE GOING AROUND BEING SPERM DONORS.JUST KNOW THAT ALL BLACK MEN THAT WEAR BLING BLING AND THE THUG CLOTHES AREN'T NO GOOD.I DRESS THIS WAY BUT I TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY.