Okay here goes. No im not a dad. Im a teenager. but Im having serious problems with my dad. he seems to have gotten it in for me, because whatever happens to someone is always instantly blamed on me. and im usually the quiet child, always writing poetry or drawing or immensed in a book. i have no idea why this is happening, and ts really sad, because i really love my dad! has anyone got any suggestions?
2007-07-23 08:48:08 · 8 answers · asked by Elo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm going to try and answer this - as a Dad (of two kids: a boy now 23 and a girl 20). You don't say whether you are the eldest, youngest, middle, or only child, neither how old you are. This could be part of the reason: parents in general expect certain actions and responsibilities of the eldest children (as leaders), and if the child doesn't "live-up" to their expectations, they tend to become agitated with that child. Perhaps it is exactly your reservedness (being mostly quiet, writing poetry, being immersed in a book, etc.) which makes your dad behave this way. Perhaps it is more a case of him being concerned that you are becoming a bit of a recluse, and not experiencing fun events, such as going out with friend, even perhaps boyfriend, etc. which is worrying him, yet he doesn't quite know how to address the "problem" (especially if you are not a very talkative, "open" kind of person.) There is however only ne way of getting to the root of this problem (the feelings between you and your dad): YOU will have to act pro-actively and "confront" him. Go to him and in a mature way say to him, you need to sit down and talk to him. Ask him for his patience and tell him that you perceive there is an uncomfortable feeling between the two of you. Assure him of your love, and ask him to be honest with you in telling you what is the problem. Listen to him carefully and consider very carefully what he tells you, before reacting. Your future relationship depends on how you handle this situation. As a dad, I can assure you that dads have stronger feelings for their daugthers than for their sons. There is a gentler bond which CAN transcend even the worst problems, if you should allow it to. The ONLY way to solve the problem, is to communicate! But do so firstly face to face justb the two of you. If that fails, call for assistance from your mom, another adult relative whom you can trust, a church minister, or even a professional counsillor. Goodluck and please keep us posted as to the outcome!
2007-07-23 09:04:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might:
Sit down & write him a letter.
Just explain the stuation from your perspective.
Avoid accusations. Simply state facts.
Include how his behavior is affecting you.
Apologize for whatever you may have actually done (even if just being insensitive), but, also ask why he's accusing you of those things that you *haven't done*, and list those* that he's accused you of...
Tell him about your love for him, &
how his behavior is making you feel.
Express the desire to work things out, perhaps suggesting a calm discussion...
It takes a lot more effort to write something down, and people often give more credence to it, than to oral communication. Plus, it has the added benefit of providing the opportunity to read over it more than once, and might be kept as a reminder that you love him so much that you went to this trouble.
Remain respectful at all times, in whatever you say or do.
If it seems apropriate, you might even share some of the following info with him:
2007-07-23 09:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a dad, and I understand. You've obviously disappointed him by being too quiet and secretive. You are losing his love and may not get it back. You should find a strong boyfreind and make your dad mad. that will show him you care.
make them fight for your attentions and love!
2007-07-23 08:58:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell him. he should think and see that he has been doing this. then ask him if you've done anything majorly wrong in the past few months. try to make amends with him and you'll be closer then ever.
2007-07-23 08:53:16 · answer #4 · answered by Zack M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, instead of writing here and spending time on your computer, talk to HIM.
2007-07-23 08:51:25 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you tried talking to him already
try writing him a letter and mailing it to him
it might get a little more attention
2007-07-23 09:03:00 · answer #6 · answered by justmeandcaring 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time for his little girl to have a heart to heart talk with him. he might not realise what he's doing.An how much it hurts you.
Best of luck.
2007-07-23 08:54:09 · answer #7 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its because your the quiet 1. quiet 1 = trouble maker. you are quiet because your a trouble maker. LOL got'cha!
2007-07-23 08:51:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋