how to stop hurting myself?

Question

i am a cutter, but i really do want to stop...
i hav a bunch of family problems... and my best friend is in the midst of dieing from trying to commit suicide..
my ex used to cut and i talk to him alot about how i can stop and he supports me and stuff and makes me feel better, and i really dont want to get "help" or talk to anyone except him bout it.....
wut should i do

Answer 1

I'm a therapist and I agree with all the folks here who speak from personal experience that you need to speak with a professional that can help you explore healthier alternatives. The longer you wait, the harder it gets, so please seek some assistance. Cutting really only works for a while and eventually it'll lose its charm and you may find yourself cutting deeper and more often in order to achieve the same effect. Knowing why you cut and what cutting does for you at that moment will help you and the therapist discover what healthier options exist.

Just a couple of ideas to help get you started-try to stop in small steps. Set yourself a goal to not cut for a certain time period and when you've mastered that, set yourself a goal to refrain for longer periods, depending on how frequently you are cutting. Take it one day, one hour at a time if necessary. You can do this with each episode when you feel the impulse to cut in order to increase your self-control each time you feel the desire. What you'll also find is that as you go for longer and longer periods of time without giving in to the urge to cut, you'll become more aware of all your feelings and what is driving them and therapy can really help you to understand it better and give you options to consider. Ultimately you need to make a choice to stop the behavior or it won't stop. But for starters, try making a choice to refrain for a little longer than usual and challenge yourself to extend the time for longer and longer intervals. Setting a goal to stop can be daunting, but breaking it down into steps usually works and it allows you gradual access to your emotions so you can learn alternate methods of coping a little at a time.

Also, remove and get rid of all the things with which you regularly cut. Many people have certain items they use all the time and it becomes like a ritual. Removing these things will help you gain delay time by not having them readily accessible. It won't prevent you from getting other objects, but it will decrease the likelihood that you'll act on impulse alone.

Another option that has worked for some folks is to take a doll or stuffed animal that you love and cut it instead and then stitch it up or bandage it. It allows you to vent your feelings, but also helps you recognize and empathize with the pain you are inflicting by doing this and that in turn helps develop understanding towards yourself and gives you an opportunity to engage in actions designed to help heal the hurt. Loving something else, even a stuffed animal, is often a path towards learning to love and care for yourself.

Rubber bands, drawing a red line with a marker or ice are substitutes and some folks do find this helpful, but ultimately you need to break away from the cycle of causing yourself pain in order to numb up your emotions.

One other thought to consider. What you experience when you cut is really more like relief from pain than it is like truly feeling happy. The absence of pain is not the same as feeling happy, so don't settle for less than really being happy. Good luck!!!!

Answer 2

I really do not like answering questions like this, but for once I'll spare you the lecture. Please be wary, though, as you could be acting as a trigger for other SH'ers.

Instead of harming yourself, try self-care. Go and buy some aromatherapy stuff... Lush do a lovely temple balm called Flying Fox, and it only costs about £5 UK (I'm guessing less than $10 US.)

If you have hurt yourself, you can lessen the scarring by cleaning the cuts properly and putting on a dressing if needed. There are also a lot of products, eg Bio Oil, which claim they help with the scarring. Never use a dirty object to cut, eg someone elses razor.

An elastic band, which you snap over your wrist, can cause pain without harm. Ice cubes in your hand melting can be reassuring without harming you... maybe a cold shower, followed by a rough towel-dry?

Wen I feel bad I go on the NSHN forum but that's UK based. I reckon there must be something like it in the US. This is where I heard about the "triggering"... posts on there which may push people over the edge are marked, "poss trigger" etc so those at risk can avoid them.

Try to talk to your doctor, and maybe get a referral for Cognitive Therapy, as it can be a help.

I hope things go better for you... very sorry to hear about your friend... similar things have happened in my life.

Answer 3

you really need to get help and if you don't feel comfortable with the person then find someone you are comfortable talking to. You really need to get help.

do everything to relax and get nightly sleep - if you aren't sleeping everything is going to go off kilter But sleep is crucial to mental stability. I know this from experience.
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nobody WANTS to get help - but your life has value and if you keep cutting yourself you'll die. Death isn't the answer - it's a permanent solution to temporary problems, life is painful - do you have anyone else to talk with? do you ever talk to God about it? just pour your heart out to God tell Him everything - He'll listen - if you are mad tell him that, He already knows how you feel tell Him - lean on God - He'ls right there. I know it seems like He's not there, but He is - right there with you - right there.
Just tell God everything.

Many people suffer - suffering is hard. But you just can't give up and quit every time things get hard. You make up your mind and you endure. You keep going. you survive. You make it through one day and then you make it through the next day. One day at a time.

People will fail you but God will never fail you.
It isn't all God's fault you have trouble, sometimes troubles just happen. I've suffered extensively throughout my life and I just don't understand it all. But it's not for me to understand.

you can't jump to conclusions - things happen for a reason - there's a lot of things that are just plain unknown. Later you'll see why
but not now.

whatever things are honest, or pure, or true, or lovely or good or sweet or anything like that - think about those things. Listen to the birds, smell the flowers, do some art work or something - listen to some nice music. anything lovely - focus on that.

I don't have all the answers - I hope this helped you... please promise me you'll get help

Answer 4

Umm...i know how you can stop hurting yourself...STOP! No matter what you think or believe YOU are the only one who controls you or your various body parts. If you want to stop cutting and/or hurting yourself then you just need to stop. Use you head for more then a target. If you use your brain then you will stop.

The only people who hurt themselves and contemplate suicide are people who are to stupid to think about there actions and too weak willed to survive on there own. Those are the most pathetic people known to this world.

However, you say you want to stop, this shows that you have at least a tiny incling of will power in you. Now just use your brain and find something better to do with you time then hurt yourself. The world is full of life and lots of wonderful things to do. It is such a waist when someone is too dense to open there eyes and see what they have.

I'm sorry if you think i'm cruel but i'm sick and tired of hereing people do nothing but complain about problems that are so easy to fix. Just admit that you are weak and move on with life. After all, nobody can ever get stronger if they don't admit that they are weak in the first place.

Good luck. And remember to smile. After all, Nothing can hurt you when your smiling. Smiles in my opinion are the strongest sign of strength anyone can have.

Answer 5

You said you don't want to talk to anyone except your ex, but if you really want to stop, you may need a little bit more help than that. The people at S.A.F.E. know what it is like, and they can help. The number i 1-800-DONT-CUT. It's safe and no one has to know that you called them.

I'm really proud of you for trying to stop. I know it must be difficult, especially when there are so many other problems in your life, but I think you can do it. Please call. I've also included the website if you want to check it out before you call.

Answer 6

It sounds like you should see a therapist so you can talk it through in confidence.
There are distraction techniques for when you want to cut, such as writing on yourself in red pen.

Answer 7

See a therapist immediately. Look for a cognitive therapist in your are that specializes in threating that problem. He can help you to help yourself and treatment is usually very short term.

http://themeaningisyou.com
email me if you have any questions.

Answer 8

call 1800 dont cut and talk to me [e-mail]. i can help alot

Answer 9

Go and see a p doc. Please.