me and my hubby have sex 3-7 times a week and we live in apts. My neighbor of 7months (upstairs) is a single woman. My hubby mentioned abt 4 mos. ago, just in conversation, that our neighbor gets an earful so i started getting a little reserved with myself and feel like i can't enjoy my self a s much b/c i feel like this may bother my neighbor. my husband, on the other hand gets turned on even more when i moan and stuff but now it's hard for me to let go unless i know she isn't home which is rare b/c we are home at the same time most of the time, at night, which is when we usually can do it b/c our kids are asleep then and they are sound sleepers. I know my neighbor isn't more important than my hubby but she's okay by me and i don't want things to be miserable for her being that she has no one, but my hubby says let myself go. Don't get me wrong i haven't shut down completely but sometimes i hold back a little. Is this the right thing to do?
2007-07-23 08:33:20 · 23 answers · asked by changesnow 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
also i wanted to mention that 90% of the tim we make love bet. 9-10pm so it's not that late b/c we both have jobs and the children so we need our rest too.
2007-07-23 09:10:16 · update #1
Dont worry, I am doing your neighbor, and shes very noisy
So Moan ON!!
2007-07-23 08:41:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
I have a similar problem. when my fiance was living with his parents, we couldn't make any noise unless they weren't home so I became practically silent during sex. When we moved into our apartment, I still have a similar problem because of the people that live upstairs and not wanting them to know plus anyone walking in the door will hear us (bedroom is right behind hallway.). I don't think its right that you have to hold back and it does become uncomfortable knowing that someone could be hearing you while making love.
Try a romantic getaway one weekend. that may help. Or just don't think about them being there.
2007-07-23 08:56:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to your neighbor ... a couple of times my previous downstairs neighbors were making whoopee and woke me out of a sound sleep, but I figured it wasn't their fault I'm a light sleeper.
When they moved out and I got new neighbors (it's a duplex and I have the upstairs), I let the new folks know that the walls were a little thin (wink, wink), but as far as I was concerned it was no big deal. I wasn't going to make an issue out of hearing them, and I wasn't worried if they heard me and my girlfriend when she's over visiting. They seemed OK with that, and it hasn't been an issue at all.
Soooooooo ... don't worry about it unless she says something about it. Besides, for all you know it could be turning her on.
2007-07-23 08:48:00 · answer #3 · answered by Navigator 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think that as long as whatever you're doing is not above a normal speaking voice level, she shouldn't be able to hear you. And don't be so sure your kids don't hear you. I think you are right to not want to be heard by the neighbors. It's annoying to have to listen to people having sex, even if you are getting some regularly yourself. Maybe try turning on some music, not loud, just to mix with your voices so it's not so obvious what you're doing. And if you really want to find out how much she can hear, ask her sometimes, say, "My kids can be kind of loud sometimes, do they bother you? Can you hear them?" Whether your kids are really loud or not, you can tell what she's hearing by whether she says, "OMG, I never hear them," or she says, "Oh, they don't bother me."
2007-07-23 08:42:11 · answer #4 · answered by CNJRTOM 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem.. And it's just giving some repect for the neighbors. I hate that I cant be loud and say nasty things out loud but. You dont want some one to over hear you and get discussted or turned on.. =)..
2007-07-23 08:39:47 · answer #5 · answered by Midori 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No need to be self-conscious about it. She is most likely in another room at the time anyways. You two need to enjoy yourselves, and this woman, if she had a problem with it, is a big girl and can say something to you if she has a problem with it...
2007-07-23 09:16:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't hold back its not your problem if your neighbor is alone
think of it this way you might be helping them if maybe by hearing they might go out and get some or find some one don't put your self out of your owe place just cause you feel bad live your life and have fun
2007-07-23 08:46:30 · answer #7 · answered by Desaree 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Damn the neighbors lets have sex!
You could always buy a house if this would help.
2007-07-23 09:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by DeathsToy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
use white noise IE run a fan turn on the radio or tv to cover you love sounds that way she will not hear and you can relax and enjoy
2007-07-23 08:40:55 · answer #9 · answered by newtex 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if you're not so loud that your kids wake up, you're probably okay. Just make sure your window's shut when you guys make love, that way at least you know the sound won't travel to her that way.
2007-07-23 08:37:48 · answer #10 · answered by Joshua B 4 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I think it's very considerate of you to hold back but sex is a natural thing. And just because she is single doesn't mean she doesn't get hers. She just may get it somewhere else than her apartment. Why don't you ask her? Just go and talk to her and ask her if she hears a lot of noises from your apartment. You don't have to mention sex noises but any noise in general. If she says everything is ok, then let it go and have fun!
2007-07-23 08:38:25 · answer #11 · answered by Les 2 · 4⤊ 3⤋