Am I wrong for saying this is unfair? Should I be put out?

Question

I was living in a foster home with this lady and two other teenaged girls. I will be eighteen in a couple of days and I have been living with this lady for 2 years. I am on my way to college and I have 2 jobs. i'm not a trouble maker at all. One of the girls recently cursed her out and she still allowed the girl to stay in her home. I recently snuck out of the house to meet my boyfriend at the park late at night. I was only gone 30 mins at the most. The other girls on the other hand didn't come home until 4 a.m. My foster parent found out about it and now she is putting me (and the other girls) out. I feel like she gave the other girl a second chance so she should give me one too. She said she is dissappointed in me because she had more trust in me. I feel like it was nothing compared to what the other girls did. I also feel horrible. This is the first time I ever did something like this and I feel horrible. Why won't she let me stay?

Answer 1

It probably isn't you. You say she is putting you AND the other girls out, right? Odds are she just got sick and tired of what the other people were doing, and your one little error was just another drop in the bucket, but she is sick of the whole thing. I doubt it really reflects on you. You are 18! You have a RIGHT to be out with your boyfriend! If necessary, stay with him or a friend, go to college, and don't look back. You are an adult and probably ready to move on with your life anyway. If you want to, then send the lady a letter explaining your situation, thank her for her hospitality while it lasted, and move on with your life. Good luck!

Answer 2

Your foster mother may have just been looking for an easy excuse to get rid of all of you and it fell in her lap when this happened. It doesn't seem fair, you're right. But on the bright side, you'll be 18 and off to college in a few months. I would write your foster mother a sincere letter of apology and appreciation, and let it go. Like I said, maybe after having everyone around for so long, she needed to be alone and thought the easiest way to do it was to put the blame on all of you instead of meet you straight on and say, "hey, I'm done with foster parenting". Don't be so hard on yourself. Everybody's done the "rebelious" thing from time to time, doesn't make you a bad person. Have fun at college!

Answer 3

You know what's funny? In the first part you say you know not to answer the door, but at the end you say you're going to answer the door! Haha no wonder your parents don't trust you babysitting, either you're really bipolar or just indecisive and contradictory. Such a paradox can be dangerous and even catastrophic as a babysitter. But NO, I still do not think this is very fair. My parents do the same thing with my little brother and I. You need to let your parents know that this is not fair and she should have to wait until she is fourteen AND has all necessary CPR training and stuff! Just tell them it is totally unfair of them to favor one child over the other, that gets them every time. ;)

Answer 4

It is her house and if she wants you out, you really have no choice but to leave. I know that isn't easy to hear and I am sorry for what you are going through.

Why don't you try sitting your foster mom down and letting her know that what you did was very wrong and you weren't thinking with you head, you were thinking with your heart (due to the fact it was with your boyfriend). Let her know what a positive impact she has been in your life and that you are sorry and would never do anything like that again.

The only thing you can do is say that you are sorry AND MEAN IT! Hopefully she will see that you are genuine and will give you another chance.

Answer 5

Trust is something hard to earn back no matter what the situation is. You are also 18, so you may need to take that into consideration. Let her know that you make a mistake you are not proud of, and that you will do whatever you need to do to make it up to her. If this doesn't work, ask her if you can stay until ___insert date here___ while you find a decent place to stay (the dorm of your college if there is one, roommates.com, craigslist.com, your friends, ect.) Do not bring up the fact that she was easier on the other person, because it will most likely backfire on you.

Good luck.

Answer 6

You are going to college and are going to be 18. Why do you care if this woman put you out. The answer might be as simple as she doesnt get paid for taking care of you anymore in a couple of days and decided to let you loose sooner than later. Have fun in college

Answer 7

I don't know much about the foster situation. Do you have to leave at 18? If you've been good and this is truly your first indiscretion, talk to her one-on-one and see if you can reason with her. Promise her you will never disobey the rules again and see how you can earn her trust. Good luck.

Answer 8

Sucks that she's the one who gets to make the decisions because it's her house, doesn't it? You'll be 18 in a couple of days and able to make your own decisions, pay your own rent and bills and make your own rules. College should be a great experience for you, good luck!

Answer 9

Perhaps she felt it was appropriate to dole out equal punishment to you all, for being out when you shouldn't.

My only advice would be to speak to her about how you feel, and about the other situation where she was disrespected but didn't put the other girl out.

Whatever happens, I hope the path ahead is a positive one for you...take care.

Answer 10

Don't worry about what they did, take responsibility for what you did... own up to it humbly. Tell her you are sorry for deceiving her and that you know it was wrong and that you betrayed her trust in you. Whining, trying to shift the blame to others, etc will just cause more difficulty. She needs you to acknowledge that you hurt her by doing this.... I hope it will fix things.