Cheating? Forgive, or no forgiving?

Question

If you cheat on someone, are extenuating circumstances relevant? Is any excuse good enough? Is it forgivable? No matter how bad you want to take something back you can't. But can you be forgiven, or can it be forgotten? Will it be found out?

Answer 1

First, consider what you felt might have been lacking in your relationship to make you go outside of your commitment anyway.
Did you let your partner know what was wrong? Did you give them a chance to correct it? If so, then maybe you felt you could get what you were not getting somewhere else. If you gave your partner a fair shot, then you may have some leverage there.
But if not, your partner may not even know that something was wrong. And you owe explanations to him. Tell him what he was doing wrong. He could have corrected it. His feelings are going to be hurt and only you know what kind of reaction he will have to that situation. If he does forgive you and take you back, there will be not trust and trust me that is a hell of a way to have a relationship. If you love him and you want to rebuild that trust, then stay and make it work. But if you cannot take being questioned about your every move, having your whereabouts confirmed via cell phone every 2 hours, along with having your whole time outside of the house grilled out of you in an impromptu 2am interrogation, then I say you might want to call it quits anyway.

If you just cheated because you found this other person too hard to resist, them maybe you don't love this person as much as you think you do. Maye you need to reexamine yourself and where you stand.


Just a bit of friendly advice ;0)

Answer 2

Ok, what in the world is "emotional cheating"? Really, I don't ask that to be harsh, I just really really don't understand what that would be. He is having an affair with anger? He enjoys long moonlit walks with fear? Either he cheated or he didn't cheat. If he didn't cheat with someone but was simply emotionally distant with you, well that's not good but it is repairable and just means the two of you need to pay more attention to each other. If you mean he cheated with someone else and had an affair but didn't technically have intercourse, well that's still cheating and still hurtful. And to answer your question, yes you can forgive infidelity. You can even save your marriage and return to a state of wedded bliss where both of you are happy. But forgiveness doesn't always equal 'forget and act like it never happened'. It requires that the spouse who cheated recognizes the great damage he or she has done, is truly repentant, and willing to work to re-establish trust in the relationship. Otherwise you may not be able to save your marriage. But even if you end up sundering your marriage, remember that at some point in the future, a healthy person will forgive. Forgiveness is better for the forgiver than for the person being forgiven. I really believe that if you don't forgive something, you are simply holding onto pain, anger and resentment (and none of those things every made anyone happy).

Answer 3

No excuse is good enough in my book. Extenuating circumstances do not apply. You can't make someone cheat. They do it if they want to and then they make excuses for it. Some couples manage to get passed it if they've been together for a long time and go to counseling or something. Most of the time though I don't think people can work it out. It's betrayal plain and simple. Forgive maybe, forgetting is harder.

Answer 4

Some people can forgive just about anything, others very little. Forgetting is unlikely though, but once one forgives then the subject shouldn't be brought up again (no using it in arguments and such).

I can't think of an excuse that would cause me to forgive a cheater...but then it's hard to say how one will feel for sure until it happens to them. I've been cheated on before, and the excuses given weren't forgiveable (for me) and we're not together anymore.

Answer 5

Cheating will always be an issue between you after the fact. Forgiveness is very difficult since it becomes a trust issue, and trust must be earned. Extenuating circumstances don't eliminate the fact that a choice was made to go ahead and cheat. Yes, it was a choice. Better choices can always be made in the future, but the trust must be restored to move forward in the relationship.

Answer 6

I don't ever forgive a cheater. there's no circumstance that he was in, that would make me dwindle in my decision to leave him. If a guy sincerely cares about you, he should have respect enough to be faithful and bring his love/lust to you, not another woman. There's no way I'd personally take back a cheater. I'd never forgive him in the sense of taking him back. The best or closes he would get is for me to make him a partial associate

Answer 7

if you cheat on someone there is no excuse and no good circumstance as to why it should have even happened in the first place. i would say it would take someone pretty dam special to say oh i for give you but they will never forget the pain that you caused them. yes it will be found out just by the person that cheateds actions.

Answer 8

you could forgive but never forget. I have been cheated on and cheated and either way it is not a good situation. The only person you are hurting is yourself because you do not know what you want. and if stay in a relationship the trust is broken and it is very hard to repair. good luck

Answer 9

Even though no person is perfect and given the fact that someone can mess up, I personally would not forgive a woman that cheats on me even if I love her to death. I just think the relationship looses it's respect. Also, the thought will always be there to haunt you. That's my personal view.

Answer 10

cheating is a sin.

I'm not going all religious on you, because that puts people under pressure.
Cheating is wrong (better, eh?)
People who cheat look for something more than what they already have.

no, not forigivable. how can you lie in bed with someone who will never accept you as you? and not only that, knowing they probably slept in the same bed with someone else.
You feel used and abandoned and forgotten.