A friend & neighbor threw a 60th b'day party for her dad, indoors on a winter evening. Grownups & kids. About 30 min into the party(after we'd had appetisers), some guests came with a dog.
I am really scared of dogs. This dog was loose, running around, and really bothering people while owner/hosts looked on. It was pulling on my skirt, and trying to reach my plate while I was literally hanging on to my husband.
The hosts made feeble attempts to confine it to a room or put it on a leash. They were as surprised as me, but couldn't say anything as dog-owner was an imp. business client. 20 min went by. Dog still loose, running wildly.
No room I could hide in. I told the hostess I'd slip out for a while, take my toddler to see Xmas lights, and be back in time for cake. She was very offended. I gently but firmly left the party. Came back 1.5 hrs later. Apparently, they had managed to get the dog out of the way for cake cutting.
She is still pissed off. I think I did my best. Did I?
2007-07-23 10:21:17 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Hostess did know I am leaving becoz of dog, I mentioned it and added "to see Xmas" lights to make it easier for everyone around as to why I am leaving.
There were about 45 guests.
2007-07-23 10:29:40 · update #1
you had every right to leave. I bet if the dog had bit someone then she would have still been offened because you would have sued. tell her next time instead of trying to impress her important client, she should worry about not catching a lawsuit because she don't know that dog either.
2007-07-23 10:45:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you handled the situation as well as you could, but for future reference I'd suggest having your husband politely and quietly inform the dog's owner of your phobic condition and asking them to restrain the dog - other people may not have been as bothered as you think.
You might want to explain to the hostess that you have an actual clinical phobia of dogs, not just a minor dislike, and that you are deeply sorry you had to leave the party at all.
She may have been confused that you held onto your fear for so long, and didn't run screaming out the door the second the dog appeared - some people don't have a very good understanding of the nature of phobias, so you'll need to explain it to her.
2007-07-23 11:48:52 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shame on the hostess for being pissed -- she let you down. I think you handled an uncomfortable situation with a lot of grace.
I am super uncomfortable around dogs, particular big dogs and jumpy dogs (with big, jumpy dogs being the worst). At any party (particularly one where I got dressed up in a skirt as you did), I would expect that dogs would be kept from bothering guests. In the very least, I would expect there to be a dog-free zone to retreat to.
2007-07-23 12:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who ever brought the dog to the party was extremely rude. They assumed that nobody at the party would have a fear of dogs or allergies, that assumption was ridiculous. Try letting the hostess know why you had to sneak out for a while, she may understand. If not, oh well, that's her problem.
2007-07-26 12:14:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest it is your friend who needs a lesson in etiquette. A good host always looks after their guests & does everything they can to ensure that their guests & friends are happy, feel comfortable & are safe. Your friend may not have felt able to tell the imp. buisness guest to put the dog on a leash or in another room but she therefore should be understanding that you left bearing in mind she put her buisness interests before your feelings. If she can't see it then perhaps you want to find a new friend.
2007-07-23 10:33:47 · answer #5 · answered by trkmonkee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! I'm not comfortable with out of control dogs either. Especially at a party. If you were uncomfortable with the situation and nobody was fixing it you should have removed yourself and your toddler. Was it on the invitation that there would be a crazy dog running around and pulling on people?
2007-07-23 10:26:36 · answer #6 · answered by Sunny Days 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your hostess has no right to be made at you. You are not comfortable with dogs and you removed yourself from the situation, nothing wrong with that. What kind of idiot brings a dog to a party? I love my dog but she stays home when we go out.
2007-07-23 10:47:19 · answer #7 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your host dropped the ball on this one. The host has an obligation to her guests to make them as comfortable as is reasonable.
The onus was on her, valuable client not withstanding. You actually helped her by not making a big deal out of the situation. She should be apologizing to you, not holding a grudge, as she was in the wrong. Possibly her ire is a defence mechanism, as she recognizes that she blew it.
You indeed did your best.She had no right to be offended, let alone be angry with you!
2007-07-23 10:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you did your best, but I didnt see it, so I dont know for certain.
Explain to your hostess that you have a great fear of dogs and were starting to feel very uncomfortable with the dog's attention toward you.
If she doesn't understand, she's a dolt.
2007-07-23 10:25:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sister you did way more than me. I would have bolted the minute the dog came in the door. Fear is fear - your comfort should have been put before the dogs. Who brings a dog to a party???
You need to get a little mad and say something.
2007-07-23 10:25:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋