because no one else told me that they would do anything. Well, upon my aunt hearing this, she was very upset about the location and decided that she would pay for it, so I would have a nice bridal shower. My friend, is very offended and called my aunt some not so nice names. I really am upset by this. I feel that it is innapropriate to say something about someones family. And I told her she is just trying to help. Because my mother died, she tries to make sure everything is nice for me. I appreciate both of them. But my maid of honor has not paid for ANYTHING yet. NOT even her dress. And I just bought a new house and paying over 25,000 for my wedding. I do not have the money to cover her. What do I say to my maid of honor? I am really upset and offended by her behavior.
2007-07-23 07:49:42 · 23 answers · asked by donellew2002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Tell your MOH that you really appreciate her thought, but that your Aunt really wants to have it at such and such a place and since your Aunt has been so much like a mother to you, this would make her very happy and you're glad to do it. Don't let your MOH push you around.... its YOUR wedding!
2007-07-23 07:54:29 · answer #1 · answered by Sharlala 5 · 1⤊ 6⤋
Well usually it is the MOH who does throw you a bridal shower. I do understand that your Aunt has been there for you as I have a similar situation (although I am close to my Mom too...)
During the planning of my wedding shower my Aunt helped the MOH and the bridesmaids plan the shower. My shower was a surprise for me. You need to let your MOH and your Aunt work this out and in a best case scenario work on this together.
I'm sure your MOH feelings were hurt that you wanted your Aunt to do the shower after you had already told her her the spot she picked out was nice. It's a tricky thing you have going on now. Hurt the friend or the Aunt. Someone is going to get their feelings hurt unless somehow you can get these two to remember they both mutually love you and want to do something nice for you.
If I were you I would take them both out to lunch and try to talk about it together. Point out that you like ideas from both of them and would make you happy if both of these creative people could work together.
Good luck to you! I wish you much love, laughter and happiness!
2007-07-23 08:09:25 · answer #2 · answered by tinkerteri 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are definately being a spoiled brat on this one.
You MOH goes through tons of trouble planning this shower. The location might not be the Ritz but its something she can afford and you agreed to it. Now you decide that you want the Ritz and completely dump all over her plans and make her feel bad because she was doing the best she could and have the nerve to be upset because she is mad and wants to back out?
You say you appreciate both of them but that's not how you are acting. Imagine if your MIL came by and told you that your wedding was cheap, tacky, junk, your house was ugly and not good enough for her son. You wouldn't just sit there and smile...you'd be pretty tweaked and say a few words too.
You chose to buy a house. You chose to spend 25,000 on the wedding. It's not your MOH's responsiblility to cover for it because you made choices you couldn't afford. If you can't afford to make up for the price diff. between the orignal location and the Ritz you need to have the party at the original location. Just because she accepted a position as you MOH doesn't mean she has unlimited funds and she has already told you that she could only afford location A.
2007-07-23 08:20:44 · answer #3 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Shame on you. A bridal shower is a gift from someone who cares about you. You basically threw her gift back in her face and told her it wasn't "nice" enough for you. How would you feel if you were in her shoes?
You and your aunt are rude. You will be lucky if your maid of honor doesn't resign from your wedding party and still wants to be friends with you, after how badly you have behaved.
And why are you broadcasting the cost of your wedding to the world? Are we supposed to feel sorry for you because you chose to blow some people's entire annual salary on your wedding? Do you think that makes you entitled to a "nicer" shower and better gifts? Do you think that your MOH should be wowed into spending MORE money, FASTER, on your big day?
You deserve a swift kick in the pants.
2007-07-23 08:36:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
Your MOH took the initiative to at least plan something and I assume that when you say she hasn't paid for anything yet you are forgetting about the SHOWER!!!! Why did it take your aunt so long to offer to pay or throw one herself? Sounds like she should have stepped up earlier. Have your aunt help out the bridesmaids financially with the shower, the way most moms usually do. Ask some of the other bridesmaids to keep the MOH on task and make sure it's something nice.
2007-07-23 07:59:54 · answer #5 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think by now you should understand you are a very rude person! Your aunt only offered to pay for a "nicer" shower after you cried to her that only your MOH was kind enough to plan one for you and you didn't approve of her choice. Shame on you. And what's with the woe as me attitude? Stupidly spending $25K for something that lasts 4 hours and buying a new house? Are we supposed to feel sorry for you? Those were your choices (buying the house being the smarter of the two). You MOH did what she thought would be nice. You're a louse and MOH should never speak to you again.
2007-07-23 08:48:54 · answer #6 · answered by geistswoman 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I think yoiur aunt was wrong to step in and basically tell your MOH that what she planned wasn't good enough. She was just trying to do thebest she could do with what she had for money....then your aunt walks in and take over the show. I'd feel REALLY offended truthfully if that happened to me.
My aunts and nana wanted to throw me a shower BUT when they found out my friends were throwing one for me they just did it all together and it was lovely. My aunts and Nana didnt take over the show fromt he bridemaids, they just helped where it was needed. I think you need to talk to your aunt and tell her she offended your friend. But you also offended your friend because the place wasn't good enough for you either....you need to appoligize to your friend and have the shower in the location the MOH chose. The aunt will just have to realize you BOTH overstepped boundaries here.
My shower was in my best friends back yard and it was so much fun! Not to mention it didn't have the stuffy feel that a hall would have had for something as informal as a bridal shower!
2007-07-23 08:21:07 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
you are able to desire to get on good of this NOW. The Maid of Honor would not could desire to do something yet get the gown and manifest for the practice consultation and the ceremony. you are able to desire to have a communication - in man or woman - collectively with your chum and talk precisely what she expects. some anticipate their MOH to pass to each venue, talk to each broking, help %. out invites, decorations, throw a tub and a bachelorette, etc. She won't be able to plan her very own bathe. it particularly is merely no longer completed. Is it conceivable she's reserving this venue for yet another bathe somebody else is throwing for her? perhaps her church or an aunt or cousin or somebody from the groom's facet? If no longer, and he or she's reserving venues for the bathe she's assuming you will throw, then she is a strategies off-base. you are able to desire to get expectancies sparkling NOW. the coolest information is, you have loads of time to maintain up some funds, and you are able to completely throw a tub without spending a ton of money. %. a topic and pass with it. One chum of mine enjoyed to scrapbook, and he or she had a ton of scrapbook stuff. So we threw her a scrapbook bathe. It became held at a bridesmaids dwelling house. all of us cooked a pair dishes of nutrition, and all the travellers made scrapbook pages we blended for the bride to maintain. My bridesmaids are throwing me a tub. The MOH is web hosting, yet she presently have been given divorced. She informed me some weeks in the past that she could no longer arise with the money for to do all she had deliberate because of the fact her funds are nevertheless tied up through divorce. So i'm helping her out. we are having a recipe social gathering (bc i like cooking). same as above, all people is bringing a dish (it particularly is the South. My kin might carry nutrition whether I informed them to no longer) and recipe for me to maintain. the only funds we are spending is on decorations, social gathering favors, and the invites. it particularly is finished fee effectively and actual. I even have on no account heard of a bridal bathe the place a venue became booked 10 months in enhance. it particularly is loopy. you are able to desire to talk to this female now and make certain what she needs.
2016-10-09 07:14:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand how you can be upset, but you have to look at it from her point of view. She was trying to do something really nice for you with what money she has, and then your aunt pretty much says its not good enough and changes it. I would be very offended if i were her too. dont let it stress you out though. weddings are stressful enough as it is.
2007-07-23 12:43:13 · answer #9 · answered by jenn_sr03 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
unless the place has been closed down before because of health violations or there are live rats running around, i suggest you suck it up. no one has to throw you a shower. it is sad that you think this place is not a very nice spot, but she is doing the best she can. it sounds like your wedding is going to be VERY nice, too bad everyone does not have that kind of cash.
btw, i would have been offended too and called your aunt some names. your friend was trying to do something nice for you and your aunt decided it was trash. RUDE!
2007-07-23 08:05:25 · answer #10 · answered by Christina V 7 · 9⤊ 1⤋
Well if your maid of honor is your best friend it shouldn't be a problem to let your friend know how you truly feel. I also feel this is something a bride should do before she get married is to discuss everything w/her wedding party have a pre-wedding discussion where they will know what you as the BRIDE is looking for because you are the important one!!! It is your day!!! Hey if you have to tell her let her know in a nice way be grown up about it. This is business and it isn't to interfere with your friendship. I also feel if she isn't that good of a friend hey let her go and move to the next friend or here is a solution let your Aunt be your maid of honor.Give a dead line on when the dress need to be paid for giving you enough time to find someone else to replace her.
2007-07-23 08:11:23 · answer #11 · answered by jinxjinxxx 2 · 1⤊ 5⤋