My boyfriend's dad hates me.?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for four years. Through out the four years his parents has always dislike me. They will find all kinds of excuse to call me lazy. He is vietnamese and i am chinese. Although our culture are similar i don't speak the language. I don't know how to cook their food, i dont know what their tradition is. His dad constantly trying to break us up and last night he told me i need to get all my stuff and leave and if his son choose to be on your side he will disown him. My boyfriend is torn. He loves me but than he only has one dad. I want to make it easy for him and just leave, but his mom tells me to stay because she sees how unhappy her son is. I don't smoke i don't drink i don't gamble. I try to stay out of his way why does he still hate me so? I said nothing but cry. What should i do? Listen to his mom or Just leave like his dad demand? I'm afraid i will create more problems. I want to leave but i can't and don't want to live without the love of my life. plz Help

i do work, and i do help pay rent. I also clean the house and i do laundry. I am not lazy. I just choose to clean when they are not home. I don't see the point of being so proud cuz i clean the house. I try to help his mom make dinner but She doesnt speak english. He refuse to see my better side and i feel hurt and torn. I really want me and my boyfriend to be happy. We are planning to get married soon, and i can't marry him if his parents keeps viewing me as this bad person i'm not. I don't understand how someone hate another person so much off nothing. I never talk back to him. I don't steal from him, nor do i ask him for anything. Why does he choose to hate me so?

Answer 1

From your question, it appears like you are firmly entrenched in a bad place. You are not his wife, but you live with him. You both live with his mom and dad?
Because you do, you are under his dad and mom's control (it is their house). His remarks of you being "lazy" may have sprung from the fact that you may not be contributing to financial income or at the very least, the labor involved in the running of a house.
Do you have a job? Does your boyfriend have a job? If not, do you help cook, clean, babysit the other kids, do laundry, run errands, do chores, etc?
Non Smoking, nondrinking and nongambling - that is good. It is not enough. I would say, that your boyfriends dad is looking in another part of the picture. Show him that you are an asset, not a liability nor another mouth to feed.
If this whole thing is not what you want in life, get out and try to make it on your own. Dont live with such a heartache.

Answer 2

Sorry to have to say this but I think you should move on. your b/f father obviously has no respect for his sons decisions. You deserve so much more you deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them. It will be hard at first but self respect and confidence is a good thing. Love between two people is just that love between two people. You have nothing to prove to his father. Your b/f needs to make a choice you or his father. and remember you cant control how other people feel. so if he cant choose you your better off without him. good luck with everything

Answer 3

Aww, you poor thing. That really stinks for you. But if I were you, I'd do somethings to try and show his parents your not lazy. Learn how to cook like Vietnamese people or something. Help his parents with anything they need.

Answer 4

Tell your b/f now is the time for him to prove how much of a man he is. If he sets his dad straight, then you'll be impressed. If not, then that's showing you that he can be controlled by his old man and that type of man you do not need or want in your life.

Answer 5

Dont think of it incredibly is you. some mothers and fathers in simple terms dont like the actuality that their infants are starting to be up and making their very own desicions. I wager the dad in simple terms needs you Bf to have his concepts centred on something else different than a female buddy. Is you BF in activities or something? So I wager his dad doesnt hate you, his dad is in simple terms doing away along with his frustration on you, because of the fact which you are the lady it incredibly is taking his son away, in different words, you recognize? you could the two stick around and wait till ultimately the time comes the place you will possibly be mutually, it would be a mutually as for his father to heat up and take care of it. must be years... or you could smash up and attempt back later on your lifes. The sneaking around to work out eachother gets previous speedy, and could in simple terms reason drama, in case you get caught the daddy will incredibly start to hate you. yet another selection is, bypass to his domicile and in the present day up confer along with his dad. it is so no longer elementary for a sixteen year previous to do. yet his father ought to comprehend that, and you will locate out the genuine way his dad feels. Sounds kinda like his father is being infantile, you could attempt to be the grown up and tell him, "i like your son, and might on no account choose something undesirable to ensue to him. i've got confidence you dont like me, and that i exchange into thinking what i ought to do or say so as that Your son and that i may be mutually and you ought to offer me a gamble?" much less complicated pronounced than carried out , yet once you incredibly love him and want to be with him, somebody gots to step up and be a grown up. or you would be depressing for an prolonged time... stable success.

Answer 6

go out with your bf, get drunk or make him drunk and confide to him that his father made sexual advances to you, and that the only reason why he hates you is that you rejected him. this should help your bf to choose between you and his parents. and you don't want to be with a man who chooses his father in this situation, unless you want to be a second wife for his father.